To not go to a friend’s party because she still owes me money?

Does your husband agree with distancing himself from her?

and why on earth did he get her earrings?? That is a weird gift to give someone you’re not very close to.,

Thanks for taking the trouble to respond to my question about the finances and the Land Registry OP, it's good to know that you've done what you can to protect yourself.

With regard to the party, I think I'd dress up to the point of looking 'absolutely fabulous, darling', and then when you see the CF, say "Hi CF, we bought you these earrings for your birthday, but then when I looked at them as I was getting dressed this evening, I realised that you actually still owe us a lot of money in interest, so I decided I'd keep them and wear them myself, aren't they GORGEOUS?😂😂 Then give her your brightest smile, take your DH by the arm, and walk away, head held high!

Am I the only one unable to understand why OP and husband want to go to this party; why the DH is pandering to the grifter; and why OP hasn't told her DH how ridiculous he is being and has been? He bought the con-woman earrings for her birthday? Not a platonic bottle of wine or a gift cert to a resto, but a pair of earrings.
Why hasn't OP put her foot down and told him to no longer associate with the con woman as she is not a friend? The relationship jeopardized their finances and marriage.
Has OP confirmed the "repayment" did indeed come from this woman?
As long as the DH is associating with the conwoman OP's marriage is in jeopardy. The DH seems very gullible, to say the least, to the conwoman.

It all sounds good @SpaceMoo. Fingers crossed that the repayment actually came from the CF - or her husband - and your DH didn't borrow the money from someone/somewhere else. That would be my only main concern now, if I was you to be honest.

Do let us know how the party goes ( or doesn't, if you decide not to go)

Great news OP!

Then you are now covered against anyone taking advantage of your DH's goodwill and ability to be taken in by unscupulous "friends". I am sure his willingness to agree is a positive sign for your marriage too.

Look forward to hearing from you on the 19th to hear how the party went and how your erstwhile borrower behaved towards you. I hope she shows some remorse but wouldnt hold my breath.

Glam up for the event and Good luck!

Are you going to offer to wrap up the gift, add a single malteaser to the box and take out the earrings and wear them to the party?

Brilliant news! So glad he didn’t resist too.

Good update OP 🙂

Great news OP. Hopefully that way he now has a reason to say no to any future taps on your money she tries to make.

ETA if he starts making noises about it you know she's tried to convince him to give her money again

Has your Husband bought this woman earrings for her birthday present? How have you not pushed him from a moving car for how he has behaved. Both of your reactions to what's happening here are as if you're both on valium.

I’d go! She owes you a meal by way of interest! Drink much and have seconds! This one’s on her!

Agree with the above.

So You've given your meal options and that means you have to go? Do you?

OP, after all the support you've received on MN, would you please come back and tell us whether you have now taken over all finances, checked that he hasn't taken out any other loans, and registered to be notified by the Land Registry if anyone makes any applications against your property? If you haven't, why not? I would really like to know the answer to this, as I am very concerned that he could still be in cahoots with this woman in some way.

Don't see yourself as a doormat, as I said previously go, be polite, no discussion of money, bat it off, thats done now.
Conversate with others but once the evening is done make sure you look the host, with dead eyes if need be, in the eye when you say goodbye....and just go.

If it were me before I went I'd make it clear to him that DH knows it would be the last time I was ever in the same room as her again.

Then you need to have a frank conversation with him in that he needs to tell you why it seems this woman, in his eyes can do no wrong or except that you put up with this carry on and it will continue and you will then indeed be that doormat.

I'd look at it as an opportunity to start asking other guests whether they've been asked to lend her money too

This. A thousand times this.

I agree with PPs, you don’t have the full story. I’m not sure how you can save your marriage when he’s been so dishonest about something this big. That’s probably a slow burn issue though. Right now I think you have to go the party because you cannot risk this woman having unsupervised contact with your husband. As long as you are married to him, his financial ruin is yours to share. You need to keep a close eye on him to stop him dragging you both under. Has he agreed to hand over complete control of the finances to you? And if not, why not?

I'd look at it as an opportunity to start asking other guests whether they've been asked to lend her money too.

People like this woman can be very convincing, especially if they are dealing with people who are not highly sophisticated with financial matters. You would be horrified if you knew of some of the schenes that people who are otherwise highly educated fall for.

As far as I can follow, the money was repaid after your DH visited and spoke with her husband and it was the husband who sorted it out and made sure the money was returned. So, apart from the reducción in contact between her and your DH, she May not have changed. She may or may not have received a bollocking from her DH

Although I can understand that you donf want to go to her 50th party, I would bite the bullet and go, rather than let your DH go alone...Just in case.

The other point is to point out to your husband that she is clearly NOT a professional financial advisor of any value and to avoid taking her advice for any future financial planning. Many of these so called professionals get wound up with convoluted tax saving schemes that later cause enornous problems for their clients in the future.

Go to the party.
Eat her food, drink her drinks and look upon it as a farewell party.
Then never speak or spend time in her company again.

Alas, I fear your DH will be a bit harder to encourage/convince to do the same.