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Original poster

Humiliated by work colleague about smelly toilet

85 replies

JadeyGreen · 01/04/2025 14:17

My workplace has a shared toilet - it’s outside the office in a corridor so people can’t see the comings and goings.

Anyway, I noticed this smelt really foul when I went in this morning (no big deal, it’s a toilet after all). As I walked out and opened the door, my colleague was waiting to go in.

A couple of minutes after, my colleague walked back into the office and announced ‘JadeyGreen, what on earth did you have for breakfast? it absolutely stinks in there’

I obviously protested my innocence -
but it was really humiliating in front of the c.15 colleagues who were in work today. We have quite serious roles and this isn’t the sort of comment people usually make.

AIBU to feel offended?

OP posts:
Crazybaby123 · 01/04/2025 17:45

Oh I have worked in a office with a toilet like this. It's horrible. Everytime you need to go it's completely obvious you are going to the toilet and sharing with men in the office is just grim. I feel for you.

Tessiebear2023 · 01/04/2025 17:41

moto748e · 01/04/2025 17:19

Men would make remarks like that about smelly toilets to other men, and no-one would take offence or think anything of it. Women tend to view these matters rather differently.

Really? In a serious office environment? I've never witnessed men do this.

Tessiebear2023 · 01/04/2025 17:40

I can't help finding the side arguments ironic, considering the topic of the thread.

NoTouch · 01/04/2025 17:37

We had a young woman in our workplace who was horrified when she went into the loos and they were a bit whiffy.

Came out exclaiming to the whole department how shocking it was someone had done a poo in a work toilet and that they should only be done at home 🙈🤣

PointsSouth · 01/04/2025 17:24

Thebloodynine · 01/04/2025 16:13

Cited faulty evidence? What is wrong with you?

Show quote history

I think what you meant to type there was 'Oops. Totally got that wrong. Sorry.'

But there are so many typos that it almost looks like you weren't saying that at all.

moto748e · 01/04/2025 17:19

Men would make remarks like that about smelly toilets to other men, and no-one would take offence or think anything of it. Women tend to view these matters rather differently.

Tessiebear2023 · 01/04/2025 17:13

LetTheWindBlowBackYourHair · 01/04/2025 17:04

Some people find it quite normal to talk about smelly poos! If she's a loud mouth, it's possibly normal 'banter' for her and was just having a laugh perhaps?

I live in a house of boys, and at home poo talk and smells/farts talk is regularly talked and laughed about, it's not my idea of a fun but I've ended up joining them as I can't beat them!

However if you really don't like it though you might need to say something, she could be offending other people with other comments thinking it's 'just banter'.

Perhaps she was worried she'd get the blame from the next person and was trying ot shift it on to you?

Same here, but you wouldn't let your boys carry on like that outside of your house, would you? We teach them what's appropriate in different company and situations, for a grown adult to think it's ok to say something like that out loud in an office of people she hardly knows is not 'normal', even for people who think poo jokes are funny.

Bbq1 · 01/04/2025 17:09

MaySea · 01/04/2025 16:57

HR as others have said. It also seems likely that bad smells are caused by him hence the blame distraction and thinking that it's normal to shit out your breakfast within hours.

Op said it was a woman.

Bbq1 · 01/04/2025 17:08

Laughing at all the posters clamouring to have a go at the offender just assuming it was a man. Haha, it was a woman! Bet they all go quiet now because females can do no wrong in some women's eyes.

LetTheWindBlowBackYourHair · 01/04/2025 17:04

Some people find it quite normal to talk about smelly poos! If she's a loud mouth, it's possibly normal 'banter' for her and was just having a laugh perhaps?

I live in a house of boys, and at home poo talk and smells/farts talk is regularly talked and laughed about, it's not my idea of a fun but I've ended up joining them as I can't beat them!

However if you really don't like it though you might need to say something, she could be offending other people with other comments thinking it's 'just banter'.

Perhaps she was worried she'd get the blame from the next person and was trying ot shift it on to you?

Bingbopboomboomboombopbam · 01/04/2025 17:01

I hate toilet humour/references so she’d definitely go on my black list lol

diddl · 01/04/2025 16:59

Tbh if a toilet smelt bad I'd probably warn the next person going in.

