New thread- Told DP I was upset by SKs' behaviours

Well done for not giving in to his nonsense. Be prepared for the next message which may well go along the lines of " We were so happy with you and they didn't realise how much you were upset by their behaviour. They hate it here and are so unhappy, if you let us back then it will be different"...at which point you laugh like a drain and block the lying fucker.

Be interesting if he gets his act together to rent/buy his own property to house his own children if he will continue to allow snot and sweet spreadage when it’s his deposit or new carpet/furniture being trashed.

I doubt OP would ever find out, but it would be interesting.

Totally agree with those saying he is panicking and now pressing harder on manipulation. It’s all bullshit - all about him. Talk of an apology but not giving one.

At this point he is simply noise. I’d ignore now. And you can mute his messages so you can read them when you choose rather than when he sends them.

You’re doing brilliantly- stay strong! 🌻

@innersilentscreams ‘I always apologise when you’re upset’.
Because saying sorry you’re upset is so much easier than NOT ALLOWING MY SNOTTY FERAL BRATS TO UPSET YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Well done Mummy better late than never!

I think he absolutely believes his version of event. In his head, obviously he apologised at the time because he always apologises when you’re an irrational over emotional woman he needs to calm down upset. Because he’s the reasonable one.

And obviously you told him to go because he wouldn’t storm out in a huff; you were the one being irrational and reasonable while he removed himself from the situation to give you space. Because that’s what a reasonable and mature bloke would do in the face of his partner being hysterical over nothing.

He’s so convinced he’s right and reasonable that he’s making the recollections fit his narrative of ‘over-emotional unreasonable but loveable you’ and ‘manly, mature, rational him’. I’m sure he thinks you’re lucky to have him.

They love to believe their own bullshit. That doesn’t mean we have to.

Stay strong.

He's awful.

And he's getting desperate to move out of his parents. But he's still not said "sorry about the kids. They're behaviour is disgraceful. I need to work much harder to improve it"... or anything even close.

Absolutely! He's at the Find Out stage of 'Fuck About Find Out' and is panicking because his previous, normally successful, techniques aren't working any more.

You know now that any previous apologies were fake and pointless as he has never made any effort to ensure that his kids treat you and your home/belongings with respect.

It really doesn't matter what he messages you now. What you have to remember is how shit he continually made you feel when you were together and his anger when you told him how you felt. Remember your feelings, not his words

Yes, what NeverDropYourMooncup said. He should be grovelling and telling you what he's doing to address the behaviours that are upsetting you.
You're doing the right thing getting rid of him.

Is there something stopping you from packing up his shit and taking it to his parents?

As the Queen said … recollections may vary!

He’s fully gaslighting. Don’t listen. You have a record of what was said in your original post.

I still don't see an apology in there.

I still don't see him acknowledging that the behaviour of his children needs addressing.

I still don't see anything except him needing to be right and you to accept you were wrong.

You're being very restrained! At this point I would be saying "fuck off and never contact me again", or words to that effect...

All of this.

Brilliant summary 👏

Don't let him play tricks on you. He wants to meet up to muddle you and worm.his way back in. Horrible bloke.

Be prepared for him to be an absolute twat over the financial stuff. Have you taken your share from the joint account yet?

Oh course he’s gaslighting and in full DARVO mode.

His messages just read as ‘me me me me me me me me me me’

Its entirely predictable behaviour to reel you back in

The wanker is panicking.

'I didn't walk out on you, I left because you said yes when I offered, it's as simple as that. If you'd said you didn't want me to move out, I'd have seen you that night after dropping the boys back at their mum's.'

I never expected you to call my bluff when I threatened you. If you'd have known your place and grovelled in an appropriate manner, I'd have come back and carried on as usual whilst you scrubbed the snot off the sofa (and cat) and then gave me an apology blowjob.

'I didn't make you "wait" for an apology, I've been waiitng a few days because it seemed you needed space and time to think. I've been messaging you a little bit to let you know that I still love you and am thinking about you.'

You're taking too long to remember your place and I started messaging because I'm getting worried that you're being stupid and taking away my free house, sex, food, snot cleaning and childcare service.

'I'm 99.99% certain I apologised on Sun morning when you were getting upset again and saying all the stuff, cos I always say sorry when you're upset.'

Stop being such a stupid emotional woman and let me back into my free house.

Exactly - the focus is on denying his own culpability and trying to prove you were being unreasonable. He will use any trick he can because it's the Easter holidays now and he must be desperate to get back under your roof and restore the status quo. Fuck that.

Anyone decent would have taken on board what you were saying (long ago) and be focusing on trying to reassure you that he's spoken to the kids, xyz is going to be put in place etc etc. NOT that we'd believe a word even if that was the case, obvs.

He had plenty of chances. You've chosen not to give him any more, so don't engage and don't question your own mind. 🤜

He's absolutely gaslighting you. He's probably also pissed off at the growing realisation that you're not going to give in this time.