Husbands messages to a friend

Why is your close friend going out for a drink one to one with your DH (unless I've misread)? Anyway, he wants to get into her knickers and she isn't rushing to shut him down. I'd bin both of them.

Yeah your friend is either too shy to tell you, likes the attention or is into him too. I would say to her that I am really upset as I suspect my husband may be cheating on me or at the very least pursuing other women and see what she says. If she says nothing I would then ask if she has ever seen him act strangely or flirt with other women. How she answers will determine what her game is. Definitely dump your husband either way, he’s trying to cheat and likely has cheated before.

Nailed it

It's gross

I'm very laid back about my DH's female friendships and I have absolutely no problem with him meeting females friends, messaging them etc.
However this is awful! He's made it very clear that he fancies her, that he thinks she's beautiful and that he'd love to be with her. I'm not sure I could ever forgive DH for sending these types of messages. It's not friendship - it's very sexual and his intentions are clear.

What language is that?

I would dump him and her for speaking like a couple illiterate teenagers let alone the inappropriate manner.

Well who needs enemies with friends like this! And your husband is a twat.

Definitely looking to cheat and I think I would end my relationship over this, unless there's some additional context and your friendship group all communicate with each other like this.

I'd also be carefully sounding out my friend to see if she's in a awkward position, or if she's part of the problem.

Sorry OP, how awful for you

Epic ick from the grammar, for sure.

They sound very very familiar with each other, like this style of messaging is a thing they have done before. Does he message you or anyone else with the Ali G mixed with baby talk stuff?
Sorry OP. He's hugely trying it on. She's not completely shutting it down.

Sorry OP. Totally unacceptable and I would have him out the door. He is definitely looking to cheat. I'd also be equally upset that my 'friend' hadn't told me.

Your husband is a complete arse! He’s clearly flirting with your friend and she seems to be batting him away. Maybe she didn’t mention it to you because she didn’t want to upset you and rock the boat?

That is your husband flirting with your friend and trying to get her to cheat with him.

This is not necessarily her fault and she may have been too afraid to tell you.

However the first lot of messages look like they have done this before

the final half look like she is possibly being careful about what info she texts in case you find it and it’s incriminating

I think a good friend would have shut the conversation down much better- saying ‘you have a wife’!!!

Alreet? Newcastle charvas?

This. How can he possibly try to convince you that this is “banter” ??

A good, honest husband wouldn't do that.

A good, honest friend would tell you that he had.

This is very disrespectful and disloyal on his part! You need to have a serious discussion about this with him, completely unacceptable and also creepy for your friend.

'Ickle' alone made me want to vomit.

That said OP, they're both flirting, although your husband seems to be driving this. I'd be furious with them both - your husband is revolting and your friend should have told you.

They're both scummy. Him for trying to shag someone else behind your back, her for not shutting it down immediately and telling you.

Is your husband Ali G? 'You is all any man needs' 😷

I don't actually think she's entertaining it, but she didn't tell you. I'm guessing she feels awkward. I'd ask her what else has been said because I can guarantee this isn't the first time he's text her!

This. How do you not have the ultimate ick? The pair of them sound like two illiterate teenagers trying to sound “cool”.

YANBU. He is gaslighting you.

He called her beautiful twice in one message, this not innocent or just being friendly.

The message where he said “your choice eventually” sounds like he has already made some sort of pass at her previously. It would seem from her response that she may well have just brushed it off the previous time or maybe just not responded. This time however she replies with “what?” and given her less then enthusiastic response to his message he clearly didn’t care to explain himself.

I don’t know what to say about her, as she could have not told you about any passes he made at her to protect your feelings and perhaps protect the friendship group/dynamic. She perhaps figured if she didn’t mention it, it would just go away/he would give up. That said, she still seems a bit too chatty for my liking if she is indeed trying to give him the polite brush off. That does make me question if something did indeed happen in the past and she put a stop to or made it clear it was a mistake/one off, but it’s clear that he would have liked it to continue/is trying to carry it on.

He is a complete snake!!! I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. It is NOT innocent, certainly not from his side at least!!!

I am a man. I wouldn't send this type of exchange even if I was single. Boak 🤮

As a married man, even less so. Completely disrespectful. Friend doesn't exactly come out of it looking especially dignified either.

They are both morons. Get rid of them

I am not exaggerating when I say that I would leave a partner if I saw him send messages like that to any woman, let alone a friend of mine.

Calling her beautiful and referring to her beautiful arse is inappropriate. And the line about her being 'all a man needs' and 'yum'. Ew.

He was definitely looking to see whether she would be up for it. They way your friend replied suggested it's probably not the first time he has spoken to her like this.

He's an absolute creep and your friends are probably wary of him.

Unless they usually speak like that, they have their special lickle pickle language. I'd speak to her in real life like that and tell her why