Called the police

I would initially have said that contacting the police was a bit ott, but following your updates, they are now making a nuisance of themselves by refusing to leave despite being told to by your dh. It sounds scarey and creepy, and not something a rational person would do, so I wouldn’t want to engage with them at all. Hopefully though they will stick around til the police arrive, and the police can then give them a caution to leave you alone. If that doesn’t work, then go down the restraining order route, as it then becomes stalking and harassment.

Take it from one who knows....telling them to go away (or "fuck off and leave me alone" was how I worded it), means diddly squat to some people.
OP, ask your DP to get them to give him their address on the pre-text that you will be in touch when you're "ready to talk" and send them a strongly worded solicitors letter...worked for me, I haven't heard from/seen my "long lost relative" since.

Well clearly her house isn’t on fire. And clearly tey don’t have any information she needs to know or they would have sent it through official channels.

Seriously the people telling the OP she’s unreasonable or should be speaking to these people need to get a grip.

She doesn’t need to speak to anyone she doesn’t want to.

If Jahova’s witnesses or door-to-door salesmen keep knocking on her door or hang around her driveway should she be obliged to tell them to go away and think it reasonable if they don’t if she doesn’t.

These people are nobodies. There is absolutely no reason for them to be hanging around on her driveway. None what so ever. She doesn’t owe them anything. Even if they are siblings looking for links to their heritage.

In cases such as adoption there are agencies who handle this stuff precisely because people just don’t know what they’re doing or letting themselves in for by knocking on a stranger’s door and announcing they’re a long lost sibling.

She's communicated very effectively by slamming the door in their face. 4 times.

If they are the sort that don't take that as a clear message, they won't take "go away" will they?

Again, your daughter is being harassed by a man and she ignores him as she feels safer to do that. Is she in the wrong? It's a very simple question.

Have you missed where OP said her husband has asked them to leave multiple times?

She hasn't told them to go away.. that's the problem.

She is just ignoring them in the hope they go away on their own.

Hopes don't equal reality, they obviously think what they have to say is important enough to stick around or if they hang around long enough she will relent..

If she wants them to leave she needs to make it perfectly clear that they could camp out for a fucking week and she still would not be speaking to them.

You need to message the police again.

It is a police matter if you have engaged with these people and they are camped outside your home refusing to leave. You aren’t being a nuisance by informing the police that the situation is escalating and ongoing.

Yep. And then you get "but why didn't you just ignore them? You opened the line of communication by speaking to them"

Boring AF.

you can never be too careful in these situations
also its not rude to not talk to them, they are harassing you in your home and they should have taken no for an answer, especially after being spoken to by your husband, they are massively overstepping the lines so don't listen to people telling you should talk to them, you owe them NOTHING

I have a friend who had something similar, he lost his dad and he had some strangers constantly coming to his house insisting they were relatives of his dad and they just wanted to talk, very distressing for him and his mum (he was like 15 at the time)
they ended up being scammers who were praying on the grieving
still affects him he's extremely private about where he lives and doesn't trust many people

i agree with you op somethings are better left in the past.

Again, what is confusing about someone slamming a door in another's face 4 times? What is unclear about that?

So a man is bothering your daughter in a bar. She's ignoring him. Is she in the wrong for not engaging with him?

@Cosmosforbreakfast don’t forget, women must always be polite and the worst thing that can happen is she be rude: if she does that then strangers are perfectly entitled to stalk and harass her at home til they get what they want.

Women must acquiesce to the demands of strangers at all times, without question.

They shouldn’t gave came to your door 3 times, you’ve every right to be upset especially given your past.
now there’s two people refusing to leave I think you actually should call police if you’re feeling threatened in your own home .

She doesn't have to 'cave' or 'talk to them' or anything she doesn't want to.. at present she has done absolutely nothing though, not told them to go away, not told them to not contact her, nothing.. absolutely zilch..

She doesn't know these people or what they are capable of, all she keeps saying is she doesn't want them as part of her life.. but she doesn't know if that is what they want?? She seems to have assumed what they want and is basing her reaction from that?

Just categorically tell them to go away, you are not now or never will be interested in what they need or want from you.. (by note, email or in person) then ignore and pursue legal channels if they persist.

You can't really pursue legal channels to get someone to stop contacting you if you haven't even told them to stop contacting you.

Failure to deal with something is not adequately dealing with something.

They are stalking her and refusing to leave her property. Trespassing, stalking, casing the house, banging doors and not leaving is not going to make anyone want to talk to them. OP's behaviour is NORMAL. She told them to go away, they refuse.

@Highfivemum do you know any "heavies" who could come round and scare them off?? the legal and polite route does not seem to be working!

But people like that insisting on speaking to her directly will think her husband won’t relay it in exactly the right way. By offering them the chance to write it down He can tell them he will pass it on. Whether he does or not is a moot point, but it is a way of offering the chance to speak indirectly and potentially get them to bugger off. It seems a compromise but one on the OPs terms that she does not need to interact with them.

the fact they have come three days in a row and clearly the op does not want to engage with them is of concern.

I assume all of you giving OP a hard time will be advising your daughters that they are to believe anything a stranger says, open their door to strangers, go outside alone and talk to strangers who have been told to leave and that they should do this because if they don't they are being unreasonable.

They are stalking her and refusing to leave her property. They are ON her property, not the street! Trespassing, stalking, casing the house, banging doors and not leaving are crimes and a disorder of the peace! Stop victim-blaming ffs! @Balloonhearts

Yeh, shutting the door in someone’s face is really ambiguous isn’t it? 🙄

Why the hell should she?!?? Can they not just write a letter, and leave her alone??

Nope. And she’s chosen not to tell us. Based on the information she’s provided, everyone is behaving very strangely.

I'd want to know why they wanted to speak to me.

What do you expect the police to do? They have better things to do than chastise someone for the non crime of knocking on your door and asking to speak with you. Standing outside on the street is also not an offence.

Just be a grown up, walk outside ask them what they want and say I'm sorry but I don't want contact with any family members, long lost or otherwise.

They might be just needing an answer to something or informing you of a death. The sooner you speak to them, the sooner they piss off.

Unless there is a drip feed coming that your family is the mafia or you're in witness protection, this is ridiculous.