Page 2 | To think that parents who don’t control their kids in public deserve public shaming?

MyEdgyAmberZebra · 2025-04-02T21:08:58+00:00

If your child is throwing a screaming tantrum in a restaurant, I shouldn’t have to “be understanding” - I should be able to tell you to sort it out.

Bluemoonbluebell · 03/04/2025 20:11

All that is good parenting of course, @MaggieMistletoe, but the fact remains some children are easier to manage than others. With something like neurodiversity things can be much more difficult, and it’s often a hidden disability so others just don’t realise.

LittleBigHead · 03/04/2025 20:10

Other countries, especially in and around Mediterranean are much more accepting of kids in general.

Well behaved children.

And there’s a more general acceptance that it’s ok for adults other than a child’s parents to discipline children iif they misbehave.

In the UK, the minority of parents take the freedom to go wherever they want and allow their DC to misbehave, but don’t allow other adults the freedom to discipline or otherwise intervene when children misbehave.

We get the worst of both ways.

MaggieMistletoe · 03/04/2025 20:03

Yes I agree. And having had 5 - all vastly different in terms of personality, temprement, needs etc - I truly think most tantrums could be avoided before they even occur by proper parenting. I'm talking about things like sleep, diet, screens (should be close to zero), fresh air & exercise, good behaviour modelled to them, decent amount of positive attention and quality time, not a rushed and overestimated life with too much nursery, TV and activities, discipline, boundaries, consequences and follow-through, patience, engaging, not being distracted by your own screen addiction so you miss where things are leading and finally don't fill your toddlers life with bloody coffee shops.

AnnieRose24 · 03/04/2025 19:14

TheHerboriste · 03/04/2025 16:50

This is absolute, utter bullshit.

We weren't taken out until we learned to eat properly, sit at table, converse quietly etc. at home, at nursery, at the homes of relatives. You don't need to inflict unruly kids on the general public in order to train them in proper behaviour.

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Yet, as an adult, you can’t control your impulse to swear or you choose to use abusive language. Is this considered proper behaviour at your dinner table and the homes of your relatives?

AnnieRose24 · 03/04/2025 19:11

Muttley17 · 03/04/2025 16:57

My child has grown up to be a pleasant young adult but as a young child was prone to meltdowns on the bus home from a big shop. (Single mum, a 3yr old, half a dozen bags in tow that I’d lugged from the supermarket half a mile to the bus station and ready to cry myself) An old lady sat near to me on the bus actually gave a loud tut. My response, “any suggestions?” Clearly OP has either no children or little darlings

Mine too - I remember those shopping trips on the bus and all the carrier bags.

Kuttbr · 03/04/2025 19:06

I completely agree OP

Bluemoonbluebell · 03/04/2025 18:46

LittleBigHead · 03/04/2025 15:21

It's pretty simple to bundle up a child and take them outside to let them calm down.

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My child (autistic) is about a foot taller than me now. Not so easy to bundle up 😅

MissyB1 · 03/04/2025 18:14

spicemaiden · 02/04/2025 22:23

Sometimes ignoring a tantrum is the best possible thing you can do.

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Not if it's in a restaurant /the cinema/ or any other public space where other people are trying to enjoy a treat.

Americano75 · 03/04/2025 18:10

Mine are older now but the toddler and baby years with my son were so horrific I simply ignore it if a small child is kicking off. Walked more than a mile in those shoes.

Screamingabdabz · 03/04/2025 18:06

Fancycheese · 03/04/2025 13:47

To all the self righteous perfect parents (and the lone dog owner) who have piled on here to whinge about other people’s kids, do you really think shaming the parents for your perception of bad parenting is the solution?

Yes there are annoying kids and shit parents everywhere. But there are also really badly behaved adults in so-called “adult spaces” (what are these, incidentally? Casinos? Bars? Over priced coffee shops?). What’s the answer?

You don’t actually have a solution here, you just like feeling superior and better than other people. Just as insufferable in my opinion as the parent scrolling on their phone as their kids rain down hell.

Hit a nerve? Just parent your kids. Everyone wins.

