To ask if anyone has any experience of DC moving away for college (not uni)

My cousins dd went to the RAF college and did A levels. Perfectly fine

Actually people can join the armed forces at 17 so can't see an issue with a 16 year old boarding at college if he's happy to do so

Yes, and it trumps any concerns about being apart from her DS through some of the most important years of his life.

I’d hardly call that ‘abandonment’.

clearly
the rest of us however….

1. *I’d be worried about the impact of being apart on my marriage *

Your update of laddish and cheeky would ring alarm bells.
Drinking, possibly drugs with no adult supervision.
College or sixth form is very light touch in terms of checking up on them. They could miss lots of classes and no one follow up.

And yet it is.
You’ve taken leave of your senses.

Me not getting on the plane isn’t an option because

I WANT TO

My dd went to a specialist performing arts college but it was only about an hour away from home. Many of her friends went to ones further away but she felt that she wasn't quite ready for that (she has asd)

For the first year she lived in a homestay with a family and another student from the same college. She then went into a halls of residence.

Several students in her college were international students.

Depends on the set up at college. A friends daughter went to a musical theatre college for 6th form at 16 stays in their secure college dorm style set up. They live like supported adults though all16-18 in age. She comes home every three months . She’s thrived but was a very mature young lady. Sounds like your DS personality maybe bit young for this and a boarding school set up would be better managed?

OP, really, would you honestly leave a 16 year old here whilst you go and live aboard with your husband, would you? We're not talking overnight, a weekend.

You seriously need to take a long hard look at yourself if you do.

I lived in a student house with Uni students when I was 16/17 while trying to do college. So I did live away from home, which was fun and cool. I made lots of friends and gained a lot of confidence.
But my mum was 40 miles down the road, not in another country.

Dreadful parenting. 😢

I have no experience with "halls style accommodation" for under 18s. I work in a boarding school, however, and most of our Sixth Form boarders do well academically and enjoy the experience. They have a lot of direct supervision, and need to sign in/out if going to town (and they have quite specific rules about only being allowed out at certain times, and must be in groups of at least two etc)

I will say this. A halls type environment would require a great deal of independence and maturity study wise. I would be concerned not that he wouldn't be able to handle things like meals, but that he would not have any sort of structure for his studies.

Something with full boarding maybe, but not like halls of residence at university. Even then he might feel abandoned, which would be understandable given that you're moving overseas at this stage of his education. He wants to stay and finish his education, that doesn't mean he actually wants to do it this way or feels comfortable with this. You don't have to leave the country, you're chosing too. All your husband had to do was wait a couple of years, he's chosing whatever is so important about his job over his son's education and you're chosing holding the hand of an adult over being with your son at this really critical time in his life. You're both being piss poor parents.

I agree
Having had one now at Uni go through all the 6th form stuff and navigating becoming an adult I was needed MORE at 16 not less.
I have a son about to go to 6th form college and while he is pretty independent in practical terms he is still a child and needs parental support and guidance.
He comes and chats to me most days after school and he is still very much a child, even if he is over 6ft with facial hair
No way would I put the needs of my adult DH before my sons
I am going to assume the DH's new job is somewhere nice

I think you need to really really think about whether he genuinely would or if you’re convincing the both of you that he would.

If you have the funds for boarding school

you have the funds to rent a two bed for you and your ds

He’s quite ‘ladish’ and very social/cheeky chappy

and you think this is the type of 16 year old to live independently with his parents thousands of miles away

As someone with a dc just at uni I found the sixth form years very intensive parenting wise.
She was mature but needed me. Supporting her applying for uni, attending all the open days took a chunk of time.

To get replies she likes?

I think it could be good if he's keen on it. I went to halls in a big city several hours from home, when I had just turned 17. It was great. They provided meals though which helped me have some structure.

Have you visited the halls to see what it's like, what the other students are like, and what support there is? What support is there from the college?

What would your ds be doing if you stayed where you are? Would he be going to do his alevels at a school with his friends? Or was he planning college anyway in the hope of making new friends?

you seem to have presented in to him and here as if there are only two options available - move to a new country or college on his own. There is a third option of staying where you are and renting a smaller/cheaper place for the two of you.

I know every child is different but there is no way I would do this to my 16 yr old as it would not be her preferred at all. She has friends, she’s academic so wants to stay at school not college. She would say I abandoned her at 16 and probably never speak to me again.