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Original poster

To not attend my friend’s baby shower?

112 replies

changernam · 03/04/2025 19:51

A good friend of mine’s baby shower is coming up, I’d accepted the invitation a while ago but she’s just sent the details through with a P.S ‘adults only’. I assumed this to mean toddlers/older children as she’s obviously aware I have a newborn baby. She followed it up with a message to say she’d understand if I couldn’t make it because of the baby.

My DD is 6 weeks old (will be 7 weeks at the time) & exclusively breastfed. The venue is 1.5 hours by train or car. I’d love to go but worried as I’ve not left her for that long

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 03/04/2025 22:14

Purplecatshopaholic · 03/04/2025 21:51

Ugh. It’s quite clear your baby not being there is waaay more important than you being there. Dont dare take any limelight even of the unintended variety. She’s not much of a friend imo.
And she’s having a baby shower as well as a gender reveal? Jeezo, is she the first woman on earth to have a baby?

Edited

Are you really that stupid?! OF COURSE SHE IS!!

The rest of us having babies were just paving the way for her child to be presented as the gift it is to instagram the whole world!

And as for the first birthday party, OP's kid probably wont be invited to that either in case another one year old in the room takes the shine of her PFB!

Grammarninja · 03/04/2025 22:12

You should count yourself lucky that she's given you the perfect out. Baby showers are the worst and you've just been excused from one with no hard feelings. I'd be thanking her if I were you.

Littlemisscapable · 03/04/2025 22:09

ThinWomansBrain · 03/04/2025 21:32

Baby showers are vile and grabby - thank your child for the excuse to dodge it.

This. Plus a baby shower where you can't bring an actual baby. Give me strength. What is this nonsense

Wowzel · 03/04/2025 22:03

I had a similar invitation from a friend when I had a newborn baby. I was subsequently uninvited when I asked to bring said baby!

tsmainsqueeze · 03/04/2025 22:01

changernam · 03/04/2025 20:25

@mummyh2016the baby shower is in a hall & is at noon.

I don’t expect it’ll be a piss up Grin

I attended her gender reveal (at 36 weeks pregnant) also which was held at home and lots of family’s children in attendance so was a bit surprised that this invitation stated no children.

Friend sounds like hard work, i may be old fashioned but a gender reveal then a baby shower straight after 🙄
No thank you , you are lucky to have a good excuse not to attend !

Purplecatshopaholic · 03/04/2025 21:51

Ugh. It’s quite clear your baby not being there is waaay more important than you being there. Dont dare take any limelight even of the unintended variety. She’s not much of a friend imo.
And she’s having a baby shower as well as a gender reveal? Jeezo, is she the first woman on earth to have a baby?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/04/2025 21:46

I loved having my friends baby at my baby shower btw as I'm a nice person

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/04/2025 21:46

ATuinTheGreat · 03/04/2025 19:58

Definitely don’t go - it will be a massive faff for you.

In my opinion, she obviously doesn’t actually want you to go - she’s put a rule in place that makes it difficult for you and then immediately said it’s ok if you can’t go.

My guess is that her baby shower is obviously all about her and her soon-to-arrive baby, and somebody else’s beautiful newborn will detract from that too much.

I agree

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/04/2025 21:46

She's just told you your baby isn't welcome, no need to go or bring a gift.

BeckieG · 03/04/2025 21:38

Dont go. She’s one of those fucking loons who thinks that a baby will take the shine off her ‘me me me’ event.
this is a shit friend

ThinWomansBrain · 03/04/2025 21:32

Baby showers are vile and grabby - thank your child for the excuse to dodge it.

GoodBones85 · 03/04/2025 21:29

DappledThings · 03/04/2025 20:28

I attended her gender reveal
She's had a gender reveal and she's having a baby shower too? Stop indulging this shit and don't feel guilty. It's ridiculous.

This

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 03/04/2025 21:13

bloody hell, gender reveal, baby showers what next? It’s like this baby birthing thing hasn’t been happening for thousands of plus years, there definitely is money around despite the constant whining of cost of living if people are able to attend and contribute to this indulgence as if it’s a human right.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/04/2025 21:03

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 03/04/2025 19:54

This. She will feel like a total dick in a few weeks

Show quote history

No she wont as people like her never do. Its all about ME!!!!!

And of course no one would ever DREAM of excluding her precious child as it is obviously so important to the whole world. When, inevitably, someone does she will throw the mother of all tantrums and the irony will sail several miles over her head.

Doolallies · 03/04/2025 21:02

Wouldn’t go and wouldn’t even give it a second thought!!! As if you’d leave your newborn for her no child event?!

Gowlett · 03/04/2025 21:00

A new baby not invited to a new baby celebration. Mad…

MimiSunshine · 03/04/2025 21:00

Bluesteps · 03/04/2025 20:59

Can your partner go and mind the baby

How would the baby be fed?

MimiSunshine · 03/04/2025 20:59

Your baby is 6/7 weeks old. They are EBF you can’t be 1.5 hours away from them for however many hours. She just doesn’t want you there.

Bluesteps · 03/04/2025 20:59

Can your partner go and mind the baby

AngelinaFibres · 03/04/2025 20:58

Iwannakeepondancing · 03/04/2025 20:21

I get a baby shower at a venue without lots of kids but a new born baby is different! It’s a baby shower ffs… celebrating a new baby! She’s mad! Don’t go!

Yes but it's celebrating HER new baby not Ops. She won't want anyone cooing over anyone but her

Wrongsideofpennines · 03/04/2025 20:57

There's no chance I would have wanted to leave my babies for that long at that age. Even if they were next door and I could pop back to feed them. So it would be a no from me.

I also wouldn't be attending a baby shower having been to a gender reveal party already.

elm26 · 03/04/2025 20:55

My friend is having a strict “no children” wedding, even her own 2 are being picked up by their Nanny after the meal/speeches and are being taken home. The Nanny is sleeping at theirs with the children for the night. However, we have 2 close friends who will have a newborn (will be about 4 weeks old) and a friend who will have a 2 month old and they are allowed to come, it was mentioned in our friends group chat when she approached the subject of how we’d all feel about leaving our kids for the day and night, she put in the original message “obviously I don’t expect Anna and Sarah to leave your newborns at home”. If my friend can see past it for a wedding then your friend definitely can for a baby shower (which to me is a total non event and I can’t personally stand them, never had them). Like others have said, she’ll feel like a dick in a few weeks time.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 20:52

I'd be delighted to have a get out of jail baby shower free card tbh.

BendingSpoons · 03/04/2025 20:51

Don't go and don't feel guilty! It will be a massive faff to go and not really worth it. Of all things, I think excluding a newborn from a baby shower is a bit ridiculous. As PP have said, it sounds like she wants all the limelight.

I would decline and say it will be lovely to visit once her baby is born.

nicenicemaybe · 03/04/2025 20:51

DappledThings · 03/04/2025 20:28

I attended her gender reveal
She's had a gender reveal and she's having a baby shower too? Stop indulging this shit and don't feel guilty. It's ridiculous.

This👆