To consider private school

This. I have nothing against private schools, but having nearly sent ds to one, concluded that moving would be a better and cheaper idea.

in the end we did neither and he is happy in state

ywbu to rely on scholarships. Your child is still a baby. She may well be academically able but I expect availability of scholarships and bursaries to plummet in the years ahead in an attempt yo partly offset the increase in fees to parents

“I don't think the transition would be too bad, going from reception to year 1. It's no different really from going from any other childcare setting to school.”

This isn’t true a lot of the time I’m afraid. Many children find the year 1 transition one of the hardest within primary. They go from early years to a lot of structure and learning and lots don’t cope with it very well.

If you miss reception and then go to year 1 you’ve missed all the settling in, the social things for parents, a year of forming friendships etc. I think going from reception with a very small class into 30 in y1 or 2 could be quite a shock to the system. Not insurmountable but I wouldn’t ignore some of
the social factors.

Sounds like you don't have the funds to manage private school.

However even if you did please recognise that your daughter is in a much better position than you were, because she has YOU. An interested parent exposing a child to different experiences and conversations makes a huge difference to academic achievement.

Finally remember that private schools are not perfect either. Being the poorest kid at private school is a challenge as much as being the smartest kid in state school. I know people who seemed very well off to my eyes, but beside their private school peers they thought they were poor - it was a very odd self perception (think of Rishi Sunak moaning about not having Sky TV 🤣)

Definitely be careful if you have a precocious reader as they likely to read things way beyond their understanding /what is appropriate! We are a literature loving family Dh and I both readers so our two both read v early and were voracious readers from a very young age remember dd1 reading the paper and coming out with some concerning questions! They both get effortless 9s for everything word related - that said we are all pretty crap at maths!

The other thing you need to factor in is the shorter school holidays for private school. You will be paying a lot of extra cash out for childcare which isn’t always available in some of the extra weeks the private schools are off. That could really matter for you as a single parent depending on arrangements for custody with the father as a reception-aged child will need childcare. You’re looming at £45-50 a day for 8-6 holiday care.

Next year I will have one of mine in a prep and one in state primary. The one in the prep will have nearly a month off at Easter compared to the 2 weeks in the state school. She will be old enough to potter around the house while I’m working but you couldn’t do that with my younger one.

In your position, I would send your dc to the private school nursery now, and then prioritise the move into an area with good schools. I know you say you can't right now, but plan to make this your priority.

Where I live, state schools are great. My dcs did/are doing better than my friends' dcs in private.

You can't know yet what is best for your not yet one year old. Why not wait and look at the state schools as well?

If your child is genuinely exceptional, they are likely to be a bit bored even at an academic primary school.

My DS is an absolute maths whizz. He also started school able to read (he had read the Hobbit to himself, and understood a fair bit of it). He was still a normal 4yo who needed reminders to put his clothes on the right way round and enjoyed playing with his friends. He is at a state primary, who are doing a decent job of challenging him. It's not perfect, especially in maths, but I accept he still needs to join in the curriculum. He has actually quite enjoyed phonics, as although he can read, he doesn't actually know all the vowel diagraphs. He also challenges himself to write complicated examples!

I sometimes think private school would have been good for him, as they are typically teaching a year ahead. However, given his maths and reading are far more than a year ahead, I don't know if it would have fully challenged him. Neither of my kids particularly loved Reception and preferred the increased structure of year 1, so would have benefitted from a private school that jumped straight to more formal teaching methods, even though that goes against the EYFS. I'm sure Reception did them good in other ways though, in terms of learning to negotiate and so on.

As PP have said, I would be wary of starting something you can't continue. Private school nurseries are often very affordable with the funded hours. It can be hard (emotionally) to change schools for Reception so many stay on. I'd be careful of relying on a plan where you need increased financial assistance. If this doesn't work out, it will make for tough decisions.

In your circumstances I think you would be better off starting in state and continuing to save. You can supplement her learning outside school, as well as encouraging school to stretch her. You can then consider private secondary if needed.

If I wanted to send my kids to private school for part of their education, I’d go for secondary, not primary.

Waste of money, plus the fees go up and up every year at the whim of the school.
we preferred for our children to be educated in a diverse mix of kids, not just the wealthy ones but ultimately it’s your child and your money.

I would agree with this.

Where do you live currently? Schools vary hugely by area, of course all of them will have their issues but the problems you read about on here won’t be the same everywhere.

It’s generally far more beneficial for secondary. That said, you’re in London so you will have plenty of excellent state secondary options. Given that, if I were you I’d consider sending her private in year 4 so that she stands the best possible chance of getting into a ss grammar. You can instil a love of learning at age 2 from home.

You can use the nursery without having to use the school, you just need to decide a term before starting reception and give correct notice to avoid penalty fees. You could start there and see how your situation develops?

when I put my eldest in private prep it was just for nursery as the preschools around us were terrible. I never thought I would afford it right through.

My children both thrived in their tiny preps and we found the money and figured it out. I would still say prep and developing a love for learning is the most important.

However, I have 1 child who managed to transition to state secondary and one that didn’t. So whether that is possible is going to be down to the child.

I would say if you think you can find a way to muddle through give it a go, but either way use the nursery.

