Husbands messages to a friend

They’re both repulsive, how anyone could find either of them attractive with that vom inducing child-like language I will never understand. You are clearly well rid, I am impressed with the speed at which you’ve come to the conclusion that neither are worth any more of your time. You sound strong and I’ve no doubt you will be fine.

You've made a tough decision, that's amazing and brave. I wish you strength, and clarity of thought as you go forwards.
It's such a shock to be let down by those who are supposed to have your back, but your life will be better without them, even if it seems like it won't.
Stay strong!

Lots of bum talk there, is that the vernacular amongst kids around your way?
Your husband needs to grow up.

If he wouldn't talk to her like that in front of you, it looks like he's after her.

I speak to my friend's wife like that (without the atrocious grammar), but she and my friend talk to me like that too. It's a joke, and it is obvious to anyone who knows us that it's a joke.

In this case I don't think that applies.

he had his head turned - sorry OP

Perhaps they are collaborating on a script for an adult Haribo advert

Intends to cheat, extremely likely to cheat in the future, has zero respect for you. The fact you had to show the exchange to other people to get validation suggests he gaslighted the f* out of you when confronted. Awful man. So sorry OP, you do not deserve this 💕

I can tell you that in twenty years of marriage, i've never called another woman beautiful, or being called a pet name by one. If i want to show warmth or familiarity to a female friend, i use words like "mate" or "buddy", and i do it fairly consciously to maintain the boundry for everyone. My wife would be just heartbroken if i'd sent these messages.

I don’t know what I find worse, the wording or the pursuing of your friend. If it were my (incredibly literate) husband I’d be tearing him a new one over how dense he sounds, let alone being a faithless twat.

You deserve better. Show him these responses after he gaslights you.

She is also interested, this is not one-way traffic.
And why is your husband exchanging messages with your friends? That's very strange

She’s joking along with him because she is used to having this kind of banter with him -and I am guessing with you too, op. She doesn’t want to have to tell him straight that she isn’t interested as she doesn’t want to move the chat into serious territory. However the “wat is????” suggests genuine shock. The question marks function as exclamations! When she says “yas all” she is deliberately bringing op into the equation, making it clear that this meeting will be with all 3, but it suggests that all 3 are used to talking to each other like this. Is that the case, op?

Her parting shot exhorting him to have a drink shows not only that she isn’t interested but that she thinks he has overstepped.

That’s my analysis. Even though I fancy myself as a linguist I am far from being one.

I wouldn't stay married to anyone based on that alone. The fact he wants to get into her pants is secondary. Ditto for friend. They'd be welcome to their ridiculous baby talk.

That isn't banter from this barely literate chump, he obviously wants to shag her.

But she is no friend either as a decent one would shut that shit down immediately.

What is your situation op? Do you have children? Are you able to get those ducks in a row?

Nothing would make me stay with this disgraceful thicko for a day longer than I had to.

The language and grammar alone was criminal!
They sort of sound the same . Maybe you could do better OP?

You were there
you were the person eating you are the person who has had an ED so you know if it's a binge or not.
I don't personally think that's a binge as you say it's an off day but it's not a binge (I also know what a binge is sadly)
perhaps talk to him about how some words can be triggering for you

He’s testing the water, if she’s up for it I’d say he most likely would be. The language he uses is unacceptably provocative.

I don’t know how you deal with this, 2 people close to you, one the absolute closest and you read this. I’d hazard a guess say she’s being polite, what he thinks he’s doing heaven only knows, but it’s nowhere, nowhere close to ok.

How are you doing now, @PRGirlUK?

I’d screen shot the message, correct the spelling and grammar and send it to them both

seriously though, I’m sorry this is happening Op. Massively sleazy behaviour on your husbands part, and your friend clearly likes the attention.

She said that - oh dear. Even in jest/ humour i can’t a situation where that would be a non out of order comment. On top of your husband being a tool/ deceitful/ gaslighter/ liar, your pal also isn’t your pal. I’m sorry lovely this is going on/ happened - and come back on here if want any further support. Take care X

Your husband is a player.

So he's going spare and it's just up to her now? I'd kick him so far out of my life he wouldn't bounce for at least half a mile. What an absolute rat. If you need binbags to put his stuff in then send me your address and I'll nip into B&M on the way.

Oh wow OP that’s awful. Whilst I agree it’s one sided, I think your friend should have shut it down or not replied. I wouldn’t be happy with either of them

@PRGirlUK, how long ago and under what circumstances did Friend tell your H that he would be her H some day? He sounds enchanted with her, and is waiting on her to give him the green light for some action. In the meantime they enjoy a sparky, ego-boosting dynamic that makes a mockery of you. Have they been meeting up 1:1 or pairing up when in a group?

I was just rereading his despicable responses to your pain. Instead of showing remorse for approaching Friend to drool over and proposition her, he protected their relationship by trashing your valid feelings, claiming harmless banter (it’s not), and shifting the blame to your being unreasonable (you’re not).

Next he’ll be rewriting history to justify his transgressions and to swerve taking responsibility for his destructive choices.

What is your family/living situation, @PRGirlUK? Do you have a plan?

So sorry I didn't see your update. She's an absolute dickhead saying that. Your husband's a twat. How long ago did she say that? Unforgivable