Page 2 | Loving a day to myself to catch up on work while on holiday with my family

gmfh · 2025-04-03T07:40:56+00:00

We are currently away on holidays and I am spending a blissful day in our airbnb by myself just catching up on work. Dh has taken the kids out for the day. It's so lovely not to have the noise, the demands, having to keep everyone happy. And yes, I have to do work - marking at that so not the most fun of jobs. Does anyone else enjoy just getting away from their family while on holidays?

Original poster

gmfh · 03/04/2025 10:34

So because Dh has insomnia, he's taken sleeping pills for sleep for the last 15years - so he actually isnt awake at night but is groggy and out of it if he does have to wake up in the middle of the night. I've always done the nights. The kids' sleep is usually ok at home but when they are away, they insist on sleeping in my bed because they are scared in new places.

OP posts:

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 10:32

StellaAndCrow · 03/04/2025 10:30

If DH has insomnia, wouldn't it make sense for him to deal with any kids who are awake during the night, rather than you both being awake?

I'm glad you got to spend some time by yourself at least, even if you did have to use it to work. Hope you're able to enjoy some holiday xx

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Well he’s also with them for the daytime too

StellaAndCrow · 03/04/2025 10:30

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:30

The being touched out is because Dh has insomnia so doesnt sleep very well, as a result anytime kids are awake in the night which they are given the nine hours difference, it's on me. So I havent had a proper night sleep for three days now, the kids are more moan and difficult than usual as they arent used to the food, the place, the time zone.

If DH has insomnia, wouldn't it make sense for him to deal with any kids who are awake during the night, rather than you both being awake?

I'm glad you got to spend some time by yourself at least, even if you did have to use it to work. Hope you're able to enjoy some holiday xx

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 10:30

Seriously op … at 5 and 7 you shouldn’t be describing life as you do. Sounds more like 1 and 3.
sort the sleep
stop going to the other side of the world
Sort your marriage

Original poster

gmfh · 03/04/2025 10:28

Am awake enough to mark my students' essays - I get sleep just broken sleep while being kicked by two little kids ;-)

We do plenty of Eurocamp style holidays though even then my kids never leave us alone so whilst it's closer, it's not like I get to sit down by the pool and read a book. I have to watch, get involved and cheers them on 24/7. At home, my kids do actually occupy themselves but on holiday they want our full attention the whole time.

OP posts:

talkingheadz · 03/04/2025 10:24

Marking after 3 days without proper sleep! Glad you're not marking my work tbh 😕

Maray1967 · 03/04/2025 10:17

Why on earth are you doing holidays on the other side of the world with young kids who don’t like the food?!! At that age we took ours to eurocamp in France or various places in Austria. The food is similar and there’s no jet lag. You’re making things difficult for yourself. And yes, I’ve done some work on holidays, although never marking as I loath it, so I understand that.

Elunajeya · 03/04/2025 10:07

It’s a DH problem. At home, you can skirt around each other, and not face the problems. On holiday, you’re together 24/7 and you’ve nowhere to hide from it. He’s sulky and you’ve hidden away for the day, already.

I’ve been there with an ex, it was the awful holidays that made me finally realised we were just not compatible.

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 10:05

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:59

Maybe am doing holidays with the family all wrong but I've honestly never really felt relaxed or refreshed after ours. I mean it's just full on 24/7 child entertainment in different surroundings where kids are more likely to find things more difficult and alien, struggle to eat foreign foods, more travel and usually less sleep. Yes, it's interesting to go to new places and I dont want to stop travelling just because we have kids, but relaxing? Do people really come back from holidays with kids refreshed? Plus yes our relationship isnt all that great and at home we just get on with the tasks and maybe that does mask it a bit more.

But op your problem is not your kids

it is fact you are happier working than with your husband

and your husband is happier with you working that with him and the children

Original poster

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:59

Maybe am doing holidays with the family all wrong but I've honestly never really felt relaxed or refreshed after ours. I mean it's just full on 24/7 child entertainment in different surroundings where kids are more likely to find things more difficult and alien, struggle to eat foreign foods, more travel and usually less sleep. Yes, it's interesting to go to new places and I dont want to stop travelling just because we have kids, but relaxing? Do people really come back from holidays with kids refreshed? Plus yes our relationship isnt all that great and at home we just get on with the tasks and maybe that does mask it a bit more.

OP posts:

OfficerChurlish · 03/04/2025 09:47

I completely get working while on holiday - after all, if you were a completely financially stable freelance poet or artist or journalist, few would question that you suddenly felt the urge/need/inspiration to write or paint. In a job where you work for someone else, people are more inclined to wonder if you might be exploited - "oh, poor thing - surely you can tell your boss NO for one week!??!" But it's not always that simple, and often has nothing to do with a boss who would very likely say, "yes, go, disconnect - see you in a week!" You may need or want to work for any number of reasons; only you know if that's right and necessary for you or not. If you do need to work on holiday, my advice would be take advantage of the quiet and privacy to work hard, so when your family are back you can completely focus on them, because that's a big part of a holiday too.

