To be angry that my DM rents???

Do you own your own house?

I've never inherited anything either... (I mean I will when my parents die but hopefully that's not for a long time yet).... I didnt sit on my arse and wait for it.
I worked hard. Really hard.
My kids will benefit from me... and they'll likely benefit from my parents too, as I dont need it.

You sound bitter and jealous

DH and I are in our 50s and 60s. We've never inherited a penny. My Mum is still alive, as are DHs parents. There's quite a high chance they will all still be alive in 10 years time, or that any potential inheritance is eaten up in care home fees.

You sound incredibly grabby OP.

I'm sorry that life is so tough right now. It must feel very unfair. What I've noticed is that people tend to compare themselves to people who are better off than them, me included. I've found it can be more helpful to compare yourselves to people less fortunate and to focus on what you have. In your case, having a family, jobs and owning a property are things that many would aspire towards.

OP has said that she and her sibling had an abusive childhood so I hope her mum dies penniless and alone.

This has to be a joke?
I will never inherit anything. My parents are in a council house. But they are happy and housed and that is all that matters.
You sound grabby and entitled. You can change things yourself so your DC inherit from you.

My dad worked his fingers to the bone to pay off his mortgage. His house was worth 250k.

Then he got dementia, so bad that I couldn’t look after him and his house had to be sold and everything went on care fees, and constant replacement hearing aids when the home lost them.

So I inherited nothing. It’s not a given. Life isn’t fair.

Did you ever read the poem “Richard Cory” by Edwin Arlington Robinson? Richard Cory is a good-looking rich man who is the envy of everyone in town. The poem ends,

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Everyone has their problems, even rich people, and you will never know what most of those problems are.

Take out life insurance on your mother and get some for yourself.

I don’t look at my parents as my route to money via inheritance. In fact should they need it every penny can be spent on the best care, just as my grandmother is doing. It’s never guaranteed nor my money to plan for and I’d never be so entitled.

You could stop whining and give thanks that; you have a living parent. You have a husband. You are both healthy enough to work. You have children. You have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, fuel to cook the food you can afford to buy. Fresh drinking water on tap. No civil war decimating your country and making it unsafe to live there. You live.

I always say this, but I'll say it again - it is not possible for everyone to have a high paying job, and that is not the fault of people in low paying jobs.

Comparison is the thief of joy, OP.

Really grabby OP. My grandparents lived in poverty and rented all their lives, when they got an OAP council bungalow in the 1980s they thought all their dreams had come true, I am not lying when I say the inside bathroom and hot and cold running water was beyond their wildest expectations.

My parents saved and saved and saved and dad was a great tradesman, they bought a doer upper and lived all their lives in a three bed semi. Dad went into care before passing away. I may or may not inherit something depending upon care for mum. If there's anything left it would be shared three ways.

If I do I would be the first generation in my family to do so.

Your children will likely be the first generation to do so, they are just one generation to receive an inheritance behind mine.

It is spectacularly unfair. The whole system is rigged to ensure that those who are born into privilege retain that privilege, at the cost of everyone else. The most extreme example being landed gentry, but it applies across a huge range of financial situations. My husband and I have been gifted over £100k in total through a mixture of inheritance and other family gifts. Nothing recent, so that amount was worth a lot more when we got it than it would be now. It’s a massive advantage, as is the fact that we both spent time in private schools. I do at least try to be aware of my privilege and am generous where I can.

Well I could say you’re lucky you got to have children AND own a house even though it’s hard financially right now.

I got an inheritance after both my parents died when I was in my early 30s. (Not millions by the way. Not even close) I have since spent 10s of thousands of it on IVF. None of which worked. So I have nothing to show for it and I’m now too old to have children. So the inheritance is pretty much gone.

However some people will be infertile and never be able to afford any IVF. At least it meant I got to try.

Others are terrible parents who abuse their children and yet can have loads of kids without even trying.

Others have children easily AND get millions in inheritance.

I also made a career choice (medical) meaning my pay will never be that good. My friend went into a low level business job and is now earning over 150k a year. I could say that’s not fair when my job is actually really stressful helping people medically and she works from home having meetings all day. She’s also had 2 children easily and still has her parents who are healthy and she’s in her late 40s. Plus she’ll likely inherit their large house. But, that’s life. Some things seem unfair. But life is unfair. I don’t begrudge her what she’s got even though I wish i was her.

God almighty, OP. I won’t inherit a penny from my parents as they have never owned a home and don’t have any significant assets and guess what? I couldn’t give a shit. The last thing I’m worried about when they die is money, I’m more concerned about the crippling grief that I’m in for.

I think you will do well to start putting things into perspective and learning to find gratitude elsewhere because you cannot control your lack of inheritance and being annoyed about it won’t change it.

@Ohioatdawn Ok, you win the prize for the most selfish-self pitying post on MN so far.
Unless it's you Hazza, and you're looking for material for your next book...
I'm not 5'7", so bloody 'unfair'.

Life is not a game of hockey. There are no rules about fairness and no umpire. Most of us just do the best we can.

"We live in a tiny house cos it's all we could afford. Got no parental help with buying it. "

I expect your Mother would have liked to buy her own home, had parental help - but you think she should prioritise buying you a home with money she clearly doesn't have?

Some people are weird.

I don’t know anyone nowadays who has received a huge inheritance. It all goes on care now.

Welcome to real life.

There will always be someone richer and someone poorer.

Be grateful for what you do have, which is more than I and many others have had at points in there life.

I was homeless for a short time and I didn't resent people who had homes. Being bitter about what you don't have will only make you miserable. Focus on what you can do to improve your situation and enjoy your life, otherwise you'll waste it.

After reading your update, I apologise for my comments. Way too harsh. I am sorry you had an abusive childhood and it clearly has had an impact on ypur state of mind. Hope things get better for you.

I understand being angry at the general unfairness of the system. It is luck of the draw but I get it. We live in an area where a lot of families are quite savvy and make large financial gifts to their children early part in lieu of inheritance.

This enables them to buy rather large houses to live in in their 30s and 40s. They often then will inherit part of a £800,000-£1.5 million house on top of that. these houses were bought for a fraction of that cost in the 70s/80s/90s.

By comparison we've had some financial bad luck recently so it stings a bit. I'm actually realising as well that we aren't better off having bought our home as we are living in a house which is too small for us with a disabled child, I've had to give up work and so we have no way of upgrading despite desperately needing an additional bedroom. That's a bitter pill to swallow!

I get what you’re saying OP. Some things are luck of the draw like @Comedycook is suggesting but you’re talking about entrenched inherited wealth which the government do have the option of upping IHT/otherwise redistributing as otherwise the cards are stacked against those not in the position to inherit and it’s a long slog to accrue assets if you don’t have a financial head start. Sounds as if you’re making in-roads and good that you’re wanting to help your kids out.