Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want my 15yr old driving yet?

63 replies

betteronmondays · 02/04/2025 13:37

My son turns 15.5yrs in a month and says can he apply for his provisional driving license in a month and then wants to drive with us under supervision. We live in central London. We drive an expensive car after years of having a cheap small car because we can finally afford one we all fit into. I object to so many things… a 15yr having a say in car decisions. A 15yr driving around London. The cost, responsibility, entitlement, necessity, danger… I mean we hardly even drive we use it to get out of London!
my husband says all he did from the age of 10 is drive and drive his parents around from 15.. I know he’s exaggerating as he was a full boarder from the age of 7yrs. But now I am being made to feel unreasonable…

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
CaptainMyCaptain · 03/04/2025 17:58

ILikeYouToo · 03/04/2025 12:36

There's under 17 driving schools you can use - Young Driver is the biggest and runs all over the country. You can start from age 9 then! Gives them a head-start in a completely safe environment, ready for when they reach 17.

You drive their dual control cars though and have a session going round a track. All my grandchildren have done it. You don't need a provisional licence and I think you have to be over 11, or maybe that's just the age mine did it.

ILikeYouToo · 03/04/2025 12:36

There's under 17 driving schools you can use - Young Driver is the biggest and runs all over the country. You can start from age 9 then! Gives them a head-start in a completely safe environment, ready for when they reach 17.

Mum2jenny · 02/04/2025 20:57

You could let your dc drive off-road on private land at any age, but it seems you don’t want to consider this option.
I learnt to drive around 15 on private roads, taught my dc to drive on an old airfield at a similar age.

Cucy · 02/04/2025 20:52

I think this may be the case in America which is where the confusion came from.

Someone I know said the same a couple of years ago and I had to double check too, so it must be coming from somewhere.

Buy him a theory practice book and tell him to focus on his GCSEs and practicing the theory test.

BodyKeepingScore · 02/04/2025 20:44

betteronmondays · 02/04/2025 19:22

Wow went back told my house of boys they are all wrong look at govt etc… and they still don’t believe me I give up… I mean I’m no trampled wife or shrinking violet I’m the bread winner in prof job and feisty character but apparently testosterone trumps it my ability to judge on this I give up. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Let them sit back and make fools of themselves then when they try to get him on the road or insured before 17.

SunsetCocktails · 02/04/2025 20:13

betteronmondays · 02/04/2025 19:22

Wow went back told my house of boys they are all wrong look at govt etc… and they still don’t believe me I give up… I mean I’m no trampled wife or shrinking violet I’m the bread winner in prof job and feisty character but apparently testosterone trumps it my ability to judge on this I give up. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Well, let your son apply for his provisional and let your husband contact the car insurance company to put your son on it…and sit back and wait !

RanyaJerodung · 02/04/2025 20:05

B1indEye · 02/04/2025 19:50

Maybe the child in question is home schooled and doesn't know any other mid teens. Although that doesn't explain the husband's stupidity

I think you'd have to be pretty isolated not to know this. Worse - to completely disbelieve your mother's word without even checking?
It's not good.

betteronmondays · 02/04/2025 19:57

I’m having my first day off this year… and questioning all my life choices right now!

OP posts:
B1indEye · 02/04/2025 19:50

RanyaJerodung · 02/04/2025 19:38

Of course they know it - they all talk about it!

Maybe the child in question is home schooled and doesn't know any other mid teens. Although that doesn't explain the husband's stupidity

RanyaJerodung · 02/04/2025 19:38

B1indEye · 02/04/2025 19:37

I know, it's insane isn't it 😁

Of course they know it - they all talk about it!

B1indEye · 02/04/2025 19:37

labradorservant · 02/04/2025 19:25

But how do they not know this? Kids talk about driving when they are 17 and drinking when 18. Ask them to look on tik tok. Then they might actually believe it 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️.