However, this: catching up on work is the only time I can get a legitimate break feels bad. A holiday should be time to unwind - for you and for your husband. That's the main reason why people DO say "don't work on holiday - take a real/full break". (Don't underestimate that until you've tried it). If either of you needs time alone as part of the holiday, the other should be willing to facilitate that, knowing that it'll be reciprocal. It may take some discussion to figure it out, but it's worth it. If that discussion somehow can't happen, then I think you have more of an issue with your relationship, which is manifesting right now as a holiday issue but perhaps goes a lot deeper than that.

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/04/2025 09:30

I feel really sad for you OP that you see marking as having a break 😔 Your husband needs to pull his weight more so this isn’t the case

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 09:30

Ok so this isn’t a happy marriage OP
You are preferring to work rather than be on holiday with your family
and your DH is preferring you to work and for him to be alone with the children

Original poster

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:30

The being touched out is because Dh has insomnia so doesnt sleep very well, as a result anytime kids are awake in the night which they are given the nine hours difference, it's on me. So I havent had a proper night sleep for three days now, the kids are more moan and difficult than usual as they arent used to the food, the place, the time zone.

OP posts:

Original poster

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:28

Oh no he sulks because he usually does when it's the four of us together. The sulking is pretty normal. I actually thinks he finds it easier managing the kids without me and vice versa. As some single parents say - it's just easier to get on with it rather than having to negotiate everything with another adult.

OP posts:

phoenixrosehere · 03/04/2025 09:27

its2025 · 03/04/2025 09:12

But you're not on a legitimate break though - you're working!

I can totally understand having a little break to go to the spa - have a quite solo walk or swim or something - but I would feel annoyed if i had to work on a family holiday.

Honestly if I were your partner I might also feel a bit resentful that you were taking time out of a family break to work.

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I’d be asking why and helping my spouse instead of being resentful especially if they’re touched out and constantly being asked for things when you’re right there.

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 09:24

Is he sulking because you’re working and he’s spending day alone with the children that you say are moany and arguing all day?

Original poster

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:22

Yes, maybe it's the type of holiday. We travelled to the other side of the world and there is no kids club. It's basically exploring and sightseeing the minute we get up and leave our airbnb....which is great, but does mean that once the kids are up, it's full on. Dh is usually great with the kids, but we have a completely different approach to parenting and clash whenever we do things together. At home, with work and all the clubs, it's usually one in, one out, so in practice we dont spend so much time together as a couple.

OP posts:

ToddlerMumma · 03/04/2025 09:19

I’m not sure I’d like to work on holiday but I certainly need a break from my very energetic, demanding children! Mine are also 7 & 5 so we go to places with a lot of kids club time 😆 I get to relax then. Maybe even read a book in peace, lovely!

Spiaggio · 03/04/2025 09:17

GCAcademic · 03/04/2025 09:11

As someone who marks university-level work, I can't think of anything worse to do on holiday. Things must be pretty bad if this is preferable to family time (and it does sound like they are from your updates, so I say this sympathetically).

Oh, I don’t know, the odd exam howler can cheer things up. I’m still amused by Virginia Woolf having invented the ‘inferior monologue’.😀

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 09:16

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:15

I mean to be fair, as an academic most people I know carry on working over their holidays. I have also been able to go away when it was convenient for Dh and the kids - but the trade off is that I have work to do. So it's either doing it in the evening when everyone is gone to bed or having a day off to do it.

And given the type of holiday you describe, I’d be doing anything and very thing to avoid being with my dh

what is your dh like with your kids?

is he sulky because you’re working all day whilst on holiday?

Original poster

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:15

I mean to be fair, as an academic most people I know carry on working over their holidays. I have also been able to go away when it was convenient for Dh and the kids - but the trade off is that I have work to do. So it's either doing it in the evening when everyone is gone to bed or having a day off to do it.

OP posts:

TartanMammy · 03/04/2025 09:13

No, I don't work on holiday. I'm very boundaried between my work and home life so that both my employer and children can get the most of me.

But if it works for you, then that's great. It would stress me out.

its2025 · 03/04/2025 09:12

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:06

Well catching up on work is the only time I can get a legitimate break. The kids are more moany because of jetlag and as they end up in bed with me while DH sleeps by himself am also a bit touched out with everyone constantly needing something from me.

But you're not on a legitimate break though - you're working!

I can totally understand having a little break to go to the spa - have a quite solo walk or swim or something - but I would feel annoyed if i had to work on a family holiday.

Honestly if I were your partner I might also feel a bit resentful that you were taking time out of a family break to work.

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 09:12

GCAcademic · 03/04/2025 09:11

As someone who marks university-level work, I can't think of anything worse to do on holiday. Things must be pretty bad if this is preferable to family time (and it does sound like they are from your updates, so I say this sympathetically).

Given the updates, they do seem to be pretty bad