You and your brother got grade grades from attending state school. That you didn't go to uni was down to you and your parents. You'll be a better parent hopefully so I fail to see why private school would necessarily be better. Why does she need pushing and stretching?

OP I am pro private school. I teach in them and my kids go to them because both were bullied at their 1000+ comp having been to the prep (years R-6). Both are also ND. I couldn't afford secondary but they developed EBSA and fortunately money became available to bring them back over. Having said all that, it's a HUGE financial commitment and if your DD grows up to be confident, friendly, socially adept etc she will likely be fine at state. Most kids I teach are not turned off school by Y7 . Young kids like learning. I would focus on finding the best school you can, moving if possible/ necessary, support her at home and wait and see. If when she's older (and Y9 is a possible transition point in private secondaries as preps often run up to y8) you could maybe afford 3 years for 9-11 and GCSE if you felt it was needed. Scholarships and bursaries vary widely in their worth and availability .

If you can only afford two years I’d apply for secondary and hope you got a scholarship. Or - keep the money for tutoring, or for the two years of sixth form.

London has broadly good schools. Have you looked at your local primary schools?

I live in an area full of professional / well off parents and they pretty much universally use the state primary schools and try to get their children into private secondary schools.

A private school won’t necessarily have additional tools to respond to her brightness (they will still need to move at the speed of the class).

I could probably afford private prep school but do not think you get value for money vs the local ofsted outstanding primaries who have good success getting children into selective secondaries.

I agree with this excellent post. It’s not unreasonable but it’s too early AND you can’t comfortably or uncomfortably afford private for any length of time.

additionally I went to a strongly academic secondary so had a few “wunderkind” types they struggled in the real world so I would be focusing on the “all rounder” aspect as being super smart is not the road to happiness and contentment

I’d be looking at moving to somewhere with solid state primaries (good or outstanding)
visit this year so you are on catchment in time - that’s all free!
I’d also be looking for areas where by you have a choice of some decent state options eg grammars

save your money for secondary or sixth form.
This is what we are doing. Not that our 13m can say a word yet 😅

My DH and I had families who were v average but with high expectations we did state primaries and both had scholarships/ bursaries for secondary we did well and are happy enough with how it panned out for us which may colour our views iyswim.

If you can afford it I would move to a better area. There are fantastic schools around. We are just about to move ourselves for better high school options

Many private schools have a nursery attached. You could enroll your daughter and get a vibe for the school. Do you have any state grammar schools nearby for secondary education?

Also I would strongly advise that you don’t share your thoughts about your 13 month old being gifted with anyone in real life. People will judge you for it. There is absolutely no way that you can tell if a child that young will be academically gifted. I’d say that my DC academic potential is only really becoming more clear now at aged 10

Have you been into a state secondary school recently? I’d say the portrayal in the recent show adolescence is fairly accurate. By comparison I’d say the behaviour at most primary schools is under control, particularly in the first few years. We recently moved DC to private in year 5. Up until year 2 state primary was absolutely fine, disruptive behaviour started to have an impact from year 3 onwards, although I think this depends on the year group and in many schools I think a state primary is perfectly adequate. I would 100% save your money for private secondary. Even with possible bursary the fees are likely to be significant

I voted YABU.

If you can't afford private all the way through, you should prioritise private secondary school ahead of EYF, KS1 and KS2. Possibly invest in a tutor in Y5 if you are in a grammar area.

This is because during the primary school years, the parents/family unit are more influential on a DC's life - so as long as you are a good, involved parent, you will be able to instil good habits and keep your your DC interested in education, particularly if she's bright.

In secondary, the peer group becomes more important to the child, so having a good, solid, safe environment at school is crucial.

How 'bad' is your local state primary? Why is it 'bad'? My DC went to an awful primary for 1 year when we moved house. We were thinking of private then but we got a place at another school so it wasn't needed. There was a police officer at the school gate for a number of weeks due to parents fighting. There was an alleged knife incident in Y6. It really was bad, however, my DC's teacher and fellow pupils were very good so he wasn't really affected we just didn't want him in that environment.

Have you thought of a religious primary school? Could you start attending a Catholic church? They tend to have better results. My eldest went to a catholic primary before we moved house, even though we aren't religious - it was our closest primary and we got in, we were lucky in our year group that they had a couple of spare spaces.

My DD was absolutely precocious as an infant, I was having full on conversations with her at a year old and thought I had a full on genius on my hands. I could have written your post about her. 80

Once she turned 2 we started to notice some things that gave us cause for concern. Totally stagnated developmentally around age 3 and now we know that she is on the autistic spectrum. She's getting on well in mainstream with quite a bit of additional support.

What I'm trying to say isn't that your DD must be on the spectrum etc. But just to say that childrens progress and development isn't always linear and many state schools can handle SEN/different needs better than private schools are willing to do (there are always exceptions to the rules of course!).

My DD doesn't need stretching or challenging at this point, she needs reassurance, help with social skills and support understanding her work. The fact that her reading outstrips everyone else in her class by a country mile (hyperlexic) doesn't have really any impact.

What do you plan to do in the circa 14-15 weeks a year the nursery is closed for school holidays?