Called the police

No, never to my knowledge.

Oh @godmum56 your poor Dad, that is heartbreaking! How could someone do that to their little brother. Did he ever forgive them/ have contact when he was older?

I get it, I really do. My Dad was much the youngest of the family and he was raised by his widowed dad. When his Dad died his 4 adult sisters put him in an orphanage.

Most people wouldn't have refused to say anything, and rang their partners and the police. Maybe her husband could email them and explain.

They aren't owed an explanation though. I would be very pissed of if DH took it upon himself to explain something about me, it's not his place.

Yes he did, he never went back or talked about them again. It would have been nice for him to find out why his mother kept them and not him. It's just sad. I think he always wondered why he wasn't good enough. His mother had children before and after him. I can't imagine not knowing where I'm from.

Reading OPs replies she obviously is going through a lot. But once they read her letter and her husband explained they should have left. I didn't see her replies until just now. My phone wouldn't load.

I'm an adopted child, so in a way I have a dog in the fight.

Based on my age, my bio parents are probably dead. I know I have 3 half sibs via my bio mother and I'm not sure they know I exist. I would assume that the two older would have known their mother was pregnant, but who knows?

I have no real desire to meet my bio siblings, if I did I would have initiated a search long ago. If they showed up knocking on my door chances are I would shut the door in their faces as OP did, out of pure shock. And the harder they tried to force themselves on me, the more I'd say "No way". Because if someone tries to force themselves into your notice, they're usually someone you do NOT want in your life.

It's just not appropriate nor kind to show up at someone's door and say "Guess who I am!!!!". It's always best to go through an intermediary or via letter. And to realize that if the 'receiving party' to your information doesn't want to know you, you need to accept it with good grace and walk away.

It's up to OP as to whether or not she wants to know the contents of any letter. But the thing is, if these people had written her a letter in the first place, chances are she would have opened it simply because, well, when a letter comes to you, that's what you generally do. But instead they tried to bully their way in, so now the chances are she won't want to read it and will toss it in the bin. Would I read a letter in OP's circumstances? Probably. But my situation is much more straightforward than hers. I have no bad memories of a bad childhood that I wouldn't want dragged up. She does, so her choice is even more important and even more to be respected.

Bottom line is, OP owes them nothing. It doesn't matter who they are, what they want, or what they have to impart. She is not required, morally or otherwise, to comply with their wishes. No one has the right to demand the attention of another person if they want to be left alone, period.

But the had a right to refuse contact. Did your grandfather not ever consider that?

I do feel bad for them. I imagine they have waited years and years to meet their family and probably travel a long way too. They've probably put a load of work into finding you and what to say ect. Why didn't you just take their contact details and tell them you will be in touch when your ready? It would have taken you or your partner a few minutes to go and see them. You could write it all down in a letter/email. But still they shouldn't have came back and knocked again. They should have just put a letter through the door.
I'm probably more on their side as my granddad spent years and years tracking down his family. He talked about them a lot and finally found them and travelled to Ireland to meet them only to get the door shut in his face. He was devastated. He couldn't find the words to write in a later so wanted to see them in person.

These people have no right whatsoever to keep coming to your home. What makes them think that it's OK to try to force you to talk when clearly you don't want to. They need to realise that this is upsetting to you and just because they want to pursue their DNA tests doesn't mean that you want to. This is not your problem and you have every right to your privacy. You don't owe them anything and I can see why you called the police

If you seriously think this is about family "getting to know each other", I got a bridge to sell you.

These people went to the trouble of getting her email and physical address after she did not contact them back. They came to her home and repeatedly tried to speak to her after it was made clear she didn't want to speak to them. They tried after her husband left for work. They refused to leave her drive after being told to go. They won't take no for an answer. They are not reasonable and their refusal to accept her no and trespass after being told to leave by a homeowner indicate they want something significant from OP.

The think of the stalkers take some people have on this is wild. OP doesn't have to speak to people she doesn't want to, and especially when their behaviour is unreasonable and intimidating.

If you seriously think that family wanting to get to know other family and going to the trouble of travelling to see them, however ill-handled, is whimsy then you have a sense of values so shallow they'd dry out in thirty seconds and the ability to love of a mayfly at the 23rd hour.

I'm mildly sorry for whatever in your life has left you so unable to have any depth or empathy, though I'm more sorry for the OP's traumatic childhood. But good God, you make a pancake look like the Dalai Lama.

My first thought was some sort of significant (and maybe urgent) health condition, but your post made me think a bot differently. If you knew where someone lived & needed to get information to them that you thought might help them, surely you'd write a letter.

Not hang about when you're not wanted.

I suspect there's been a death of a close relative that they want to tell @Highfivemum about. But their behaviour demonstrates pretty clearly why she doesn't want anything to do with them!

As I've said privacy fought and won comes at a cost. It's not an easy path and whimsy is not an excuse to infriltate the present. OP and her family have a super well earned life. She has shown her strength and may well it persist.

It's not truly sad, except in your poetic version of events which OP has been very clear on.

What a truly sad thread for a myriad of reasons.

The OP's traumatic childhood.
Her terrified reaction to the possibility of half-siblings.
The possible half-siblings' longing for family, if they were genuine.
Their utterly ham fisted and destructive way of handling this.
The possibility in itself that they weren't genuine.
The compassionless and lack of any nuance in so many posters' brutal reactions all round.
The bickering on a thread that's about serious childhood pain and loss all round.

Truly sad. Some of the responses here are so callous and even cruel.

That's precisely why I'm not on the open roll.

I'm confused as to why you're telling me to stop? I've just offered an explanation as to how the unwanted visitors found the address.

Which I am not for good reason. I tried to reiterate that the OP has fought hard to create a good life for herself. Privacy for good reasons comes as a cost itself. Please stop.

How mature of you.

Whatever.

@mainecooncatonahottinroofAs can everyone else on this thread. Yet when people comment on what you’ve said it’s “abuse”. 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP, I'm sorry you've had this experience. You're not obligated to speak to them or communicate with them.

I would get your husband to read the letter rather than throw it away though. Given your childhood it would be sensible to make sure that they're not telling you about anything/anyone that will put the life you've worked so hard to build at risk. If the letter contains nothing you need to know your husband can always throw it away. But DH knowing at least gives you the power to protect yourself if needed.

This type of scenario happened quite a bit in the past, I think.

I absolutely agree that these people should not have been so persistent but I hadn't even commented on that aspect before I got my arse handed to me!

No "rude and vile" is the pile-on I have been subjected to for making a single point. I will choose my own vocabulary, thank you.

Erm, she posted on public social media??? I can comment as I see fit.

I take it you are referring to yourself?

Really not hard at all to see who of the posters on here would be the type to harangue people who have made it clear they don’t want to speak to them.

There are none so thick as the entitled.