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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my husband acted awfully

132 replies

WHYohwhy12 · 01/04/2025 20:53

Basically found out last week surprise pregnancy. He said it's my body so up to me tho he doesn't want any more kids. Anyway then I have bleeding. Booked to have a scan today. They told me yesterday I was having one today. He said " I was tempted to book it off work" but he didn't ok.

But then I didn't hear from him till he came home from work. The scan was bad news. He works in a office and had a lunch break but didn't message me anything
He keeps saying he's at work so he can't just text me, and on his lunch he met with a colleague he manages, to chat cos they've been upset lately. He meets with him every week one lunch. I asked why he didn't meet him a different day and he says nothing. Then it turns out this man asked him if he wanted to play badminton so that's what he was doing at lunch whilst I was finding out I was having a miscarriage. He keeps sayinv he was at work so doesn't think about me..

Not even when this happens?? He didn't even tell me about the badminton,I found it out. I just think it's pretty shitty but he's still arguing that he did nothing wrong cos he was working and in lunch whilst playing badminton he was talking through now this bloke is getting stressed at work.

I feel like I'm going mad

OP posts:
Zippityjumpingbean · 01/04/2025 21:16

Yep, he was completely crap! I’d really struggle to get past his lack of support.
is he being supportive now?
sorry for your loss.

Oldandcobwebby · 01/04/2025 21:09

I'm so very sorry you are going through this. I hope you are as ok as possible.

And he's not a nice man, is he?

Sportacus17 · 01/04/2025 21:08

Sorry for your loss. He sounds like a complete man-child self-centred cunt. I really despair of men sometimes.

Ineedanotherholidaynow · 01/04/2025 21:05

Yeah that’s shitty behaviour. So sorry for your loss x

FriendsDrinkBook · 01/04/2025 21:04

I'm sorry that this has happened op , and yes , your husband has acted appallingly.

I left exh after a very similar incident involving his lack of care during a miscarriage.

How are you physically now op?

JLou08 · 01/04/2025 21:04

Sorry for your loss. Your DH should have been supporting you.

Lovelytoseethesun · 01/04/2025 21:04

Oh this is so upsetting OP.
He is supposed to be your life partner. The pregnancy is as much his responsibility as yours.
But he wants his life to go on as normal and he put his colleague and his life before you and his unborn child.
I wouldn't be able to look at him the same again OP because you have now found out how little he cares about you.