Stagshear · 03/04/2025 18:01

skipdiddyskip · 03/04/2025 17:50

@Stagshearthanks for sharing your opinion. Tantrums are biologically normal, that should be noted. Are you on TikTok by any chance? “Anti-child” sentiment is kind of trending over there so I guess you’re jumping on that?

No, I am not on TikTok. Telling though that you think that not allowing kids to run riot is some sort of bizarre trend…

skipdiddyskip · 03/04/2025 17:50

@Stagshearthanks for sharing your opinion. Tantrums are biologically normal, that should be noted. Are you on TikTok by any chance? “Anti-child” sentiment is kind of trending over there so I guess you’re jumping on that?

Stagshear · 03/04/2025 17:45

This reply has been deleted

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skipdiddyskip · 03/04/2025 17:39

The last time my child did this a lovely older woman came over and reassured me that no one minded, that we’d all been there (as I was trying in vein to calm her down). I like that energy, it’s kind and understanding through circumstances which are ultimately out of my control. It was also an uncommon enough occurrence that dd stopped immediately to see what this stranger was saying to mummy. Women supporting women 💪

LlynTegid · 03/04/2025 17:38

If a parent makes an effort to get their child to be quiet and behave, I will be understanding and sympathetic. If they don't, I will be not.

Mnn · 03/04/2025 17:38

swimlyn · 03/04/2025 17:33

"...total abdication of responsibility..."

Oh God yes. So common nowadays.

Lots of posters here seem to be supporting it though...

I think there's a spectrum and there is a lot of negative sentiment towards children in public in Britain and a lower tolerance for children being children - they are not creatures of reason and can have tantrums unpredictability

Of course kids shouldn't be left to run amok but some tolerance would be kind when the vast majority of parents will already be mortified and worried about being judged

PlasticPassion · 03/04/2025 17:36

You can tell them to sort it out, what’s to stop you?

Mnn · 03/04/2025 17:36

TheHerboriste · 03/04/2025 17:33

Correct.
Or take someone along, or have someone watch the kid at home.

It's wrong to let kids run wild, at the expense of others, no matter what the excuse.

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There's a difference between 'running wild' and having a tantrum no?

So nobody who is disabled can ever take their kid out without a carer? Not sure that's going to help their kids socialisation and behaviour

TheHerboriste · 03/04/2025 17:34

Fancycheese · 03/04/2025 17:16

Shouldn’t they? Oh dear. Does the hospital accept returns?

im sure you equally frown upon kids on screens out in public as well. I think the solution might be mind your own business and try to enjoy the company you’re with.

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It's hard to mind one's own business with 90-decibel shrieks in one's ear, and kids racing around a restaurant as though it's an obstacle course.

Some people have such incredibly low standards.

swimlyn · 03/04/2025 17:33

"...total abdication of responsibility..."

Oh God yes. So common nowadays.

Lots of posters here seem to be supporting it though...

TheHerboriste · 03/04/2025 17:33

Mnn · 03/04/2025 17:32

So no one who lacks the physical ability to restrain and carry their toddler should ever go out in public?

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Correct.
Or take someone along, or have someone watch the kid at home.

It's wrong to let kids run wild, at the expense of others, no matter what the excuse.

Mnn · 03/04/2025 17:32

Stagshear · 03/04/2025 16:49

Then you shouldn’t be going to discretionary public places like cafes and restaurants. If you can’t manage your kid, don’t make it my problem.

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So no one who lacks the physical ability to restrain and carry their toddler should ever go out in public?

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 03/04/2025 17:25

Writerbiter · 02/04/2025 22:20

I keep a massive bell in my bag at all times just so I can ring it every time I see disobedience from children or insufficient control from parents.

🤣👌

RedToothBrush · 03/04/2025 17:18

Put them in the stocks on a Friday evening and pelt them with rotten veg.

That'd sort out the problem quick.

Neemie · 03/04/2025 17:16

I eat out a lot and I have never been in a restaurant where a child is having a screaming tantrum that the parents don’t swiftly sort out.

You need to go to ‘well behaved children welcome’ places, rather than ‘family friendly’. You aren’t choosing your restaurants wisely.