Husbands messages to a friend

PRGirlUK · 2025-04-01T12:54:32+00:00

Here's a message exchange between my husband and what was one of my close friends. I became aware of it as I watched it come through live on a computer I was using, which was synced to his phone he was using downstairs. Husband - Oi [name of friend] how are you? X Friend – Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X Husband - Good ta beautiful: you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X Friend - My god damn arse will be out tomoz. Is you?? Husband - Hell yeah, look forward to seeing you. X Friend - Don't get too excited only ickle pikey me lol. Will be good night looking forward to seeing yas all x Husband - You is all any man needs. Yum. X Friend - Pfffffff yeah. Know of any spare ones Husband - No just me. Friend - Hmmmmmm Husband - Your call eventually Friend - Wat is????? Husband - Nothing. See you tomorrow. X Friend - Have a drink poppet x I saw the friend the next day and she did not mention it. When I eventually challenged my husband he brushed it off as nothing and just banter, effectively minimising the impact it had on me, and that it was in my head that there was anything wrong with it. To me it is unacceptable and devastated me. Thoughts?

NotThisShitAgain121 · 11/06/2025 21:28

He is on the pull - fuck him off!

Marmiv87 · 21/04/2025 16:34

Sneaky but….change the contact details he has for her in his phone to your name ! change your WhatsApp profie pic to something generic a sunset or something not to give anything away.

Then start messaging him some flirty messgages test the water a little bit and you will see how far her takes it ! X

he sounds vile, and your mate no better, I would also need to confront your so called friend and ask why she didn’t shut him down or let you know he was a creep.

MsDogLady · 04/04/2025 18:11

Will also be divorcing.

@PRGirlUK, have you informed him of this yet or does he believe that he has successfully swerved having any consequences for his faithless behavior?

healthybychristmas · 04/04/2025 10:56

Nanny0gg · 01/04/2025 17:28

He's not sliding into her DMs, he's running full tilt

This really made me laugh. Absolutely true.

SillySeal · 04/04/2025 10:31

I'm sorry things ended the way they have. However just wanted to say I admire your strength to know you deserve more that what your H and F did to you.

Good luck with everything and I hope H doesn't cause too much issue with the divorce and your break is as clean as it can be.

Rosie8880 · 03/04/2025 17:21

PRGirlUK · 03/04/2025 07:05

Thank you all for your kind words. This exchange happened a little while ago but I have been reeling since, especially as I thought we were in a good place. It has been good to get validation as I have been questioning my sanity. I don't believe the F is innocent here, to me I read her replies as wanting him to spell it out for her own ego. I would have shut it down immediately if it happened to me. The update is that after 20 years of marriage, the trust and respect has gone, and I have been left humiliated. I won't be having any more contact with the F, can't be arsed to tell her why, I don't want to waste my valuable energy on that tbh. Will also be divorcing. It's sad but in a way I'm glad I have had my eyes opened. I 100 per cent know I will be okay. And stronger. Much love 🙏

Twenty years… wow thought he was a thought younger, at most mid 20s. Only you know what you feel and what you want. His response to you wanting to speak about this tbh nailed it - he wasn’t aghast, or apologetic nor listened to your feelings and considered these. From what you have written he seems flippant, dismissive and uncaring. Make sure you gather all the information and advice you need - legal/ finance before you make any moves. Don’t let him have a head start to get his house and affairs in order. And never leave the house - aka do not move out. Now your head is clearer, and you have taken control you will feel each day, better. Know this is some way off, but just imagine the kind of man you could be with in the future who will respect you, listen to you, adore you and demonstrate this to you. ❤️

commonsense61 · 03/04/2025 15:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Crikeyalmighty · 03/04/2025 14:07

Thing is if you’ve been married 20 years this couple can hardly be that young - more likely mid to late 40s at minimum- but trying to sound 21 and down wiv da kids-rather pathetic

JHound · 03/04/2025 13:59

Reading that made my head hurt.

SmoothEncounter · 03/04/2025 13:41

ButThisIsMyHappyFace · 01/04/2025 13:56

She’s not interested, but he definitely is. Sorry OP.

First post nails it. He’s chasing, she’s trying to friend zone him.

BeckyBismuth · 03/04/2025 11:18

PRGirlUK · 03/04/2025 07:05

Thank you all for your kind words. This exchange happened a little while ago but I have been reeling since, especially as I thought we were in a good place. It has been good to get validation as I have been questioning my sanity. I don't believe the F is innocent here, to me I read her replies as wanting him to spell it out for her own ego. I would have shut it down immediately if it happened to me. The update is that after 20 years of marriage, the trust and respect has gone, and I have been left humiliated. I won't be having any more contact with the F, can't be arsed to tell her why, I don't want to waste my valuable energy on that tbh. Will also be divorcing. It's sad but in a way I'm glad I have had my eyes opened. I 100 per cent know I will be okay. And stronger. Much love 🙏

HE should be humiliated not you. HE is the idiot who writes such crap you need subtitles to understand it and behaves like a sleaze.

