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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dad allowed daughter to pierce her nose without my knowledge.

140 replies

ByGladCat · 03/04/2025 23:02

Please help. My 17 year old daughter had her nose pierced without telling me. She knew I wouldn't like it and she said I would have talked her out of having it done. However, I have now discovered that my husband, her Dad, knew she was going to get it done and he didn't tell me. Should I be upset with both of them or just try and forget it. She is nearly an adult I know. I am just so upset that this has all happened behind my back.... AIBU?

OP posts:
TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 03/04/2025 23:12

You probably feel betrayed because she told dad and not you and the two of them.kept it secret from you. She knew you'd be unhappy about it. She's nearly 18 and she'd be able to do it anyway.

Just be glad she's happy to tell dad about things, even if she doesnt tell you. At the end of the day, it's only a little piercing on the nose, it could have been much worse. If she doesnt like it, she can always take it out and it will heal up. Pick a different battle.

Lesina · 03/04/2025 23:12

I mean this very kindly, let it go. Either she will bore of it and it will heal or she won’t and you will eventually accept it. It doesn’t change her as a person but your reaction could possibly change your relationship with her forever. Tread very very carefully.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 03/04/2025 23:10

She’s 17. She can already join the forces. next year she can vote.

You do not get to tell her how to adorn herself.

Be grateful it’s not a tat, and pick your battles

StartAnew · 03/04/2025 23:09

Let it go. Her face, her choice.

BlondiePortz · 03/04/2025 23:09

Why would you have the final say?

DenholmElliot11 · 03/04/2025 23:08

I'm more alarmed at your controlling behaviour than her dads.

fiorentina · 03/04/2025 23:08

I think as long as she went to a reputable piercing studio I would not be too upset and it’s not a hill I would die on. They can take the piercing out and let it heal later if they wish.

Spiaggio · 03/04/2025 23:08

Seriously? You don’t own her nose.

SallyD00lally · 03/04/2025 23:07

She's 17, it's her nose, she didn't even really need her dad to 'allow' it.

WompWompBoom · 03/04/2025 23:06

I'd let it go. She explained why she didn't want to tell you, and she's asked her dad to keep her confidence which he has done. That's great for further teen years.

takealettermsjones · 03/04/2025 23:06

Just move on imo. It's hardly the worst thing in the world. Piercings can be taken out if she changes her mind, and presumably she's old enough to look after it properly.

SoonTheDaffodilsWillBeOver · 03/04/2025 23:04

At 17 it’s up to her. She’s explained why she didn’t feel able to tell you.

Snoopdoggydog123 · 03/04/2025 23:04

Let it go. This isn't a hill to even have feelings on.

hereismydog · 03/04/2025 23:04

She’s 17, so she is above the legal age to give her own consent to get a piercing. When were you planning on ‘letting’ her do what she wants with her own face?

PickAChew · 03/04/2025 23:04

She's 17. Give it a year and she could have done it anyhow, whether you approved or not.