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AIBU?

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Original poster

Loving a day to myself to catch up on work while on holiday with my family

67 replies

gmfh · 03/04/2025 08:40

We are currently away on holidays and I am spending a blissful day in our airbnb by myself just catching up on work. Dh has taken the kids out for the day. It's so lovely not to have the noise, the demands, having to keep everyone happy. And yes, I have to do work - marking at that so not the most fun of jobs. Does anyone else enjoy just getting away from their family while on holidays?

OP posts:
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Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 19:21

This all sounds quite depressing for everyone op.

why bother with expensive holidays to exotic places if you’re squirrelled away working and your kids aren’t enjoying

HouseMouseHouse · 03/04/2025 17:01

I mean, if you really can’t bear to spend time as a family, why not spend the day with one child each parent? It’s really sad that you don’t want to spend your holiday time with your young children.

HouseMouseHouse · 03/04/2025 16:55

My kids do enjoy travelling - they just need me/us to be pretty involved with them. Kids enjoying holidays is still kids needing their parents attention, no?

But you don’t want to spend the time with your kids on holiday, you’d rather be working on your own.

And you have mentioned many reasons why the holiday you have chosen doesn’t suit your children.

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 12:00

Will your dh get a day to himself?

YouveGotAFastCar · 03/04/2025 11:38

Your marriage sounds pretty dead, to be honest. I’m not sure I could live with it, but if you can (albeit in a way that’s set up so you pass like ships in the night so you don’t spend any time together), maybe just stop travelling together; or doing anything that changes that status quo?

MarkWithaC · 03/04/2025 11:34

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:28

Oh no he sulks because he usually does when it's the four of us together. The sulking is pretty normal. I actually thinks he finds it easier managing the kids without me and vice versa. As some single parents say - it's just easier to get on with it rather than having to negotiate everything with another adult.

Why is he snappy and sulky by default when he's with his family? He sounds either unhappy or controlling, or maybe both. Either way, I think it needs to change. If I were you in the situation, I would rather hide away and get on with some work as well!

SeventeenClovesOfGarlic · 03/04/2025 11:31

Why are your kids aged 7 and 5 kicking you?
Sounds like the marriage is dead, neither of you like the other one and the man sulks and snaps, which is not a good environment for children.

Cotonsugar · 03/04/2025 11:27

gmfh · 03/04/2025 08:58

kids are 5 and 7 so past the toddler stage but honestly between managing the two of them and DH, it's so nice just to get on with my stuff. Maybe am the odd one in feeling this way.

You’re not. I used to enjoy it when my partner used to take the kids off to the beach and leave me to it in whatever villa we were staying in. It only happened once or twice while we were there but it was great to get some quiet time to read or paint or whatever hobby I was into. Enjoy😊

Starlight1984 · 03/04/2025 11:25

gmfh · 03/04/2025 11:16

Yes, they both go to a private school so we have longer holidays than state schools, which was one of the reason for going long-haul - in theory they should have a bit of time to get used to the jetlag and the time difference.

Ok fair enough. But still think that maybe you need to knock these holidays on the head whilst you and your husband are not in a good place as you don't actually seem to want to spend any time together so surely flying around the world to just be miserable somewhere else (at a massive expense) is completely pointless?

Ddakji · 03/04/2025 11:21

Starlight1984 · 03/04/2025 11:11

Can I ask why the kids aren't in school (not judging just curious if they are 5 and 7!)?

Show quote history

Some schools, both private and state, broke up on Friday.

Original poster
gmfh · 03/04/2025 11:16

Yes, they both go to a private school so we have longer holidays than state schools, which was one of the reason for going long-haul - in theory they should have a bit of time to get used to the jetlag and the time difference.

OP posts:
Wexone · 03/04/2025 11:15

i agree with you - my dream would be to jet off a few days before my husband does, on my own to have juts a couple of days in the sun all by myself. I wouldn't even leave the hotel, just lie by the pool all by myself no one annoying me or pulling out of me

Starlight1984 · 03/04/2025 11:12

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 11:11

Private
my son broke up on Friday

Show quote history

Ah right ok.

