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Original poster

To not go to a friend’s party because she still owes me money?

737 replies

SpaceMoo · 01/04/2025 09:44

They are DH’s friends really more than mine, and have borrowed money from us to help out their son buy a house. That was a year ago. She’s now having a massive 50th party and is very keen for us all to go. She’s also been on holiday (flying business class she raved to us - it was a gift apparently.) We’ve asked for the money back three times now and she said it’s so hard to take out loans and her other property didn’t sell, problems with tenants etc.

Anyway, I would prefer to cut her off and get solicitors involved. DH trusts her he said and thinks they’re just putting the house on the market and will give the money back. He sees her more often than me as they work close by. He doesn’t want to end it and thinks I’m being petty, it’s just a matter of time. In the meantime she advised us to remortgage our property (which me and DH argued about and a) I resent the arguing and b) point blank refused.

It’s time to get solicitors involved I feel. (Money amount 40k)

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceMoo · 04/04/2025 20:09

Anyway, glad we’ve got the money back. Feels like such a relief I almost want to just forgive and forget, and move on. But that might be me just feeling run down and tired.

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 04/04/2025 20:09

Well!

Look on the bright side, OP. You've got your 40 grand back. That's huge!

Time to lock all your family savings away in an account that needs two signatures for withdrawal now...

ACatNamedRobin · 04/04/2025 20:09

Great news OP!!

Original poster
SpaceMoo · 04/04/2025 20:02

This thread might have changed my whole situation. I can’t thank you all enough!

Her loan came through and we got the money back this afternoon!

if anyone wants to know:

backing up to yesterday…
I came down with a cold, all bunged up and sneezy runny eyes, taking some time out I decided to read every single comment on this thread. I already was but again incase I had missed any.
I watched CON MUM as some of you have mentioned. (Thank you) - same time scrolling through this thread. Have read out some comments aloud to DH. DH knows I’m on here updating and also searching for solicitors to see on Monday.
DH was watching con mum with me. I started laughing and doing the impressions of his friend but in Dionne’s voice (going on holiday to New York flying business class but owes us money and then calling him to tell him how amazing business class was!) I was being awful and bitchy laughing at my own jokes, probably a bit high on meds and so childish. He decided before the programme finished to leave.
Said he’s popping to supermarket. I really wanted some chicken and lentil soup. About 6pm
He took ages.
Came home much later with a few groceries.

I had wondered if he had popped round to see his friend. I didn’t ask.

This afternoon he told me after the money came into our account (we have the bank app) that he had visited his friend at home yesterday evening. Her DH was there and her DH was very upset with her helping their son ‘raise the capital’. Something like 450k deposit. He did not agree with it is upset about a lot of stuff. Her loan magically came through and she has transferred the full amount 40K into our account today.

DH said he has to go and see his sister now to back up his lie. So we’ll be visiting his sis on Sunday.

We have had a massive row this afternoon. I didn’t believe she would have given it back if he hadn’t pushed her, cornered her. (Without this thread?) He thinks she was always going to give it back. I’m too ill to argue properly.

OP posts:
FiveGoMadInDorset · 04/04/2025 06:06

SunnyViper · 03/04/2025 23:19

Eh?

Show quote history

Paying interest on your loans

SunnyViper · 03/04/2025 23:19

FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/04/2025 19:06

So you are payongbinterestvonnyiurbloams when you could have paid them straight off with this money? And your DH can’t see why this is wrong? And a financial adviser can’t see why this is wrong?

Eh?

onwardsup4 · 03/04/2025 22:22

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 01/04/2025 10:20

This story is so bizarre if it’s not an April Fool, I have no clue as to why someone would basically hand over 40k to a wealthy family.
I wouldn’t go the party.
I would divorce my DH for being so underhand.
And start again.

There’s been a few like this recently. So strange

FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/04/2025 19:06

So you are payongbinterestvonnyiurbloams when you could have paid them straight off with this money? And your DH can’t see why this is wrong? And a financial adviser can’t see why this is wrong?

Chezxx · 03/04/2025 16:27

Check out divorcing that idiot you are married to while in there.
I feel so sorry for you.
This hasn't happened by chance.
They have clearly marked him out as dump as fxck and god help you, you are caught up in it.