That said, some colleagues will likely think she was rude, others probably won't care.

I suppose it goes towards was she doing it deliberately to try & embarrass you?

MaySea · 01/04/2025 16:57

HR as others have said. It also seems likely that bad smells are caused by him hence the blame distraction and thinking that it's normal to shit out your breakfast within hours.

Tessiebear2023 · 01/04/2025 16:55

JadeyGreen · 01/04/2025 16:39

I really don’t know, she hasn’t been with us too long and is a bit of a loud mouth. I’d like to think it was nothing malicious but I’d expect better from a grown adult.

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Her terrible attempt at office banter will have back-fired. I very much doubt anyone else will have found it funny or appropriate in the office. Like I said before, you can hold your head up and act with dignity, do not accept any embarrassment.

Let yourself be annoyed about it today and try to move on. I wouldn't make a complaint at this stage, or draw any more attention to it. However, if she ever says anything else I'd thow it back at her and say loudly, "you do seem to have a nasty habit of opening your mouth and embarrassing yourself, don't you?"

Original poster
JadeyGreen · 01/04/2025 16:39

thepariscrimefiles · 01/04/2025 16:25

Was she just trying to be funny, or do you think she was trying to humiliate you? Is she normally a nice person or a bit of a twat?

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I really don’t know, she hasn’t been with us too long and is a bit of a loud mouth. I’d like to think it was nothing malicious but I’d expect better from a grown adult.

OP posts:
Kingoftheroad · 01/04/2025 16:38

email manager and colleague right now. There’s a serious matter you wish to discuss with both of them present. They f no apology is forthcoming the. Escalate a complaint

Topseyt123 · 01/04/2025 16:38

Very rude and unnecessary of her. Is she normally such a fuckwit?

As soon as you can get a quietish moment with her then I would tell her bluntly that it wasn't you, it wasn't funny, it was very bad mannered and you didn't appreciate it. Tell her to never do it again.

Bogginsthe3rd · 01/04/2025 16:36

I think this is a classic case of your colleague not wanting to be accused of the role of the toxic perfumist and going on the offensive to your detriment. Not nice. Perhaps stool for time and see if she does anything else nasty. If not, let the atmosphere dissipate and remember her card is stained.

Patterncarmen · 01/04/2025 16:35

Woman or man, it was a sh*y comment

MemorableTrenchcoat · 01/04/2025 16:33

Bogginsthe3rd · 01/04/2025 16:30

You assume wrong. Stinky man bashing going on here.

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And now that OP has revealed it was a woman, the replies have almost dried up. Woman-bashing is much less fun!

Bogginsthe3rd · 01/04/2025 16:30

Thebloodynine · 01/04/2025 15:08

She points out that it is a shared toilet; the only reason to say that is to let us know that it is used by men as well so we can assume the person waiting to go in was a man.

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You assume wrong. Stinky man bashing going on here.

LushLemonTart · 01/04/2025 16:29

I immediately thought woman.

Hideous thing to do. Exact revenge!

MemorableTrenchcoat · 01/04/2025 16:27

CoffeeCantata · 01/04/2025 16:22

I feel for you, OP.

One of my pet hates in life is to have to go into a smelly loo and then have the person waiting outside think it's me. But my more rational self knows that gong to the loo and doing a poo is a fact of life and poo can be smelly.

So, horrible though it is to encounter a really stinky loo, it's human life and this man needs to a) get over it and b) have it explained to him that it's the worst possible form to comment on anything to do with other people (outside family) going to the loo. You just don't do it.

Definitely take it further - he needs to learn.

*She needs to learn.

thepariscrimefiles · 01/04/2025 16:25

JadeyGreen · 01/04/2025 15:59

To clarify, it was a woman colleague.

Was she just trying to be funny, or do you think she was trying to humiliate you? Is she normally a nice person or a bit of a twat?

CarrieOnComplaining · 01/04/2025 16:25

Outrageous behaviour.

However if I left a stinky toilet as someone else was entering I would say “It wasn’t me!”