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Original poster

Husbands messages to a friend

211 replies

PRGirlUK · 01/04/2025 13:54

Here's a message exchange between my husband and what was one of my close friends. I became aware of it as I watched it come through live on a computer I was using, which was synced to his phone he was using downstairs.

Husband - Oi [name of friend] how are you? X
Friend – Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X
Husband - Good ta beautiful: you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X
Friend - My god damn arse will be out tomoz. Is you??
Husband - Hell yeah, look forward to seeing you. X
Friend - Don't get too excited only ickle pikey me lol. Will be good night looking forward
to seeing yas all x
Husband - You is all any man needs. Yum. X
Friend - Pfffffff yeah. Know of any spare ones
Husband - No just me.
Friend - Hmmmmmm
Husband - Your call eventually
Friend - Wat is?????
Husband - Nothing. See you tomorrow. X
Friend - Have a drink poppet x

I saw the friend the next day and she did not mention it. When I eventually challenged my husband he brushed it off as nothing and just banter, effectively minimising the impact it had on me, and that it was in my head that there was anything wrong with it. To me it is unacceptable and devastated me. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Charlize43 · 01/04/2025 18:04

Did your husband (and his friend) do GCSE English or Functional English Level 2? Are these people non native English speakers? Also what country are they from.

Just trying to get some context.

LoyalHiker · 01/04/2025 17:55

This is way more than friendly banter in my opinion.

Would he be ok with you texting this type of thing to one of his mates?

loveforautumn · 01/04/2025 17:46

If it was me I'd kick him out. He clearly wants her and although your friend doesn't seem interested she hasnt really stopped him, something must of happened or been said for him to message her in that way in. You'll be constantly thinking what he's upto when he's out now.

RealEagle · 01/04/2025 17:38

OP was you invited to this drink?

Gelatibon · 01/04/2025 17:37

I think the last line is her telling him she thinks he's talking to her like this because he's had a drink.

GoodEnoughParents · 01/04/2025 17:36

Emilyjayne9421 · 01/04/2025 14:01

I agree but if my friends husband messaged me like this I wouldn’t have replied with the last message with a kiss on the end. I’d be shocked and disgusted. It almost seems like this has happened before and she’s used to him talking to her like this.

Show quote history

^^ this
He's been at it before

Cucy · 01/04/2025 17:34

Eww

I’d ditch him for trying to claim he’s single and acting so desperate around her.

And I’d ditch her for the gross replies, talking like she’s 5 a year old.

Winifredtabago · 01/04/2025 17:30

Is this a real thread OP? Or just a wind up

Nanny0gg · 01/04/2025 17:28

He's not sliding into her DMs, he's running full tilt

Nanny0gg · 01/04/2025 17:28

Gelatibon · 01/04/2025 17:10

I disagree with those complaining about the language/grammar. I think of these were two single people enjoying a flirtation, it's quite well done!

She's uncomfortable and trying to laugh it off and be nice, as women are conditioned to do.

Envy
Shoxfordian · 01/04/2025 17:27

They're both totally out of order

Sassybooklover · 01/04/2025 17:24

Look at your friend's replies, none of them suggest she's interested in your husband. All the flirting is coming from your husband - calling her beautiful, saying she's the only woman a man needs etc. She's responding to his flirting with humour. She says she's 'looking forward to seeing you all'. Not him. The only term of endearment she uses is 'poppet', and that could be normal for her, she may call everyone poppet. Your husband is definitely flirting with your friend, and if she encouraged him, he wouldn't say no. I can't see that she's encouraging his behaviour, she's politely shutting down any flirting. If it was me, I would tell her that you'd seen the messages and you're very unhappy with your husband's attempt to flirt with her, as it's disrespectful to you, her and her husband (assuming she has one) and you've had words. Of course your husband is minimising the messages, he knows perfectly well what he has been trying (in vain!) to do.

ConnieSlow · 01/04/2025 17:15

loropianalover · 01/04/2025 13:57

The grammar and spelling alone would have me reeling.

Same ! Leave these two uneducated fools to be op. The conversation was inappropriate and cringe

Gelatibon · 01/04/2025 17:10

I disagree with those complaining about the language/grammar. I think of these were two single people enjoying a flirtation, it's quite well done!

She's uncomfortable and trying to laugh it off and be nice, as women are conditioned to do.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 01/04/2025 17:09

AreolaGrande · 01/04/2025 14:09

They both type like they've recently been lobotomised.

And yep he's trying to shag her.

Yep.

he 💯 is fishing and if he hasn’t cheated on you already with someone will do in the future

DurbevillesGirl2 · 01/04/2025 17:06

He’s trying it on and she’s brushing him off while trying to maintain the friendship but feels very awkward. Same thing happened between my sister’s husband and I, and my sister wrongly blamed me when I just didn’t want to ruin the family by telling him to F off like I should have in hindsight. Your husband needs to go.

Mumof3confused · 01/04/2025 17:05

Absolutely hideous! I wouldn’t have two words to say to a man who A) texts another woman like this when married and B) is this illiterate (unless he had a good reason but this seems by choice)

Clapometer · 01/04/2025 17:04

He is way over the line and she’s not exactly discouraging it. Don’t let him minimise it.

ForestFox44 · 01/04/2025 17:01

Gross... he wants her... she's not interested but she still should have told him to fuck off! He's disgusting and the way he texts is so cringey

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 01/04/2025 16:57

He's trying to fuck her

Gelatibon · 01/04/2025 16:56

Oh, Husband is chasing her, she knows/suspects that, isn't interested but trying to be nice.

Mama1980 · 01/04/2025 16:54

Your husband sounds awful I’m so sorry. Your friend sounds like she’s in a awkward spot, and although bantering with you husband isn’t crossing the line yet.
I would go to her and give her a chance to explain. No ambiguity about what he’s suggesting though I’m afraid.

Uberella · 01/04/2025 16:53

Your husband basically propositioned her and was really flirting with her.

The friend to give credit where credit is due has brushed him off and hasn’t flirted back.

keep the friend ditch the husband as he’s trying to cheat on you.

AgnesX · 01/04/2025 16:49

The friend's getting a slagging which is a bit unfair. She's trying to sideswipe the crap. It's all on his side.

Either way the conversation is tacky.

AmHat1 · 01/04/2025 16:43

Did the drinks that she had to get her beautiful arse out for go ahead? Were you there?
I would divorce my husband for the 'yum' bit alone! So cringey!
I would send him a link to this thread if he continues to shut you down.

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