To ask if anyone has any experience of DC moving away for college (not uni)

Laddish - dear God. He’ll have dropped out by the first Christmas, had numerous parties, trashed his room and spent most nights off his tits on drugs and alcohol. I mean if that’s what you want for him then fill you boots.

@AmpleDenimDreamer You can put whatever spin on this you want!
You don't trust your husband and you are quite literally sacrificing your own son to be with him - but get this - if your husband wants to stray he will - he will find a way.

Not only that but following your husband around the world won't stop him cheating.

He's clearly had an affair. He's now said he's got a job overseas and OP won't let him go alone in case he cheats again.

And that trumps their 16 year old child's needs.

You are still legally responsible for him until he's 18 so you can't leave him without some proper adult supervision.

Is this 'halls of residence' a type of boarding school? If so, then they will be in loco parentis and that's fine.

If not you will have to stay or he will have to come with you.

So your son's only options are to either stay in the UK on his own. Or to uproot his whole life (friends, social life, hobbies, education) to join you and your DH.

Yet NEITHER of his parents will even consider staying in the UK for him.

Wow.

You can't leave a 16 year old to fend totally for himself to swan off, presumably to Dubai or somewhere, for the money.

He might manage, but it absolutely will fuck your relationship with him at the very least.

absolutely knew that at some point there would be a slip up in terms of the reasons for being out there.

I am thinking the dh has had an affair in the past or the op doesn’t trust him not to

I can't believe I'm reading this. No, you should not abandon your child. No, you also should not uproot him right before he starts college. DH either changes his job or you find an appropriate way to finance you staying in the UK to support your son. If your DH can't live independently he can't go either.

Lots of kids go to specialist performing arts colleges at 16 and live in halls of residence or host families. My DD had friends in her course age 16 who chose to go to to the college a long way from family and stay in student accommodation similar to uni accommodation. It worked for them.

OP - are you actually on the same planet as the rest of us???

Why are you prioritising your husband/marriage/job over your son? Why??

You can try and pull the he is sick line all you want, it doesn't ring true, you know it, we know it.

I absolutely knew that at some point there would be a slip up in terms of the reasons for being out there.

No decent parent would leave their 16 year old son on his own for 2 years just because they've been offered better paid jobs abroad. As for:

DH has health problems which mean I don’t love the thought of him living alone in the event of needing to call an ambulance

Absolute bullshit!!! He is capable of working in a very important job, flying round the world and earning a very high salary. Yet can't be on his own in case he has health issues and is incapable of ringing an ambulance?

OP - you said you're going to work out there too. What would happen if your DH has a "health emergency" whilst he's at work? Or whilst you are?

Never heard so much crap in my life. You don't trust him. And are putting that over your sons needs whilst pretending it's what your son "wants". And your son probably can't say any different as he knows you're going out there regardless of what he needs.

Thats good but I have seen quite a few men struggle at 40+ having known nothing but Forces life since 16.
The point is The Forces are a very diiferent thing to what OP is suggesting here.

You are rationalising this as its something YOU want to do.
Me and DH will be leaving this country BUT we will be waiting around 5 years so DS is through 6th form and settled at Uni or wherever.
Your child has to come first here and it looks like you have options that allow you to put him first but you don't want to

Fucking hell. No he wouldn’t have any choice. Given he’s a child. You do though.

The majority of them pretty well. We have a lot of forces people in our family

Of course he likes the idea of total freedom at 16, I would have jumped at it too.

That doesn't mean it's good for him. An older brother isn't going to be able to keep him in check if he's going out drinking etc which as a social cheeky chappy seems likely

That is very very different
being in The Forces is very structured and you are virtually parented.
You only have to look at how well a lot of ex forces who joined young cope (or don't) when they leave

Has your DH had an affair in the past op?

You not getting on the plane IS an option. You are choosing your husband over your child. It’s not a choice I would make.
is the country you are going to somewhere lovely and sunny with beaches? Would not getting on the plane suddenly be an option if his job was somewhere awful?

To be blunt you're placing your and your husband!s desires over the needs of your son here.

this isn't boarding school, and you won't be anywhere nearby.

Worries about impact on her marriage (which can’t be that healthy in the first place) but not so much with leaving her teen son who she describes as very sociable and “cheeky” - not exactly prime candidate for this level of independence at this age

I was just about to post the exact same thing!!!

All the other points are absolute rubbish.

I could have done it easily at 16 (did first leave home at 17) but that was the 70s when 16 yr olds were seen as adult and I was fiercely independent.

Could you see how it pans out for the first term with a promise to support whatever his choice is after that?