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Disagreement with DH over whether to move house - views/inspiration needed!

41 replies

FlynnJ · 02/04/2025 17:53

Hi all, I’ve seen some similar threads before with really useful advice so thought I’d try my luck myself!

Here’s my current situation:

-live in compact 3 bed detached house with DH and DS (1yo)
-In a decent area close to family, shops, schools etc.
-brought as our first home in late 2019 with a view to moving a few years later to somewhere bigger.

Currently:

-DH of view we’ve outgrown or nearly outgrown the house - wants to move
-Main gripes are lack of living space downstairs and lack of storage space upstairs.
-I’m in agreement but love the house and area and would want to stay here if it could be made suitable

Finances:

-House has been valued and gone up 50/60k (at least) since we brought it
-To move somewhere slightly bigger (e.g more living space and bigger sized bedrooms, we’d be paying up to £80/90k more than what we’d get for this house plus fees. Location would be similar. A 4 bed (the ideal incase we have another DC) is out of reach financially for now.
-We are willing to take out an extra c.£50k on our Mortgage and have a similar amount in savings we can also use.

Current house:

-DH doesn’t believe extending would be financially viable (feels we’d be better off moving) but has said he’s open to ideas.
-We can’t extend to the side (garage is separate to the house by the drive at the front)
-We have a reasonable length garden and could probably extend out by up to 2.5metres and this would still be a good size.
-Landing area is very small
-Floor plan attached

Has anyone been in a similar situation or got any thoughts on improvements to the current house I could suggest to DH? We thought we’d easily
move after a few years but prices have gotten silly.

Thanks!

Disagreement with DH over whether to move house - views/inspiration needed!
OP posts:
YoungSoak · 02/04/2025 21:01

I think if I was in your position I would probably look to move to a larger three bed with potential to do a loft conversion down the line if you end up having another DC.

It sounds like you want to move so you could do all the work and still want a different house, happens all the time. Have you had a look to see what you could get for your money if you moved?

Newgirls · 02/04/2025 21:00

Move. Doing the loft won’t give you more day to day living space. You might need to move further out but worth it surely. Teens take up even more space believe me!

FlynnJ · 02/04/2025 20:59

RandomMess · 02/04/2025 20:58

Find out if the wall is a supporting one and reconfigure the downstairs if it isn’t.

Ours wasn’t despite it being brick.

Do you mean just knock down and open it up?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 02/04/2025 20:58

Find out if the wall is a supporting one and reconfigure the downstairs if it isn’t.

Ours wasn’t despite it being brick.

YoungSoak · 02/04/2025 20:57

My friend has a similar house to yours. They have done a loft conversion and taken the wall between the kitchen and living room down so it’s open plan downstairs. It still feels small to them downstairs as they have three small kids so they intend to do a single storey extension next. Their house has probably gone up at least 200k since they bought it so not likely to lose money if they sell

FlynnJ · 02/04/2025 20:42

Thanks all, just on a couple of points above;

-re. need for living space, we can’t comfortably fit a dining table - we have a small one pushed against the wall in the kitchen but it’s really squashed when 4 people are seated at it. That’s the main annoyance and makes hosting challenging.

-Doing anything to the garage is out of the question really, it’s attached to another neighbours garage. Potentially it could be converted to an office (one of us works from home mostly) but unsure if that’s costly.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 02/04/2025 19:46

We had 4 DC in a house 18’ x 22’ until the youngest was 9.

I suggest you properly declutter! board the loft out properly for storage.

Nessastats · 02/04/2025 19:32

If you two plus a baby can't fit into what seems to be a decent sized 3 bed, you need to get rid of some stuff. Decluttering is a lot easier and cheaper than moving out or extending!

Mirrorxxx · 02/04/2025 19:29

I’d move. Your house is very small for 3 people and it would cost a lot to extend the kitchen and do a loft room

Quitelikeit · 02/04/2025 18:59

I didn’t find an extension that hard going

If you can afford to create a room in the loft and extend outback then I would do that

Otherwise you can kiss goodbye to €€€€ in sol fees, estate agent fees and stamp duty for a start!!!

Icanttakethisanymore · 02/04/2025 18:56

I’d move. Extended houses are never as good as ‘original’ sqft.

CobraChicken · 02/04/2025 18:54

If you can afford to move to a bigger house (but still detached, and staying in the area you love) I would definitely choose that, if I were you, but that's because I'd rather avoid the disruption of extending.

But, saying that, maybe a loft conversion wouldn't be too much upheaval and no more stressful than selling up and moving house?

Sorry, I'm no help at all 😆

DoNoTakeNo · 02/04/2025 18:23

Move, whilst DS is young. You won’t regret doing it at this stage.
Go for it!!

user1468867181 · 02/04/2025 18:23

Giggorata · 02/04/2025 18:15

I think I would look at the loft first, as you haven't got a lot of space upstairs and see if you couldn't get a big bedroom, or two smaller ones, some storage space and possibly a shower and loo up there.
You'd have to drop the small bedroom and put a staircase in there, and there would also be room for more storage, under and around the stairs, maybe have those stair drawers too.

Alternatively extend out the back, with extra room/s which could be versatile, either extra living space or bedrooms, with a shower/loo room.

I'm assuming that a two storey extension would be beyond budget.
I'm also not quite clear about where the garage is and whether extensions could abut up behind it somehow.
Depending whether it is brick, there might also be the possibility of making it two storey, for playroom, storage, home office or whatever.

I agree with this. The house next door to ours with a similar layout has gone into the loft and managed to create a good size bedroom with lots of storage and a small bathroom. I would also ask why you need more space downstairs. Can you look at alternative storage solutions? What you trying to store? We have the same issue but the problem is that my husband and daughter have a lot of stuff that they never use but refuse to throw away.

Giggorata · 02/04/2025 18:15

I think I would look at the loft first, as you haven't got a lot of space upstairs and see if you couldn't get a big bedroom, or two smaller ones, some storage space and possibly a shower and loo up there.
You'd have to drop the small bedroom and put a staircase in there, and there would also be room for more storage, under and around the stairs, maybe have those stair drawers too.

Alternatively extend out the back, with extra room/s which could be versatile, either extra living space or bedrooms, with a shower/loo room.

I'm assuming that a two storey extension would be beyond budget.
I'm also not quite clear about where the garage is and whether extensions could abut up behind it somehow.
Depending whether it is brick, there might also be the possibility of making it two storey, for playroom, storage, home office or whatever.

TimeForTeaAndG · 02/04/2025 17:59

What do you mean by lack of living space? A 13 x 11ft living room is pretty massive.

What's in the 3rd bedroom currently? Could it be better used, better storage design?

What is in the loft? Could you extend up?