I know, it's insane isn't it 😁

RanyaJerodung · 02/04/2025 19:32

betteronmondays · 02/04/2025 19:22

Wow went back told my house of boys they are all wrong look at govt etc… and they still don’t believe me I give up… I mean I’m no trampled wife or shrinking violet I’m the bread winner in prof job and feisty character but apparently testosterone trumps it my ability to judge on this I give up. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Why are you so disrespected that your word is automatically disbelieved?
I suggest that there's a bigger problem here than a boy learning to drive.

B1indEye · 02/04/2025 19:27

betteronmondays · 02/04/2025 19:22

Wow went back told my house of boys they are all wrong look at govt etc… and they still don’t believe me I give up… I mean I’m no trampled wife or shrinking violet I’m the bread winner in prof job and feisty character but apparently testosterone trumps it my ability to judge on this I give up. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Are there special circumstances that make them all unable to understand a simple concept? I don't want to be rude if there are but that aside how dense do you need to be to not accept that they are wrong?

Have you showed them all the replies from strangers who have no stake in any of this but live in the real world where everyone you can't drive on the public roads at 15

labradorservant · 02/04/2025 19:25

But how do they not know this? Kids talk about driving when they are 17 and drinking when 18. Ask them to look on tik tok. Then they might actually believe it 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️.

betteronmondays · 02/04/2025 19:22

Wow went back told my house of boys they are all wrong look at govt etc… and they still don’t believe me I give up… I mean I’m no trampled wife or shrinking violet I’m the bread winner in prof job and feisty character but apparently testosterone trumps it my ability to judge on this I give up. 🤦🏾‍♀️

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 02/04/2025 18:07

Your DS gets free bus travel and reduced tube fares. He should stick to that.

Glittertwins · 02/04/2025 17:58

We bought a little car for ours to learn in from their 17th birthday. We were pleasantly surprised how little it cost to put them on that policy however they’re only ever out with us. That will change once they’ve passed the test. As per other PPs, there is no way they are going near our cars!

itsgettingweird · 02/04/2025 17:52

Iknowaboutpopular · 02/04/2025 13:39

You can apply for a provisional driving licence when you're 15 years and 9 months old. You can start driving a car when you're 17. You can drive a car when you are 16 if you get, or have applied for, the enhanced rate of the mobility component of Personal Independence Payment (PIP)

Quoted from the GOV website.

And it takes so long to get a license if you’re disabled you’d be lucky to apply at 16 for a provisional and have it before your 18th birthday!

Peachy2005 · 02/04/2025 17:49

We had to buy a little secondhand runabout for the kids to learn on - a family member was changing their car so it worked out quite well. Even if we had wanted them to, they couldn’t have gotten insured to learn on either of our cars due to engine size. When they eventually pass their tests, they still wouldn’t be able to be insured on either of ours due to high cost.

DumpedByText · 02/04/2025 17:28

It's 17 unless he's disabled. I tried to insure my DD on her own car for learners insurance and they wouldn't let me until the day of her 17th birthday.

Your the adult here so you tell him no and he's wrong!

Fizbosshoes · 02/04/2025 17:14

2 acquaintances taught their 15 year old boys to drive (on private land, although not their own land)
One of them was caught taking their parents car our for a spin on public roads when he was 16. Can't remember if they pranged the car.

I couldn't see the point of teaching them to drive that early

HolidayC0untdown1234567 · 02/04/2025 16:50

A person can ride a 50cc moped at 16

Check insurance
Check if a course or test is required (rules keep changing)

I had one at 16
Then a 125 & 250cc at 17 onwards

Riding a moped assisted with road sense, before learning to drive a car

B1indEye · 02/04/2025 16:27

incandescentglow · 02/04/2025 16:10

to be fair it's seemingly not as easy as saying no to the kid when you have the dad supporting it too

Eh, saying to no to something because, you know, it's illegal is up there with the easy parenting issues surely

Delphiniumandlupins · 02/04/2025 16:27

I suggest your DS (and his father) check the law before they get carried away with their fancy plans.

B1indEye · 02/04/2025 16:25

Do you drive @betteronmondays , I can't believe that any driving adult doesn't know that you need to be 17