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 11:11

Starlight1984 · 03/04/2025 11:11

Can I ask why the kids aren't in school (not judging just curious if they are 5 and 7!)?

Show quote history

Private
my son broke up on Friday

Starlight1984 · 03/04/2025 11:11

gmfh · 03/04/2025 11:07

My kids do enjoy travelling - they just need me/us to be pretty involved with them. Kids enjoying holidays is still kids needing their parents attention, no?

Agreed that the problem is probably DH and I than the kids.

Can I ask why the kids aren't in school (not judging just curious if they are 5 and 7!)?

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 11:09

gmfh · 03/04/2025 11:07

My kids do enjoy travelling - they just need me/us to be pretty involved with them. Kids enjoying holidays is still kids needing their parents attention, no?

Agreed that the problem is probably DH and I than the kids.

Yes but kids needing our attention at 5 and 7 isn’t generally a 24 hour slog of problems

Original poster
gmfh · 03/04/2025 11:07

My kids do enjoy travelling - they just need me/us to be pretty involved with them. Kids enjoying holidays is still kids needing their parents attention, no?

Agreed that the problem is probably DH and I than the kids.

OP posts:
HouseMouseHouse · 03/04/2025 11:00

Wouldn’t it be a better idea to plan holidays your children will enjoy?

Ddakji · 03/04/2025 10:56

This doesn’t sound like a particularly happy or functional set up, to be honest - and I do understand what you mean about it being harder when there’s two of you, but this sounds beyond that.

I also really don’t think that having insomnia means you don’t ever do a single night with the children. Frankly, that sounds like he’s being lazy and it’s an excuse.

Bbq1 · 03/04/2025 10:53

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/04/2025 09:30

I feel really sad for you OP that you see marking as having a break 😔 Your husband needs to pull his weight more so this isn’t the case

The husband has taken the kids out for the day! I think that's pulling his weight.

Starlight1984 · 03/04/2025 10:52

Maray1967 · 03/04/2025 10:17

Why on earth are you doing holidays on the other side of the world with young kids who don’t like the food?!! At that age we took ours to eurocamp in France or various places in Austria. The food is similar and there’s no jet lag. You’re making things difficult for yourself. And yes, I’ve done some work on holidays, although never marking as I loath it, so I understand that.

I've just said pretty much the same. @gmfh I can't understand why you would fly to the other side of the world when you say you and your husband never get on when you're on holiday and you would rather be alone working?!

the kids are more moan and difficult than usual as they aren't used to the food, the place, the time zone.

Everybody sounds completely miserable. What a waste.

alcoholnightmare · 03/04/2025 10:51

Enjoy @gmfh… my ex and I are taking our boys 6,5,5 on holiday tomorrow. I’ve booked the Butlin’s style hotel, he’s booked the 5* with infinity pool up the road. He’s already offered that we swap for a couple of days so I get a break too.
Holidays are supposed to be a break…. good for you

Bbq1 · 03/04/2025 10:49

gmfh · 03/04/2025 09:03

to be fair, it's uni work so a bit more cerebral but at least I dont have two kids constantly moaning at things being the wrong way and Dh constantly snapping and sulking at me.

So the problem is dh really? Why is moaning and sulking? Where has he taken the kids? I don't want time away from my ds and dg on holiday. We go to spend time together. Being happy to be apart from them and happier working is really odd.

Starlight1984 · 03/04/2025 10:48

Yeah I've got to be honest if your relationship isn't great, neither you or your DH enjoy being on holiday together, nobody sleeps well and the kids are demanding of your attention 24/7, I'm not entirely sure why you would keep booking holidays... Especially flying to the other side of the world...

Is anyone enjoying it at all?

Bloompetal · 03/04/2025 10:36

gmfh · 03/04/2025 10:34

So because Dh has insomnia, he's taken sleeping pills for sleep for the last 15years - so he actually isnt awake at night but is groggy and out of it if he does have to wake up in the middle of the night. I've always done the nights. The kids' sleep is usually ok at home but when they are away, they insist on sleeping in my bed because they are scared in new places.

So stop taking them to the other side of the world

it is almost as though you are trying to make life hard