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Original poster

Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

382 replies

sunrisesunshine · 02/04/2025 10:57

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

  1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
  2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
  3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

OP posts:
YipYapYop · 02/04/2025 13:11

sunrisesunshine · 02/04/2025 10:57

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

  1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
  2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
  3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

Obviously say no. They'll have to get public transport, many do this if they can't afford to run a car.

ladyofshertonabbas · 02/04/2025 13:10

No way.

jolota · 02/04/2025 13:09

Only lend money you can afford to not get back.
This is not the case for you. Even with a contract it would take time and money to enforce this to get your money paid back if they default.
They're the ones making the situation awkward, not you. Remember that if you feel like you might end up losing a friendship by refusing to loan the money.
I would just say that you don't have enough available in savings due to buying the house and leave it at that.

PullTheBricksDown · 02/04/2025 13:08

Apparently they need the car for his new job and to ferry the kids to and from school, activities etc

I mean, sure, life would be easier doing that with a car. But plenty of us have had to cut back and do without things. They need to do this. Where is his new job, in the middle of nowhere where no buses or public transport go? Most kids live close enough to their schools to make walking there possible. He'll have to leave the house earlier, or find someone who drives to his new job that he can pay petrol money to in return for lifts. Funny how it's just easier to ask for cash than do any of this.

brombatz · 02/04/2025 13:06

Could have sorted the car when they had the cash, it's not got this bad that quickly...

I'm hesitating about lending a couple of hundred quid to a friend, as I'm worried about it changing the dynamics and we're not short of cash. In your position, no way...

Obvnotthegolden · 02/04/2025 12:55

Their financial situation is not your responsibility.

If you could afford to lose the money then I'd say to do it if you felt generous, but it doesn't sound like you can afford it so no. Don't do it!

ginasevern · 02/04/2025 12:54

How would losing their friendship be a bad thing? You need this pair of grifters in your life like a hole in the head! Do not, I repeat do not lend them money. Let them get snotty with you and then stand back rejoice that they are out of your life.

Richiewoo · 02/04/2025 12:54

Tell them you can't afford it. End off. They have a cheek

Paganpentacle · 02/04/2025 12:54

Nope.
How are they going to pay you back?
They cant.

reesewithoutaspoon · 02/04/2025 12:53

Nope.
If you lend it you would be the last person they will pay back.
Might start off with a few payments then " oh the kids need uniforms,or it's Christmas or the car needs more work, can we miss this months"
Then she will avoid you, leaving you in the awkward position of chasing for it.
You might get a small portion back initially, then you will have to spend more to take them to small claims to try and get it back.

Seen the above scenario play out multiple times.
Especially involving people with poor financial management already.

Mudkipper · 02/04/2025 12:53

The OP would be nuts to offer lifts either. She'd end up being their personal chauffeur.

Don't do it, OP. These people are absolutely feckless. They could have bought a new car with the £22K and given they have four kids, it would have been a real investment.

Flatbellyfella · 02/04/2025 12:52

What a nerve… No way should you pay for their car repairs.

Moveoverdarlin · 02/04/2025 12:49

Jesus no! You’ve only got 5k in savings.

If your boiler breaks tomorrow and the clutch on your car goes. You’ll need to borrow the money.

Say ‘sorry, I’ve got nowhere near 2k in savings Jenny, but let me know and I might be able to help out with lifts’.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 02/04/2025 12:48

No. They sound awful with money. You'll never get it back

Gettingbysomehow · 02/04/2025 12:47

You surely are joking. They are absolute piss takers. They got themselves into debt and you will never get that money back.
Just say no. I would never even dream of asking anyone for money to get my car fixed.
They aren't friends.

NewmummyJ · 02/04/2025 12:46

Absolutely not. They're clearly bad with money abd you're unlikely to ever see it again. Do not feel bad for saying no.

whycantibeselfishforonce · 02/04/2025 12:46

No, no and no. Don't do it OP.

It might be awkward to say no but it'll be even more awkward when you're trying to get the money back from them.

It's not your problem. They'll have to get the bus for a while.

LoftyTiger · 02/04/2025 12:45

sunrisesunshine · 02/04/2025 10:57

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

  1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
  2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
  3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

they are adults, No.

the fact they cant get credit from any normal lender tells you all you need to know about their repayment habits.

just say its tied up in an ISA you cant access or spent on something else, but ultimately NO

vandelle · 02/04/2025 12:45

BTW, am I the only one on the planet who would be absolutely mortified to ask anyone for money? I think I'd rather die than do that. And I have been very very skint in my younger days but managed to get through it with overtime and a second job.

My parents always told us to have a slush fund for emergencies, and honestly from the day I was reasonably solvent again after getting my first job post graduation, I have always done that. Not polishing my own halo or anything, but it's bloody common sense really!

Felicityjoy · 02/04/2025 12:44

Absolutely no. You can’t afford it, they don’t deserve it and it’s a surefire way of wrecking a friendship.

Just say sorry, I can’t afford it, I’ve only got the savings I’m keeping in case of emergency. Don’t enter into any discussion with them about how much you’ve got - it’s none of their business. Their car issues are not your problem. Let them ask family or other people if they really need to borrow.

pinkyredrose · 02/04/2025 12:39

Definitely no! You didn't ask to borrow from them when they had 22k and you were buy your first house with all the expenses that brings.

Their financial fecklessness is not your problem.

There are credit cards designed to help people with their credit rating, they can get one of those.

Mosaic123 · 02/04/2025 12:38

Nope. You could give them the odd lift if they want.

TwistedWonder · 02/04/2025 12:35

No no no no no - their inability to manage money is not your issue.

No excuses, no explanation just say no

OccasionalHope · 02/04/2025 12:35

Say no. You’ll end up with neither friend nor money.

AthWat · 02/04/2025 12:34

sunrisesunshine · 02/04/2025 10:57

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

  1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
  2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
  3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

Point 1 is irrelevant.
Point 2 is irrelevant.
Point 3 is not quite right, you would have the courts.

None of this matters though. Don't lend people money you can't afford and expect to lose. Ever.

If you only have 5K savings, you can't lend anyone 2K of that if getting it paid back is even a consideration.

If you were a multi-millionaire then sure, give them the 2K and you won't even care or notice if they pay you back. But you can't afford to. It's that simple.