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Original poster

Fed up of reading threads asking how they can get out of paying care home fees.

891 replies

Nextdoortomeis · 01/04/2025 09:51

As per the title.
I'm sure lots of people would like the state to pay care home fees.
But we don't live in a fair world.
Both mum and mil paid nearly £70k in fees
yes I didn't want to pay but I also wanted them to get the best care in their later years.

OP posts:
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10
WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · 03/04/2025 00:32

Needspaceforlego · 02/04/2025 17:23

What other care, or treatments would you like to see means tested?

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Where do you think the money is going to come from to pay for all of these free care homes? The low level of financial literacy in the UK is depressing. .

WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · 03/04/2025 00:28

LBFseBrom · 02/04/2025 17:05

WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · Today 16:02
We cant afford cradle to the grave. The benefits system needs to move with the times.
.......

I think it can afforded for those who need it. Many elderly can be self-funding, they are likely to use the NHS but that's for all ages. I'm happy to contribute to the welfare of those who are in need, that's what the welfare state is all about.

How? The LA's money can only stretch so far. Something has to give. We have barely scratched the surface when it comes to the impact of those born post war up to 1964 retiring or needing higher levels of support in their latter years. .

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2025 00:22

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 02/04/2025 21:51

The first home my MIL was in only took self funders. We know because we were told by the manager. I had no idea it was classified information!

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Same.

TempestTost · 03/04/2025 00:01

Asking the state to pay your care home fees so that you can pass your money on to your kids is basically just asking other people's kids to pay for you, so you can advantage your own children.

Cattenberg · 02/04/2025 23:50

Many MNers are determined to push the narrative that all dementia patients live lives of sheer misery and ought to be euthanised.

I’m so relieved to have seen for myself that this isn’t necessarily the case.

LBFseBrom · 02/04/2025 23:32

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 02/04/2025 21:19

If I get dementia I shall (hopefully) be reliving my youth and hallucinating about boyfriends past.

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Don't joke about such things, dementia patients can be very distressed and frightened.

Davros · 02/04/2025 23:21

Poppins21 · 02/04/2025 18:57

Do you know the process?

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Yes thank you. Do you?

Youbutterbelieve · 02/04/2025 22:24

Or c) they didn't own the house.

Youbutterbelieve · 02/04/2025 22:23

ExpressCheckout · 02/04/2025 22:00

I've no idea, but what I do know is that the council didn't make them pay for their fees, none of them, and the house sold at full value with siblings receiving their percentage. I don't know under what circumstances a council (England btw) would do this, perhaps a council employee could comment.

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they wouldn't. The only way a charge wouldn't be placed on the house is a) if they had suffered cash savings to cover the fees or b) the LA aren't the ones funding and instead they got CHC funding.

I don't know of a single case where an LA payed fees and DIDN'T put a charge on the house (a charge is basically where the LA loan the client the money and get the loan back when assets are sold - this happens before the benefactors of the will receive anything.

Needspaceforlego · 02/04/2025 22:21

ExpressCheckout · 02/04/2025 22:00

I've no idea, but what I do know is that the council didn't make them pay for their fees, none of them, and the house sold at full value with siblings receiving their percentage. I don't know under what circumstances a council (England btw) would do this, perhaps a council employee could comment.

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It could be the adult children had bought the house for the parents and it was transfer into their names as soon as possible.

It wasn't that uncommon for younger relatives in the 80s and 90s to buy council houses for parents or grandparents esp if they were just over the threshold for paying full rent. But too old to get a mortgage in their own name and not enough savings to buy outright themselves. But able to get the house at a discount because they'd been renting so long.

But actually you have no real idea what went on in someone else's finances. They might have tons of other debt.

ExpressCheckout · 02/04/2025 22:00

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/04/2025 21:16

How did the purchased council house not get sold to fund the fees??

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I've no idea, but what I do know is that the council didn't make them pay for their fees, none of them, and the house sold at full value with siblings receiving their percentage. I don't know under what circumstances a council (England btw) would do this, perhaps a council employee could comment.

Needspaceforlego · 02/04/2025 21:52

Kandalama · 02/04/2025 21:13

Those upgrades and changes were made to building regs in about 2000.

I worked on one in the Sevenoaks area. The only way they could afford to run the place once people weren’t supposed to share ( unless they wanted to or were a couple ) was to build a massive extension.

Many places closed though

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I'm Scotland but that sounds about right. One that I'm thinking about was probably a 60s built. It was knocked down and a children home put in its place. Council decided they weren't trying to run homes.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 02/04/2025 21:51

westisbest1982 · 02/04/2025 21:23

Alright, I mean I have no idea why you would even know this for a fact (is this information about specific homes even available to the general public?), but okay. That home must be in the tiny majority:

1.3% (197) of care homes had all self-funded residents, accounting for 1.6% of care home beds (7,460).

