Called the police

I don't get why you won't talk to them. They are innocent people and haven't abused you in any way. What if you are due an inheritance? Happened to someone I know. They had to do a DNA test and got a substantial sum from their abuser!

This whole dramatic affair could have been avoided with a two minute conversation, instead of dramatics and calling the actual POLICE - who have better things to do.

YABU.

"Being traumatised oneself is not a licence to traumatise others."

Girl, sit down. OP is sitting in her home while two people are trying to force themselves onto her, trespassing, waiting until her husband leaves to try their luck again and refusing to leave when told. OP is not causing anyone trauma, the people harassing her are.

She had to call her husband home from work. These people are way out of line.

Perhaps throw a bit of your supposed 'compassion' in the OP's direction.

They somehow got her email address and when she refused contact, they somehow got her address and showed up at her home more than once. Then the two people waited until her husband left and were knocking again after having the door shut on them before. They refused to leave even after the husband told her she wouldn't speak to them. They are trying to force in person contact. They want something from OP and aren't taking no for an answer. Those are not the acts of someone with good intentions.

If it was so vital, they could contact via mail or a 3rd party like a lawyer. Instead, they trespassed.

They've been more than pushy and I'm getting truly shady vibes here. OP, keep your phone charged up and on you at all times. You might want to share your location with your husband. Be very very very careful what you write to them.

OP has also said she hasn't used an Ancestry site.

With kindness, OP hasn't been able to move on, she is stuck in a limbo stage on not dealing with her past issues but successfully ignoring them

Ah the confidence of armchair psychologists. We all deal with things differently and at different stages. You arrived at the stage you're at when you were ready to take that step. The OP is at the stage she's ready for right now.

Lets just respect that before wading in with size twelves telling her how she 'should' react.

Who else thinks you are making pointless, stupid comments?

Thank you Maine. You are right. I am going to stop now.

It isn't the OPs question on whether they should or should not speak to the callers. Posters have just waded in with their opinions.

At the end of the day the OP needs to do what is right for themselves, they know the situation best and doesn't want to discuss that part.

How very dare you make such an assumption. Such high-handed arrogance! And ignorance. You know nothing about me or my childhood or the various traumas I have had to deal with. Throughout them, however, I think I have always managed to maintain a willingness to be as compassionate as I can to others' difficulties. Being traumatised oneself is not a licence to traumatise others. And don't lecture me about the need to protect myself. I know all about that already. Unbelievable.

experienced childhood trauma, and has moved on

With kindness, OP hasn't been able to move on, she is stuck in a limbo stage on not dealing with her past issues but successfully ignoring them.

I've had to compartmentalise aspects of my life and childhood due to trauma.

Like OP, my peace is only achieved by never seeing, never speaking about, thinking about, or acknowledging what has happened in the past, because some things you just can't move on from so you have to almost pretend they didn't happen.. it is really not healthy IMO, but if it works it works.

I had a similar thing happen to OP, I was forced to make a choice, carry on ignoring and pretending, or confront and hope to get some sort of closure, I decided to confront and it was the best thing I ever did to be fair, nothing changed in any way, apart from the way I felt from then on, I felt I could move on and not actually care anymore, rather than pretend not to care.

These people aren't the ones responsible for OPs childhood trauma, they are just a reminder of it, so I do think it would have been better for OP to have shut down the original contact via email, or failing that to shutdown the visits by leaving a note or handing over a note when they came back to that effect, I think ignoring problems that can easily come and find you means you are never going to be free of them, so if you (understandably) don't want to confront, then the best you can do is make your position abundantly clear and hope they have it in themselves to respect your wishes.

Not specifying your wishes, really will leave things open to interpretation and leave you open for future contact attempts.

Listen, there is no point in trying to reason with some people.

I'm giving up and I recommend you should do the same. No point in putting up with abuse because of your opinion x

Obviously you have never experienced childhood trauma yourself so you have no idea how vital it is to protect oneself in whatever way possible.

Perhaps these people suffered something similar. They do desperately want to tell her something. It would be the compassionate thing to do to at least hear or read what they want to communicate. And it could be something important that OP needs to know.

Exactly. I agree.

Well I won't be interacting any further with you either, so I am more than happy!

There's been some real peaches on this thread! 😂

The OP doesn't want to engage with these strangers.
Respect the decision and move on.
Personally, I'm wishing her all the best.

Um, apart from what you literally just posted. Anyway, it’s clearly pointless engaging with you as you’re missing every point spectacularly.

Nor do you know anything of the OP's, so how about you leave off her

Quelle surprise. Well guess what, OP had it harder than your Hallmark life and isn’t quite as naive about reopening childhood wounds.

I think you are talking nonsense. You don't know anything about my childhood.

I don't care what shit gets flung at me, but it baffles me that someone who has clearly experienced childhood trauma, and has moved on, would deny potential siblings the opportunity to do the same.

You can insult me and call me as many names as you like. I don't care. I think the OP should reconsider and I couldn't give an actual damn what nasty people say about me.

I don't think you're a sibling, but I think you are less kind that you think you are, and very blinkered by your happy childhood as to the extent to which other people's childhoods may be the opposite

Nah, I had two very married parents who adored each other - no complications. Nice try!