Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

@sunrisesunshine don't do it.

Tell her you've tried to see if you can scrape the money together or borrow it but you can't and you're really sorry you can't help but that you're there if she needs to talk or is stressed.

Its too large a sum and you've no guarantee she will pay you back.

As others have said this is an absolute hard no. I would be very blunt with the response 'no, I'm sorry, I can't afford to lend anyone money."

They have plenty of other options to hand:

1. Sell car and take public transport
2. Take public transport until they can afford the repairs
3. Borrow off family
4. Borrow off non-single friends

You'd be mad to hand over any money to this friend, considering their track record, let alone 40% of your savings.

You think this conversation will be awkward? Well hand over the money and there'll be a dozen more awkward conversations waiting in the wings as you desperately attempt to get them to repay you.

Don't lend it. You don't need to give a reason, but you could just say that you need the money for contingencies, which is true. They sound unreliable with money, and if you lend them money, trying to get it back could put far more strain on the relationship than a polite 'no' in the first place.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be...
Do not do it
Do not do it
Do not!

Definitely don't! I think I'd probably just be honest, but if you want to soften it make something up. eg: you've decided to start a pension (or put more into an existing one) so have no spare cash. That would shut any pleading down.

No way! If they can't afford a car, they will have to get the bus. They have no one to blame but themselves for their current situation.

Don't do it op!

A car is a luxury, not a given right to own one. If they can't afford to upkeep and repair a car, they shouldn't have one. Saying goes.. "never a borrower or a lender be". Unless you can afford to lose the money. Also, it can seriously affect friendships so if you value yours with them, just politely decline, no explanation needed.

Do they still not work? Was the payout for something that made it harder for him to work? Was she just not working or she quit to live off his payout? Are there children? If not and they don’t work do they really need the car anyway? If no children and no job like they aren’t even trying id say no. Otherwise I don’t know, but if I did give them 2k I’d say I’m angry that you spent 20k and need to borrow my savings, so I’m never ever doing this again. You need to save like the rest of us.

You'd essentially be giving half your savings away. Why would you do that? They haven't been able to save for the repair, so it's unlikely they will ever have the money to pay you back.

If they'll make it difficult for you to say no, they'll also make it difficult when you ask to be repaid.

Also what gives them the idea you have money that you can freely lend when you have recently bought a home for yourself

Do not lend them the money under any circumstances and from now on do not reveal any of your financial information to anyone even your very best friend.

Tell your friend the money you have is already allocated to something house related, be vague but tell them firmly you can’t lend any money to them as you have no ‘spare’ money. Your friend is the type of person who sees savings as spare money so she thinks it is ok to ask you. Actually there is no such thing as spare money as eventually it will be used by the person who saved it.

I wouldn’t stay friends with someone who put me in this position, if you do stay friends then complain about being short of money EVERY SINGLE TIME you have anything to do with them. If they know that you have savings just remember that when it was discussed they were quietly noting that you were a potential resource.

They pissed away £22k to take a year long holiday.
it was a no from me even before reading that!

No , what happened to the 22k? Is it gone ? I'd not be lending money to people who can't manage their finances because you will never get paid back

You are not an ATM.

True friendship does not cost money.

Say no. If the friendship ends breathe a sigh of relief.

Absolutely not and any awkwardness is their fault not yours. They shouldn’t have put you in this position. However awkward it is to say no now it’d be a million times worse having to chase her for the inevitable inability to repay you. Just say no and don’t feel bad or give an inch.

The friendship will end either way. A. If you refuse, and B. if they don't repay you, which is highly likely.

It's easier to say no when you remember this.

This is what jumped out at me. Aside from the fact they’re irresponsible with money and it’s almost half your savings you’d be waiting to get paid back, it’s especially inconsiderate for a couple to ask that sort of money from a single woman (or man)

I’ve had couple friends ask for me for money when I was single, although it nowhere near as much as 2K. I gave it to them on several occasions but the same “friends” were always nowhere to be seen in terms of offering help when I was made homeless/lost a job etc. I’ve learnt my lesson!

As a single person it’s not wise to be propping up couples/families who have each others backs, but won’t have your back. You are on your own but they aren’t!

When push comes to shove they’ll (rightly) prioritise each other or their “little family” and won’t even factor you in. There’s two of them, and one of you. They need to figure it out between themselves!

Definite no from me.

No one else will lend to them for a good reason. Say no and don’t feel awkward! Why would they think they’re entitled to use your hard earned income? If they’re awkward they’re not real friends.

No because they simply won’t be able to afford to pay you back.

"No, sorry, I can't afford to". Going forward, never tell friends how much savings you have - ever. Point out, you'd be in the shit, if something of your own breaks.

If you had 100k in the bank, then maybe. But 2k out of 5k isn’t money you can afford to lose.