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AIBU?

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Original poster

my therapist ACTUALLY ghosted me

61 replies

Notmollybutdolly · 03/04/2025 18:21

I have a great counsellor who I had for 10 sessions over the course of 6 months. We had a great connection I really respected and liked her and she made me feel ‘seen’. I. Learnt a lot from our and hoped to continue after the 10 sessions were up.

We had a short break while I organised potentially getting some help with the costs of her services. I kept her up to date and after the last message I sent, I haven’t heard from her? It’s been almost 6 weeks now. this is what I sent:

’’ I'm so sorry for not getting back to you sooner I've not heard anything back! Peter (DH) lost his job last week so I was thinking about having a wee break from counselling for maybe a couple of months and seeing how I get on? What do you think? Or even booking with you once a month? Would that be something that could work for you?’’

AIBU to chase her up???

DH says i should get in touch again but I’m so put off by it. I get there can Be extenuating circumstances but this just seems so out of character.

OP posts:
Muffinmam · 03/04/2025 18:49

Of course she ghosted you!!

Did you honestly expect a response?

It sounds like you’re trying to get free therapy.

Cardinalita90 · 03/04/2025 18:47

You say you "kept her up to date" during this break which suggests you were sending a few holding or non committal messages. As others have said, she's offering a professional service so if this was the case I can see why she'd find it a nuisance. She was probably thinking either book or go away.

Don't message again, if she's genuinely been snowed under you'll hear something back. But therapy only really works if you're consistent so might br worth getting your finances lined up first.

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/04/2025 18:47

She may have needed to take a break from working, depending on how long a break you’ve had. When my mum died suddenly I had to stop seeing clients pretty much immediately and for a few months. I messaged all my current clients and gave some explanation and offered alternative support. I then didn’t look at my work phone or email for about 3 months. It’s entirely possible someone trying to get back in touch during that time have felt ghosted but I simply wasn’t working.

Contact her again when you are ready to book time in with her.

lnks · 03/04/2025 18:45

I agree with pp, you are way too familiar. What does 'had a great connection' even mean?

WhoAteAllTheDinosaurs · 03/04/2025 18:37

Look, with respect, 10 sessions over 6 months is not a lot, did you cancel a lot in that time?
She won't have kept your space open, and I'm guessing the short break was actually a fairly long one?

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 18:35

This “short break”… how long?

northerneast · 03/04/2025 18:34

God don’t message her again. You were a client, couldn’t afford any more sessions and have written to her as if she is a friend.

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 18:34

So you were later getting back to her than was agreed
plus you’re suggesting a change to her terms of business
She has now filled your space
She’s running a business not a charity

how long ago did you send?

either way… don’t chase

thesilliestgoose · 03/04/2025 18:29

you sent a professional a text message that essentially says “i was thinking of not paying you for a few months and seeing how i get on? what do you think?”. If you want to make an appointment with her contact her in a professional manner.

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 03/04/2025 18:25

Times are tough, it could be that she sees you as an unreliable client and would find it difficult to slot you in when you are able to afford it.

It does read a bit like you aren't very sure what you want in that message. Perhaps she thinks you will book one session and then take a break and then try and contact again.

However she should have sent you a message back, I can understand how it would feel shitty to have someone you trust not respond.

MesmerisingMuon · 03/04/2025 18:24

She is a business, and you're writing to her like a friend.

Wait until you have decided what YOU would like to do and then tell her what you'd like to book.