Ihavepandassurvivalinstinct · 03/04/2025 10:48

lacefan · 03/04/2025 10:21

haha this- just reading that made me feel a bit queasy.

He's hardly James Bond is he? he's chasing her and she's not interested. However, I do think she should have shut him down immediately, I would have.

Show quote history

I don't think she is not interested tbh

blackbird77 · 03/04/2025 10:27

AreolaGrande · 01/04/2025 14:09

They both type like they've recently been lobotomised.

And yep he's trying to shag her.

This. Get rid of him for his cringe text banter alone and his for his inability to talk like a sentient organism.

lacefan · 03/04/2025 10:21

mydogfarts · 01/04/2025 14:00

He's chasing her.
And if thats how they actually message I'd be dumping him for his dire texting never mind his obvious intent to cheat

haha this- just reading that made me feel a bit queasy.

He's hardly James Bond is he? he's chasing her and she's not interested. However, I do think she should have shut him down immediately, I would have.

MoshPitMum · 03/04/2025 09:58

If DH said yum to my friend I’d stick a firework up his arse

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 03/04/2025 09:44

PRGirlUK · 03/04/2025 07:05

Thank you all for your kind words. This exchange happened a little while ago but I have been reeling since, especially as I thought we were in a good place. It has been good to get validation as I have been questioning my sanity. I don't believe the F is innocent here, to me I read her replies as wanting him to spell it out for her own ego. I would have shut it down immediately if it happened to me. The update is that after 20 years of marriage, the trust and respect has gone, and I have been left humiliated. I won't be having any more contact with the F, can't be arsed to tell her why, I don't want to waste my valuable energy on that tbh. Will also be divorcing. It's sad but in a way I'm glad I have had my eyes opened. I 100 per cent know I will be okay. And stronger. Much love 🙏

Good for you. Best of luck!

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 03/04/2025 09:42

CharlotteLightandDark · 01/04/2025 14:33

Are from the West Country? I totally read the messages in that accent.

seriously though, do grown ups really speak like that? I thought it was an April Fool!

That was what I thought! Regardless, they both need to be dumped. She should have shot this down. And he's gross af.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 03/04/2025 09:37

Ickle pikey me lol? She sounds desperate with very low self esteem.
He is pathetic.
You are doing the right thing.

Doodlessmoodles · 03/04/2025 09:37

Not only is he trying to stick it to your mate he’s also gaslighting you, pack your stuff and keep walking……..

Doodlessmoodles · 03/04/2025 09:32

Get rid……….

MumWifeOther · 03/04/2025 09:24

Your husband is out of line. Please don’t project this onto your friend. He messaged first, he was inappropriate, he was trying to lead the conversation.. I don’t often say get rid, but this would be it for me. I wouldn’t get over this.

Edited to say - sorry just read your reply. You’re done amazing 🙏🏽 stay strong, wishing you well xx

Iceandfire92 · 03/04/2025 09:21

Oh god, they both sound really irritating haha!

Beeloux · 03/04/2025 09:18

fleetoriginal · 01/04/2025 19:29

i would print the exchange off and substitute your name in and the name of one of his friends. Ask him to read it from start to finish and then ask him if he thinks this is appropriate. If he still brushes it off start the process of kicking him out. What an absolute ballsack he is!

Absolutely unacceptable.
If a friends fella messaged me I wouldn’t respond. I would ditch the friend too, why is she putting kisses and flirting back?

Sorry op but this type of messaging would indicate to me something has already happened between them. It really is shit. Happened twice with me with close friends.

Edit: sorry didn’t mean to quote you!

MightAsWellBeGretel · 03/04/2025 09:17

PRGirlUK · 03/04/2025 07:05

Thank you all for your kind words. This exchange happened a little while ago but I have been reeling since, especially as I thought we were in a good place. It has been good to get validation as I have been questioning my sanity. I don't believe the F is innocent here, to me I read her replies as wanting him to spell it out for her own ego. I would have shut it down immediately if it happened to me. The update is that after 20 years of marriage, the trust and respect has gone, and I have been left humiliated. I won't be having any more contact with the F, can't be arsed to tell her why, I don't want to waste my valuable energy on that tbh. Will also be divorcing. It's sad but in a way I'm glad I have had my eyes opened. I 100 per cent know I will be okay. And stronger. Much love 🙏

Good for you, OP ❤️

ConcernedOfClapham · 03/04/2025 08:58

You are being unreasonable to have married a teenager, and count another teenager amongst your best friends.

Unless you too are a teenager.