To ask if anyone has any experience of DC moving away for college (not uni)

Just because you never heard of any sordid stories or anything going wrong doesn't mean there wasn't.

Presumably your parents were still at home, you were still in the UK and your mother wasn't leaving you in one country and going to another to keep an firm hand on her husbands penis as he can't be trusted to leave it where it belongs

Again OP why are you only quoting and agreeing with certain posters - none of whom are doing what you're doing!

I’m from a rural area and it’s common to move away for what would be the equivalent of college here. There’s not a lot available locally so if you want to study something else, that’s your option.

Some people stayed in half boards, most just rent a bedroom. I started as soon as I turned 16, in my class alone there were another 3.

We never heard of any sordid stories or anyone going wrong. It was fine.

Fair point!

Point taken.

Hmm that's not necessarily true. For example a kid in Dover and parents in Calais are in a different country but less than 2 hours away. Kid in Durham and parents in Cornwall. Same country but takes much longer

And was the decision to do that made on the fact it was the best thing for him or because your husband has "issues with infidelity"?

Again different circumstances, I presume you are still in the uk? He is with family and you're not doing it so you can keep a tight leash on your husband who cannot keep his wandering hands to himself?

Child marriage is certainly no longer socially acceptable if that's what you mean.

My DS moved away to a specialist college after GCSEs. He stays with a host family during the week, but I would have been equally happy with a Halls environment . It’s been a massive success, he’s loved pursuing his studies in an area he’s passionate about. He’s coming to the end of his second year now and I have no regrets at all.

So now we have the truth OP do you still think leaving your 16 year old son in the UK whilst you go off abroad to supervise a grown man who has no respect for you or your marriage is the right decision..................

"I am so sorry darling but I will need to leave you here on your own because unfortunately your Father can't keep it in his pants"

I think your circumstances are different, was it right at the time, probably.

But OP is wanting to do this so she can be with her husband as she doesn't trust him.

Well we used to walk 100 miles to work and back uphill in both directions in a blizzard all year round and live off small pieces of coal but it doesn't mean it was OK

But what about the effect this will have on your 16 year old child? Fuck your husband! Your child is the one who matters. If your H has cheated in the past, he'll do it again, regardless of whether you're in the same country or not. Opportunities are always there.

I went to a rural college where staying in halls from 16 was fairly normal, due to the distance that most of the students would've had to travel and the time it would've taken. There, most of the students stayed at college at the weekends, but just went home for holidays. I have experience of working in a similar environment (but students went home at weekends).

At 16, they tend to have their own rooms (and sometimes en suites), but communal living areas. They have tiny kitchens for meals that they can warm up, but actual cooked meals are catered for by the college. There are wardens that they can go to if there are problems, or just for a chat. It's only once they are 18+ (and in different halls from the younger ones, due to safeguarding reasons) that they can choose between cooking their own food or eating in the college dining hall. There are some activities put on (e.g. trips to an ice rink, or just to the supermarket), but when they're 17, most start learning to drive and take their friends into town for takeaways and shopping trips.

Some years are full of fairly peaceful students. A couple of years ago, there was a rowdy lot that caused some damage in the accommodation. Their maturity levels tend to depend on their friends, but most seem to enjoy the "living independently, but with support".

Your clarification makes it even more obvious that you refuse to consider staying with your child because you don’t trust your husband.
He didn’t “struggle with infidelity” - he made a conscious decision to cheat on you and you’re worried that if he moves without you he’ll do it again. The thing stopping him from cheating shouldn’t be your constant presence.

Because boarding school is not the same thing.

This thread has been quite an eye-opener for me!

Especially the unanimity of responses saying he cannot or should not be left with only his 25 year old brother to look out for him as and when.

50 years ago I left home at 16 rented a bedsit and began commuting to my job in the City of London. My older sister married at 16 and did not work; she was home alone all day, responsible for the household budget, meals, etc whilst her 18 year old husband worked. My mum started work at 14.

Are children becoming less mature, dependent for longer?

I know a few people who boarded for sixth form, and three boys who went to Atlantic College for sixth form, in different countries. All were ok. I think it’s fine but only as long as your son is relatively mature for his age, has contact with his brother regularly and spends his hols with you.
I think boarding when younger can be really damaging but at 16 some people are fine. Lots of people start university at 17 in Scotland due to their different system and it seems to be fine for instance. You know how mature your son is and how much he is likely to need support, do you think he will cope in halls alone ?

I think a marriage takes work to keep things going.

You know what else takes work? Teenage kids.

I worry the impact of an extended period of separation.

Because you know he will probably meet someone else out there.

This is secondary to my main concern of what happens if has an episode whilst living alone and no one is there to call an ambulance.

I wouldn't worry about that, his mistress would ring an ambulance. And you know fine well that isn't your main concern.

There we have it.

OP I hate to break it to you, but if you don't trust him, you never will.
You cannot be with him 24 hours a day, if he is going to be unfaithful, he will, whether you are there or not.
As for the ambulance, pull the other one, it has bells on it

Well - personally I wouldn't be asking on here.

I'd be looking at what this specific college offers - visiting and asking quiestions - and thinking hard about how mature my 16 year old is - as it's so unquie to the college and child.

Then if I had specific questions that I wanted more general input on I'd ask on Further Eduation or Boareding schools boards not AIBU.

In similar situiation I think one of us would be staying with the kids till 18 or they'd go up to DGP for two years - but leaving them at 16 would be low down on our list of options.