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Original poster

Leaving 15 week old

83 replies

Zoobabies · 02/04/2025 10:57

We go away every year with a couple of close friends for the weekend however this year I have a 15 week old baby which I will be leaving for the first time overnight with grandparents.

The friends wanted to set off early morning and I requested that we leave two hours later to give me time to sort LG and do handover to grandparents. The room could not be checked till 3 pm and we will be there well before that even leaving at my time.

They refused and stated that they wanted to make a day of it drinking, and if we wanted to leave later to do the three hour drive ourselves and meet them there bearing in mind we have driven the last two years running, am I being unreasonable to be upset and hurt that they think more of an extra couple of hours drinking than us as friends and our LG?

If they had wanted to leave late evening to accommodate their children, even if I didn’t like it, I still would have agreed because their kids mean the world to me and there needs to come first.

OP posts:
Raindropsandroses123 · 05/05/2025 00:22

Gustavo77 · 05/05/2025 00:17

Why on earth are you leaving a 15 week old baby?!! You have a child and that child is your number 1 priority for the rest of your life, not some selfish irresponsible jolly with your mates! Jeesh 😤

Agree. Why bother going? Will you really be able to relax without your baby? Why can’t rhe baby go along with you?

Gustavo77 · 05/05/2025 00:17

Why on earth are you leaving a 15 week old baby?!! You have a child and that child is your number 1 priority for the rest of your life, not some selfish irresponsible jolly with your mates! Jeesh 😤

Chungai · 05/05/2025 00:17

Soonenough · 04/05/2025 20:39

Only on MN and perhaps Western culture is it considered some dereliction of duty to be briefly separated from your child . Baby is not an infant and will be with loving family . Many people wouldn't even think twice about it . Guilt shaming mothers is alive and well.

15 weeks is an infant...?!

Chungai · 05/05/2025 00:15

CarrieOnComplaining · 02/04/2025 11:17

They are being a bit self centred, but I would travel separately.

I would want to be able to leave at a moment's notice to get back to a 16 week old being left for the first time, with no pressure or consideration from anyone else.

On such a short trip with a long drive you do kind of want to make the most of every hour possible - it was kind of you to have accommodated them in the past, but it was your choice.

Personally I wouldn't be doing the trip this year, but that's me.

Can't say it better than this.

I would have absolutely hated leaving my children overnight at that age and would have really struggled to relax, but then I was breastfeeding and didn't have GPs locally to help.

Chick981 · 05/05/2025 00:11

YABU OP. Both in wanting to cut short your friends trip by a couple of hours, but different if it was a week away but if it’s just one night then a couple of hours makes a big difference.

But also YABU to judge others for not wanting to leave their babies. I could never have left either of mine at four months. I don’t judge you for doing what is right for you and your baby. But please don’t judge people for not wanting to leave their 2.5 year olds for a night, that is normal and healthy (as is being happy to leave them at 15 weeks). You’re not a better mum just because you’re happy to leave your baby for a night, and neither is someone a better mum is they won’t leave them. Your comment to a PP about needing to get out more is cruel and unnecessary.

Focusevaporation · 04/05/2025 23:42

Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 21:56

Then I feel sad for you that you don’t have anybody you can trust enough or feel confident in leaving a nearly 4 month old baby with.

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See this is exactly what I mean OP.

To quote you
'Let’s hope the next person you comment something like that too isn’t a mother struggling with postnatal depression or a very young mum struggling that takes it to heart and does something stupid!'

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be with your newborn!

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 04/05/2025 22:08

I would run a mile from friends that want to spend an entire day drinking.
You need better friends.

JudgeJ · 04/05/2025 22:06

OneDenimQuoter · 04/05/2025 15:10

I think it's unreasonable to leave a 15 week old baby alone so you can go boozing. Your friends want a piss up, it's not their child. Why can't you go by yourself

The baby's not being dumped in front of the TV watching Peppa Pig for the night, his/her grandparents will be taking care and possibly spoiling him/her with lots of loving hugs.

Original poster
Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 21:56

summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 20:52

Well i didn't leave him at 15 weeks day or night.

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Then I feel sad for you that you don’t have anybody you can trust enough or feel confident in leaving a nearly 4 month old baby with.

OP posts:
Didimum · 04/05/2025 21:02

summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 20:58

Oh do calm Down dear. You'll give yourself a coronary 🤔🤣

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Well worth if it puts nasty pieces of work like you in their place. Go get a hobby.

summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 20:58

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Oh do calm Down dear. You'll give yourself a coronary 🤔🤣

luckylavender · 04/05/2025 20:58

curious79 · 02/04/2025 11:03

Your friends are right not to wait

Equally your baby is sub 4months - I couldn’t have left my DD at that point. Is that the real issue?!

