Dad allowed daughter to pierce her nose without my knowledge.

Is it the septum if so I get it but it's hidden so no biggie
If it's the nostril then I'm offended because I have that one haha
But yeah it's a nose piercing it's not a conspiracy against you

It's honestly her nose, I know you are annoyed at her dad but it's just a piercing you don't really have to like or approve of it at 17.

Christ, how is this even your business? It’s her nose, and her father approved. Do you think he’s a lesser parent than you?
My DD bought piercing stuff from Amazon at 14 and pierced herself all over the place. I wasn’t thrilled, but hey…

And to the people who find nose piercings trashy… good! I got mine done last year at 55, and I’m glad that I’m now annoying prim and judgemental nincompoops.

Non issue

I had my tongue pierced when I was at uni and my mother went batshit and screamed at me that I was mentally ill.

It's just a nose ring. It's not permanent. Just say 'that's nice dear' and move on. At 17, you need to be starting to let go. And you absolutely should not have trained your daughter to think that decisions about her own body need your approval. It doesn't matter that you don't like it. That's your problem, not hers.

She's 17.

She's almost an adult.

It is her body.

What a massive overreaction. I can see why they didn’t tell you.

She’s 17 and it’s her nose

She’s 17. She can have it done without your knowledge or consent.

She’s 17. She can already join the forces
@theunbreakablecleopatrajones With a nose piercing? Don't the army have views on that kind of thing?

Sadly I think you probably have no say but I understand. This will mark me out as old but I think most piercings are awful. I do understand adults having ear piercings as ear rings can be lovely, though I have always been to squeamish to have them myself. But anywhere else on the face? Eww!

I pierced two holes in each ear myself because my mum wouldn't allow it. My daughter had been desperate to have her nose done for years, I took her the day after she left school.

It's not 1890.

Ask yourself why she didn't talk to you about it. Do you think that your behaviour could be the cause of her not telling you. She's not being entirely secretive as she told her dad.

You could use this as an opportunity to talk to her about your relationship, and try to open up the communication between you. But you'll need to be honest and open to criticism from her.

If she was 7, and her dad arranged it without telling you, you'd be right to be angry. At 17, that's a decision she can make herself. It's not the worst thing in the world. If she changes her mind she just takes the ring/stud out. It's easier to change your mind about than a tattoo!

I'm not especially keen but she's old enough to make her own decisions.

You have to accept it

I would not be happy either, but I don’t think you have anything to gain by making an issue of it now.

Piercings are now so common, ubiquitous and unremarkable amongst the youth it’s almost more interesting not to have them.

You are completely unreasonable.

Nose piercings are one of the easiest things to remove if she wants to as she gets older and no one will ever know she even had one. And if she likes it then that’s fair enough! My dd now aged 22 is absolutely covered in piercings - septum, side of her nose, about 7 in each ear etc etc. Really not worth getting bothered about.

She is 17. No wonder she didn't tell you because of how she knew you'd react. My 12 year old has said she'd like one and I've no big issue with it.

Careful. There are cultures around the world where nose piercings are de rigeur.

56 year old tramp speaking, widow of a professional body piercer of 30 years standing. Happy to slug it out with you if you really want to flaunt your bigotry, narrow mindedness and prejudice. Not to mention misogyny.

I’d say they didn’t tell you because they knew how you’d react - perhaps change your mindset and they’ll trust you more - you don’t own your children and you can’t control them

Don't be silly. She's 17.

I think this is a 'you' problem rather than a 'them' problem.

Let it go. It's her face. We can influence but not control what they do at this age. At least she could talk to her dad.

It is so hard, I know, but it is how it is now. We have to guide as best we can and

🎶 Let. It. Go. 🎶

She’s 17 not a child. I had mine done at 9 or 10 because I wanted it and my mum was of the view if she didn’t take me somewhere safe to have it done I’d probably do a needle job myself (she did as a kid). I’ve still got it in at 36! The “horrendous” nose piercing has never affected my life chances.

She’s old enough to get a piercing. She didn’t tell you because you would have forced her not to do it. She told her dad because he doesn’t react thet way. You might need to rethink your parenting style as your dd is becoming an adult. You need to respect her choices and give her space to screw up and learn. Otherwise she will push you away.

She's over 16 so doesn't need yours, or her Dad's, permission. Her body her choice, she's practically an adult and it's just piercing so completely reversible. It's not like she got a face tattoo!