Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for cutting off my parents?

56 replies

CateHolds93 · 01/04/2025 16:44

I’m currently 6 months pregnant with my first baby and was made redundant 3 weeks ago. I’m a homeowner, and my household relies on two incomes to cover bills, so I’ve been applying for any job I can find, including roles in recruitment (my role before been made redundant) and retail.

When I found out I was pregnant, my partner's parents generously gave us £5K towards our maternity fund and have been incredibly supportive emotionally and financially, despite having their own financial struggles over the years.

However, my relationship with my parents has always been strained. My mum has always struggled with her mental health, she has a habit of turning every conversation back to herself and is overly critical. My dad worked away a lot when I was younger and, when he was home, spent most of his time at the pub or on the golf course.

I’ve never really asked them for financial help as an adult, but I have shared the stress of my current situation. I’ve told my mum about the financial difficulties I’m facing, due to been made redundant before 25 weeks I am not entitled to SMP from my employer, and how hard it’s been to find a job while pregnant. Her response has always been, "Oh, I feel so helpless," but that’s about it. They’re not struggling for money and could help, but I’ve never had the support I need from them, emotionally and on this occasion financially.

So, I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable for thinking about cutting them off entirely. I feel hurt that, despite their financial stability, they haven’t offered anything in my time of need, and I’m starting to feel like I’m better off without them.

OP posts:
Ddakji · 01/04/2025 16:53

That seems a bit of a jump to cut them off.

BlondeMummyto1 · 01/04/2025 16:53

You are being ridiculous. You can’t expect handouts from family unfortunately.

Hercisback1 · 01/04/2025 16:52

Ask them outright first. It might be that her money is controlled somehow?

Springhassprungthesunisout · 01/04/2025 16:51

I'd speak to your DF rather than your DM as it sounds like they had a traditional marriage so assume if you need a loan he'd be the one to provide it. If he says no, then you know where you stand and can make a decision then about how much contact you and the baby have with them in the future.

Elunajeya · 01/04/2025 16:51

Yabu. Have you even asked them properly? Even if they say no, you don’t have a right to have money from them.

Most people don’t get payments from parents and IL’s when they’re made redundant.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/04/2025 16:49

I think yabu, but I understand your reaction

I think you should first come outright and ask them both for help, then see what they say x