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Original poster

Husbands messages to a friend

211 replies

PRGirlUK · 01/04/2025 13:54

Here's a message exchange between my husband and what was one of my close friends. I became aware of it as I watched it come through live on a computer I was using, which was synced to his phone he was using downstairs.

Husband - Oi [name of friend] how are you? X
Friend – Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X
Husband - Good ta beautiful: you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X
Friend - My god damn arse will be out tomoz. Is you??
Husband - Hell yeah, look forward to seeing you. X
Friend - Don't get too excited only ickle pikey me lol. Will be good night looking forward
to seeing yas all x
Husband - You is all any man needs. Yum. X
Friend - Pfffffff yeah. Know of any spare ones
Husband - No just me.
Friend - Hmmmmmm
Husband - Your call eventually
Friend - Wat is?????
Husband - Nothing. See you tomorrow. X
Friend - Have a drink poppet x

I saw the friend the next day and she did not mention it. When I eventually challenged my husband he brushed it off as nothing and just banter, effectively minimising the impact it had on me, and that it was in my head that there was anything wrong with it. To me it is unacceptable and devastated me. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Emilyjayne9421 · 01/04/2025 14:01

brombatz · 01/04/2025 13:59

Yeah, puts her in a very difficult situation...

I agree but if my friends husband messaged me like this I wouldn’t have replied with the last message with a kiss on the end. I’d be shocked and disgusted. It almost seems like this has happened before and she’s used to him talking to her like this.

Wildywondrous · 01/04/2025 14:00

In my eyes it's cheating, my husband did something similar but with a stranger and our marriage hasn't been the same since.
It's an emotional affair.

If your friend said yes to meeting up with her secretly he'd be there like a shot.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 01/04/2025 14:00

A) that message exchange is as cringey as it gets

B) your friend likes her kisses at the end of messages to her friends husband, doesn’t she?

C) what’s your personal situation eg kids mortgage money etc? I’d not like that at all and would be looking to end the relationship if possible. I understand it isn’t always possible right now though.

DorothywiththeRedShoes · 01/04/2025 14:00

I've had the same sort of thing happen to me. He is fishing and telling her is available.
But she hasn't shut him down and a friend would have.

Like your DH mine minimised it and I let it go. With hindsight I think something did happen between them. Long story but I cut her off years ago and I still think about it.

You have every right to be devastated and it is totally unacceptable. X

mydogfarts · 01/04/2025 14:00

He's chasing her.
And if thats how they actually message I'd be dumping him for his dire texting never mind his obvious intent to cheat

brombatz · 01/04/2025 13:59

Yeah, puts her in a very difficult situation...

ItsjElliebaby · 01/04/2025 13:59

Yeah your husband sounds like an ash*e.

ArtTheClown · 01/04/2025 13:58

Oh wow. He's trying to fire into her bigtime. It's all him as well.

loropianalover · 01/04/2025 13:57

The grammar and spelling alone would have me reeling.

Emilyjayne9421 · 01/04/2025 13:57

This is flirting/actively pursuing something more than friendship in my eyes. Has can dress it up as banter all he wants. So sorry.

As an aside the way they speak from a vocabulary point is really annoying and they need to learn how to speak. 😉 I hope you are ok.

ButThisIsMyHappyFace · 01/04/2025 13:56

She’s not interested, but he definitely is. Sorry OP.

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