Source:

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/socialcare/articles/carehomesandestimatingtheselffundingpopulationengland/2022to2023#:~:text=Over%20a%20third%20of%20care,care%20home%20beds%20(7%2C460).

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The first home my MIL was in only took self funders. We know because we were told by the manager. I had no idea it was classified information!

Cosyblankets · 02/04/2025 21:50

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 02/04/2025 21:19

If I get dementia I shall (hopefully) be reliving my youth and hallucinating about boyfriends past.

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That kind of comment is really unhelpful to anyone watching a loved one go through the horror of this illness.
I know you don't mean anything by it but having been through it comments like if i get that way just shoot me or similar comments are quite upsetting.

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 02/04/2025 21:19

BIossomtoes · 01/04/2025 21:55

No. And you have to have capacity at the time of death. Good luck if you get dementia.

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If I get dementia I shall (hopefully) be reliving my youth and hallucinating about boyfriends past.

BIossomtoes · 02/04/2025 21:18

westisbest1982 · 02/04/2025 21:17

And those homes very likely had state-funders living n them.

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The one my parents were in took only self funders. They had no need to take state funded residents.

westisbest1982 · 02/04/2025 21:17

BIossomtoes · 02/04/2025 21:11

I’m not remotely deluded. Finding a suitable care homes for my parents gave me a very close acquaintanceship with reality. I might not care then but I do now and I want the kind of home I chose for my loved ones, not one of the shit heaps I viewed where I wouldn’t put a dog.

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And those homes very likely had state-funders living n them.

BIossomtoes · 02/04/2025 21:17

Kandalama · 02/04/2025 21:14

Can you tell us the weekly cost @Blossomtoes

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Around £1500 a week.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/04/2025 21:16

ExpressCheckout · 01/04/2025 10:29

This thread just sums up why we need a major review of social care funding in the UK, and reminds us that both Labour and the Tories before them have happily kicked that particular can down the road. If you intend to vote Labour, Tories or Reform in future, then you need to be talking to your MP/potential MP about this issue and what their party intends to do about it.

Nb. I do agree with PP about the inconsistencies and unfairness in the system.

My friend's parents smoked and drank themselves into very poor health. Council fully funded their care. Left a purchased council house >£200K to my friend as inheritance, in full. In contrast, my Mum worked all her life, paid her taxes, looked after herself ... and, guess what, no funding support, house sold to pay the fees, and no inheritance to pass on. It's grossly unfair to the average person.

How did the purchased council house not get sold to fund the fees??

Kandalama · 02/04/2025 21:14

BIossomtoes · 02/04/2025 21:11

I’m not remotely deluded. Finding a suitable care homes for my parents gave me a very close acquaintanceship with reality. I might not care then but I do now and I want the kind of home I chose for my loved ones, not one of the shit heaps I viewed where I wouldn’t put a dog.

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Can you tell us the weekly cost @Blossomtoes

Kandalama · 02/04/2025 21:13

Needspaceforlego · 02/04/2025 21:09

Where i am the local authorities closed their homes decades ago. Partly because they couldn't afford to up grade them to single rooms.
All homes are private.

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Those upgrades and changes were made to building regs in about 2000.

I worked on one in the Sevenoaks area. The only way they could afford to run the place once people weren’t supposed to share ( unless they wanted to or were a couple ) was to build a massive extension.

Many places closed though

BIossomtoes · 02/04/2025 21:11

westisbest1982 · 02/04/2025 20:59

But at the point of needing to go in a home, will you really care much about the home you'll be living in? Or maybe the better question is, will you even have the capacity to care?

I haven't read all your posts, but you, and many people on this thread, infer that care homes in the UK are either shit (and that's where the state-funded people live) or are the bells and whistles homes (where the self-funders live). If you really do think this, you're deluded.

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I’m not remotely deluded. Finding a suitable care homes for my parents gave me a very close acquaintanceship with reality. I might not care then but I do now and I want the kind of home I chose for my loved ones, not one of the shit heaps I viewed where I wouldn’t put a dog.

Kandalama · 02/04/2025 21:09

Cunningfungus · 02/04/2025 21:01

This. I’ve worked in the care home sector and although I don’t think any care home provides the kind of care it should, the “private” homes are much nicer than the local authority ones - en-suite, nice communal areas, better meals, gardens, mini-buses and activities co-ordinators to take people out for the day etc.

I’ve been in local authority homes that are so depressingly grim. As if going into care wasn’t bad enough - you’d definitely want to chose where you lived.

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Very few purely local authority funded care homes these days.
Those days are gone

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