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Original poster

Husbands messages to a friend

211 replies

PRGirlUK · 01/04/2025 13:54

Here's a message exchange between my husband and what was one of my close friends. I became aware of it as I watched it come through live on a computer I was using, which was synced to his phone he was using downstairs.

Husband - Oi [name of friend] how are you? X
Friend – Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X
Husband - Good ta beautiful: you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X
Friend - My god damn arse will be out tomoz. Is you??
Husband - Hell yeah, look forward to seeing you. X
Friend - Don't get too excited only ickle pikey me lol. Will be good night looking forward
to seeing yas all x
Husband - You is all any man needs. Yum. X
Friend - Pfffffff yeah. Know of any spare ones
Husband - No just me.
Friend - Hmmmmmm
Husband - Your call eventually
Friend - Wat is?????
Husband - Nothing. See you tomorrow. X
Friend - Have a drink poppet x

I saw the friend the next day and she did not mention it. When I eventually challenged my husband he brushed it off as nothing and just banter, effectively minimising the impact it had on me, and that it was in my head that there was anything wrong with it. To me it is unacceptable and devastated me. Thoughts?

OP posts:
AlwaysTheRenegade · 01/04/2025 23:27

How long have you been friends with the girl? He's an arsehole, 100% . But she didn't really put him off. Could have at least said something after the "yum" part Envy I don't think I would have replied at all after that. Sorry you had to see that xx

AlwaysTheRenegade · 01/04/2025 23:23

Get rid of them both.

Crikeyalmighty · 01/04/2025 23:18

im definitely getting Jeremy Kyle vibes here

eyesoncctv · 01/04/2025 23:01

”YUM” 🤢 Bin them both, OP!

AliBaliBee1234 · 01/04/2025 22:54

I would have thrown him out or left. The absolute disrespect!!

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 01/04/2025 22:54

Ali G in da house?

CaffeineNChaos · 01/04/2025 22:51

loropianalover · 01/04/2025 13:57

The grammar and spelling alone would have me reeling.

This.

but in all seriousness he’s actively looking to cheat he just needs someone to say yes. You don’t talk like that to someone who your not pursuing

TheGentleOpalMember · 01/04/2025 22:50

Husband - you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X

Husband - Your call eventually

He is offering himself to her. He's a cheating bastard, and she is scum for flirting with a married man especially the husband of her friend.

What sort of married man says to another woman your beautiful arse

They are both trash, sorry OP.

Isthiswhatmenthink · 01/04/2025 22:47

She previously told my H that he would be her H one day

Fucking hell. Total pair of cunts. I’m really sorry, OP. The pair of illiterate twats are welcome to each other.

k1233 · 01/04/2025 22:47

Does he talk like that in real life? It's awful.

You're not overreacting. It's not bants. It's a sleaze looking for an opportunity.

TheJinxMinx · 01/04/2025 22:40

He actively propositioned her offering an affair or some sort of relationship saying your call. She is also actively engaging in this when he says beautiful etc she doesn't once mention you or mention thats not appropriate. I'm sorry OP that is not friend or darling husband. Its easy to sit behind a keyboard and say get rid of both but really you deserve so much better dont let him be-little what you say and what it really is. You know the truth deep down dont just accept it do something about it

Superfoodie123 · 01/04/2025 22:29

This isn't flirting or banter he's literally telling her he wants her. Sorry OP- based on his use of language and behaviour I'd say you're better off

cocoromo · 01/04/2025 22:16

I would dump him for the way he texts alone. Well rid.

loropianalover · 01/04/2025 22:06

ItGhoul · 01/04/2025 22:05

I’m amazed that people are enough to think that the friend isn’t enjoying this. That is absolutely not someone trying to shut down the flirting. She’s deliberately doing just enough to keep him interested.

I agree. Plus OP’s update that people seem to have missed.

Sadly not a joke. All true. She previously told my H that he would be her H one day

ItGhoul · 01/04/2025 22:05

I’m amazed that people are enough to think that the friend isn’t enjoying this. That is absolutely not someone trying to shut down the flirting. She’s deliberately doing just enough to keep him interested.

PinataHeeHaw · 01/04/2025 22:04

Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X

Her words and grammar are awful. She's made me feel sick.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 01/04/2025 22:02

She could have just not replied ! Or emoji liked his last one to finish the exchange. I mean come on…. Seriously? You think that isn’t engaging?

Eenameenadeeka · 01/04/2025 21:59

This is all him, she sounds like she's shutting him down and he's not picking it up. She says, it's only me, then says seeing you all, like she's shifting it as a group thing and then saying any spares -I assume she's asking if there will be single men? He keeps bringing it back to her but she's pushing him away.
I'd absolutely leave him in any case, that's disgusting from a married man and I'd not want to be with a man who spoke like that, even playfully it's gross.
She should have told you what he's doing but she didn't seem interested in him based on this interaction.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 01/04/2025 21:57

Don’t think poppet is ever used in Sco… NE England, maybe…

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 01/04/2025 21:55

Everyone saying she isn’t interested… Yeah, right… ! She isn’t exactly closing it down is she?! Come on.

OP, I’m sorry, this is shitty.

ChaliceinWonderland · 01/04/2025 21:51

Oldandcobwebby · 01/04/2025 14:05

A. He is married and is behaving absolutely appallingly.
B. He seems to be barely literate.

You need a different husband.
You also need a different friend.

Nails it

Thulpelly · 01/04/2025 21:50

DorothywiththeRedShoes · 01/04/2025 14:00

I've had the same sort of thing happen to me. He is fishing and telling her is available.
But she hasn't shut him down and a friend would have.

Like your DH mine minimised it and I let it go. With hindsight I think something did happen between them. Long story but I cut her off years ago and I still think about it.

You have every right to be devastated and it is totally unacceptable. X

The friend here is trying to minimise/brush off OP’s husband’s flirting… she is not interested.
It’s all him.

redsun246 · 01/04/2025 21:48

They are both revolting.

Gemmawemma9 · 01/04/2025 21:43

I honestly truly can’t believe you’re even having to ask. Wow.

Reddog1 · 01/04/2025 21:40

I still don’t think she sounds that interested, even after your update OP. I think she enjoys the attention and banter about being together one day but in this exchange she is stopping short of suggesting a drink on their own, which is what he was angling for. She shouldn’t be getting involved with his nonsense though, she should be shutting it down. And he, needless to say, is despicable. You can’t trust or rely on either.

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