We're all different

Didimum · 04/05/2025 20:55

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TeenLifeMum · 04/05/2025 20:55

It’s only a 3 hour drive? Just drive at the time that suits you. Dh and I drove 3.5 hours to a party yesterday and then drove home that evening… I wouldn’t want to do that regularly but as a one off it’s not a big deal.

summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 20:52

Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 20:49

And the difference between day and night leaving?

Again, aggression in the comment……

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Well i didn't leave him at 15 weeks day or night.

Original poster
Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 20:49

summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 20:45

I said I didn't leave my child OVERNIGHT till he was 2.5.

Not leave him at all . During the day. Nursery . With family .

READ the post properly before you comment

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And the difference between day and night leaving?

Again, aggression in the comment……

OP posts:
summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 20:45

Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 20:37

I did not criticise, I made a simple comment back, I said they need to get out more.
To not to leave/be without the child for nearly 3 years, what happens to the child when you suddenly have to start leaving for hours a day when it goes to school, etc

However, that said I did not personally attack this person or call her a bad mother or call her parenting inappropriate which is uncalled for in any circumstances, that is what we teach children is bullying- but apparently you all think it is acceptable because its on an internet post.

Show quote history

I said I didn't leave my child OVERNIGHT till he was 2.5.

Not leave him at all . During the day. Nursery . With family .

READ the post properly before you comment

jetlag92 · 04/05/2025 20:41

Zoobabies · 02/04/2025 11:07

I don’t think the world revolves around my child, I’m well aware only my world revolves around my child. My issue was we’ve always driven together and for the last two years we have worked around their childcare timings so that we could all travel together (us driving) and I just kind of expected it would be returned.

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Tell them that then. We've worked around you for the past two years and now you need to work around us.

Soonenough · 04/05/2025 20:39

Only on MN and perhaps Western culture is it considered some dereliction of duty to be briefly separated from your child . Baby is not an infant and will be with loving family . Many people wouldn't even think twice about it . Guilt shaming mothers is alive and well.

Original poster
Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 20:37

IButtleSir · 04/05/2025 20:05

Or maybe you and your partner need to stay in more?

Why is it unacceptable for people to criticise you and your partner for leaving your 15 week old baby, but perfectly okay for you to criticise someone else for not leaving her child until they're 2?

Edited
Show quote history

I did not criticise, I made a simple comment back, I said they need to get out more.
To not to leave/be without the child for nearly 3 years, what happens to the child when you suddenly have to start leaving for hours a day when it goes to school, etc

However, that said I did not personally attack this person or call her a bad mother or call her parenting inappropriate which is uncalled for in any circumstances, that is what we teach children is bullying- but apparently you all think it is acceptable because its on an internet post.

OP posts:
IButtleSir · 04/05/2025 20:05

Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 18:26

I never said anything about alcoholics…..?

Of course, my child is my priority not my friends that’s clearly what the post stated.

Also, not leaving your child till 2.5 - you need to get out more!

Show quote history

Or maybe you and your partner need to stay in more?

Why is it unacceptable for people to criticise you and your partner for leaving your 15 week old baby, but perfectly okay for you to criticise someone else for not leaving her child until they're 2?

Focusevaporation · 04/05/2025 19:50

I think that is somewhat hypocritical when you judge others for prioritising their DC for a very short period of time. Maybe practice what you preach with having nothing nice to say. Most wouldn't pass judgement but it is out of the ordinary to leave such a small child, especially when your biggest concern is your mates going without you rather than a backup plan to return to your newborn in an emergency.

Original poster
Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 19:25

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Yep bad mother!!

With people like you commenting on posts, there’s no wonder there is so much self hate around women, calling someone a bad mother and saying it’s inappropriate to leave a child when you have no clue about their life!

Luckily, I’m a grown woman who realises I can have a baby and still be an actual person myself and will take no notice of your nonsense putdowns. My daughter is very privileged, loved and cared for, will have a fantastic future and we also have a great support network around us.

Let’s hope the next person you comment something like that too isn’t a mother struggling with postnatal depression that maybe needs a break or a very young mum struggling that takes it to heart and does something stupid!

I hope your child grows up to learn that if you have nothing nice to say don’t say it at all. 🙄

OP posts:
summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 19:02

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Original poster
Zoobabies · 04/05/2025 18:26

summerscomingsoon · 04/05/2025 16:05

Weird comments about friends being alcoholics. They want a few drinks on their weekend away. No big deal.

I think yabu. It would make much more sense for you to travel alone anyway. As others have saud if you need to get back urgently fir the baby.

First time I left mine overnight with gc I had to go back urgently and unexpectedly. He was 2.5 not a newborn. Yiu have no idea what might happen. You're a parent now. Your baby is your priority not your friends.

I never said anything about alcoholics…..?

Of course, my child is my priority not my friends that’s clearly what the post stated.

Also, not leaving your child till 2.5 - you need to get out more!

OP posts:
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