To think there are too many useless men / manchild's!

Mine was the same. Equal couple, and this continued even past the birth of our first child - because I went back to work. When our second arrived and was 'difficult', it made sense for me to become a SAHM. As soon as I stopped earning - that was it. I turned into his mother in his eyes (his mum never worked once children arrived). My 'job' was the house and children. Which was fine, except that I didn't consider that EVERYTHING was my job, 24/7 and all he was prepared to do was what his dad did, get up and go to work, come home and be 'served' by the little housewife. So he didn't even pick up a hoover or wash any dishes (unless we had company, whereupon he became 'perfect husband', which was how I knew that HE knew he was supposed to do more, and that was the final straw).

This. We were equal until dc arrived and then all of a sudden a ton of things were my job which previously had been shared.
Also it became very clear that he wasn’t prepared to make my life any easier, unless there was a direct benefit for him. And that hadn’t shown up before.

I spent my 30s with someone who was useless. I split with him because I didn’t want to bring children into a relationship with such a man. I met someone else at 38, after a year he has slowly started to reveal himself to be a bit shitty too, nothing nasty-just lazy. I am now in the unenviable position of deciding whether to have kids with a manchild or starting again and missing my opportunity to ever have children. It’s shit, but that’s my reality.

The man bashing on mumsnet is a joke. Maybe people don't post about their decent, loyal, loving husbands.

My husband is not my child, mothers day for me is my day to do what I want same as fathers day is for my husband to do what he wants

My husband is a decent man evey day not for one day because of a calendar, neither of us perfect but we are mature grown ups

If someone does not have this the stop being a martyr and don't stay with them

People change. Some blokes will pretend to be capable partners until there are children involved and then revert to being useless. It's not quite as clear cut as don't have kids with wasters

Is it really that difficult to see that a man isn’t good husband/father material before you commit? Or is it that too many women prioritise having kids over having them with a decent dad? Why have more kids with a man you already know is useless?

Yay....it's all women's fault.

The touble is I do think it often is. My boys have been raised to be useful, capable and willing and they are at home with me. Their GFs seem to enjoy babying them and looking after a "useless" man, so they perform to the level expected of them.

Yanbu

Every other thread is a ltb situation tbh.