To ask if anyone has any experience of DC moving away for college (not uni)

I think it’s awful you’re planning on leaving the country before your DS completes his A-levels. It’s interesting too that you mention he’ll fly out to you during holidays, etc - nothing about you flying back to visit him. Most 16 year old’s will want to spend time with their friends over the holidays, or be in a place for weeks where they don’t know anyone.

In effect, you’re abandoning your child to go with your DH because you’re worried he’ll be off with other women in your absence.

I'm not quite sure why you've asked if yabu when you've clearly made your mind up, you only agree with the very few who think it's OK.
I feel very sorry for your son who is having his Mum leave the country because his Dad likes to have affairs and needs supervising.

Back to the topic and I went to a residential college from the age of 16 - 19, I had the time of my life and loved every minute, I also got up to a lot of stuff that my parents never knew about, all of us regularly got very drunk and would be off out in someone's car to pubs and clubs.
I doubt very much times have changed.

I often went home for weekends and would've hated to think my parents were in another country, teens might not admit it but they really do need the security of having their parents nearby.

What would your son do for all the weeks over Easter, Christmas, Summer and half term holidays?

My DD left home at 16 for college but she was only a couple of hours drive away! I don't think I would have coped very well being out of the country but she would have been fine as everything went smoothly. The trouble is when things don't go smoothly and Mum isn't there to soothe the brow and hug it all better

Child marriage absolutely has been socially acceptable and still is in many countries but that's another story.

The definition of "child" in the UK has been under 18 for quite some time, hence why a 16 yo needed parental permission to get married, before the govt realised that children shouldn't be getting married.

There's also a big difference between a 16 yo who decides to move out, whilst having a secure base with parents if they need it, and the parents buggering off to a foreign country because hubby needs babysitting to keep him faithful, leaving a 16 yo with a choice of abandoning his education and social circle, or staying alone.

To be fair it doesn't sound like he "struggled" with infidelity at all!

I think it's pretty clear that the OP is just going to bury her head in the sand and pretend that her 16 year old son can't wait to be left alone.

He'll get into absolutely no trouble at all (obviously he'll be completely honest with her if he does though as 16 year olds are known for their honesty!).

OP will insist it's no different to kids in boarding school (it is nothing like - kids in boarding school are basically parented. Plus they get to go home at weekends, bank holidays, half term etc), no different to kids going to rural colleges (their choice, their parents aren't fucking off and leaving them) and that if anything goes wrong, she will put him on the first flight to where she is, moving him away from all his friends and everything he knows (and his brother who he is allegedly very close to).

Purely because she doesn't trust her husband to keep it in his pants.

Struggled with infidelity..........
Its a choice! Not a struggle.
Have some respect for yourself

Parent your child, not your husband.

If you all are all dead set on this he needs to be living with family/friends or boarding so there will be adequate supervision. I think you are underestimating how much your cheeky chappy will be able to hide from you while you're abroad.

How many times have you needed to call an ambulance in the last 12 months? I assume you're not with him 24 hours a day so what currently happens when he becomes unwell and you're not home?

You are going to keep an eye on your H who you can't trust to keep his dick in his pants. Rather than caring for your son.

I wouldn't do this.

I had friends who stayed in the Uk boarding while parents wokred overseas and they all - without exception - got into enormous trouble. drugs/ partying/ nobody watching over them on weekends etc.

Lots of people start university at 17 in Scotland due to their different system and it seems to be fine for instance.

Most people who go to Uni from 5th year are students who live at home for the first year at least. I was at Glasgow Uni along time ago and the Glaswegians were all 16/17 but the students in Halls were all older and noticably more mature, a year ir two makes a big difference at that age. I did know one girl in our Halls who was just 16 and she went completely off the rails without parental supervision.

*edited as.i missed the OP update there has been infidelity - I thought that was conjecture by other posters!

OP Peter Simmons in Hampshire is a state sixth form with boarding

Or perhaps telling her cheating DH to leave and focussing on herself and her son might be an even better option?

I’m not sure it’s entirely relevant but DH has struggled with infidelity in the past.

oh it’s relevant op

Can he do English system A levels where you're going? If not then it would be a terrible idea for him to move and really affect his uni options.

Perhaps a more traditional boarding school set up with a sixth form would be better and offer a bit more support and supervision?

No, just continuously insisting her 16 year old wants nothing more than to be kicked out of his home and away from everything he knows whilst his parents fuck off to another country.

As for trying to justify it by comparing it to going to rural colleges etc, hilarious. Those are paths that those kids have chosen. And the parents are most likely in the same country so they can go home for bank holidays, half term etc.

This is two parents who obviously have an unhealthy relationship with cheating issues who are putting that above their child.

Child marriage was never acceptable. But the meaning of 'child' has changed. That is the point @whatswrongwivme is making.

Yes, in our society young people are generally less mature and are dependent for longer, compared to 50 or 100 years ago.
This is due to changes in upbringing and society, not any biological change in the young people themselves.
Which means that a 16 year old who has been raised to be responsible and independent will usually meet those expectations, whereas a 16 year old who has been over-protected and sheltered and had few responsibilities will be very immature by comparison.

I see nothing wrong with OP's plan for her son to live away from home to study at age 16.

I would just add in that my dd was very high performing at gcse and coped well with that but I have been really surprised how tough she's found the transition to A levels and how much emotional support she's needed from me the first year of sixth form.

Ah right ok that makes sense!

Same username pattern for all those threads that start “to think that…[insert controversial opinion]” then disappear.

I imagine because facing reality isn't a particular strength

Its when new members join they can get a randomly generated UN and they follow that pattern
It can be a good way to spot new users though and their first posts

It just seems really sad your child has 2 years of ‘childhood’ left (I appreciate it’s not childhood in the younger sense, but it’s not entirely over!) and your DH is choosing this. My DH has just turned down a promotion because it would mean needing to move either the whole family, or just him, to another part of the country. Our eldest is 15 and our priority right now is ensuring their stability as they finish school, and enjoying these last years as a ‘young’ family. I think it’s a very selfish decision, you haven’t got long left.

I've just posted this on another thread too but, has anybody else noticed some of these usernames that seem to all be very similar at the moment?

CosyNavyLeader
AmpleDenimDreamer
GutsyPeachExpert

Are just a few from today and yesterday with the exact same setup (description, colour, noun) and no previous posts or comments.... ?

Seems a bit off.....