Original poster
SpaceMoo · 03/04/2025 16:22

I will see a solicitor and get some advice.
Will update this thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceMoo · 03/04/2025 16:19

Thelnebriati · 03/04/2025 10:46

As I've said elsewhere on this thread, I think OP should see a solicitor asap. This isn't something she can fix herself.

Will do ❤️

OP posts:
TokyoKyoto · 03/04/2025 11:18

I would have subjected this woman and her husband and son to a super-google by now, I'd have a file of all their business contacts, their properties and addresses, and I'd already have got in touch with the FCA. She wants to be friends with you? GREAT. Don't let her out of your sight.

Thelnebriati · 03/04/2025 10:46

As I've said elsewhere on this thread, I think OP should see a solicitor asap. This isn't something she can fix herself.

OuchyEars · 03/04/2025 10:19

If measures before the party don't get you anywhere, how about going to the party and having the discussion there.
This will not only be embarrassing for her, but you might find several others she owes join in.
If she's all about appearances it will matter.

StarCourt · 03/04/2025 09:54

Op you sound like you have your head screwed on, I’d definitely be rethinking my marriage though.

Hoppinggreen · 03/04/2025 09:33

Chattyham · 03/04/2025 09:26

Formal or not formal agreement?

No agreement, at least not in writing

GnomeDePlume · 03/04/2025 09:28

@SpaceMoo Do you know if her DH is aware of the loan?

I would not be surprised to find that doctor husband is living in blissful ignorance, enjoying the lifestyle that he doesn't realise his wife is getting them into debt to pay for.

Is she actually registered financial adviser?

Bandying about things like putting property into trust, converting unsecured debt into secured debt all without having properly gone through your finances.

All sounds like someone who knows the jargon but not the meaning.

The 'flying' business class, fancy party 'property portfolio' all sound like they have come from the MLM 'fake it 'til you make it' playbook.

How much of what she has told you/your DH do you actually know to be true?

Even something as simple as flying business class can be faked. A selfie at the entrance to the airline business class lounge. A comment about 'business class all the way'. The impression is given.

My DB gives the impression he went to a private school and was an officer in the army. Never actually lies but is happy for people to believe this. The reality is that he went to the same comp as me and was in the civil service. He does it because he is deeply insecure (thanks dad).

Chattyham · 03/04/2025 09:26

Formal or not formal agreement?

Hoppinggreen · 03/04/2025 08:28

SpaceMoo · 02/04/2025 22:35

It sounds like a Ponzi scheme. If they can do this to us, and we’re not even close, who else do they owe money to? They’re probably repaying people with other people’s money.

I expect you are right.
If you watch any of the Netflix stuff on people like this they use the money they borrow from one "mark" to convince the next one they are wealthy, its their classic MO

BlondeMummyto1 · 03/04/2025 08:22

Hoppinggreen · 02/04/2025 22:10

Based on?

Show quote history

Based on him being so vague and the fact that they would have needed a paper trail for the 40k.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 08:21

thepariscrimefiles · 03/04/2025 08:12

If I were you, I would also mention that you will contact the Financial Conduct Authority if the loan isn't repaid immediately. If she is an Independent Financial Adviser she should be registered with the FCA.

The fact that she is an IFA has meant that your DH trusted her enough to lend her this huge sum of money and is probably one of the reasons he still thinks that she intends to repay the money.

This is the information from Citizens Advice about Financial Advisers and their regulatory body:

All financial advisers should be registered with the FCA. This means they meet the right standards and you get more protection if you’re not happy with the service. For example, you can complain to the Financial Services Ombudsman and may be able to claim compensation if things go wrong.

If a financial adviser is not registered with the FCA, you can make a complaint to the FCA.

Don’t be afraid to ask an adviser about their qualifications and Statement of Professional Standing.

To check a financial adviser is registered with the FCA see the Financial Services Register.

Show quote history

This is not a bad card to have up your sleeve actually.

Underthepalmtree · 03/04/2025 08:19

Imbusytodaysorry · 03/04/2025 07:27

@SpaceMoo she has no money . Robbing Peter to pay Paul .
Id be so mad she was spending money on a party and inviting me .
Sounds like she is in way over her head .

Actually that's a thought.

Maybe YOUR money is paying for the party OP.

It's possible she only gave the son a small amount and pocketed the rest.

Make that point to your not so 'D' H and see how that sits with him.

thepariscrimefiles · 03/04/2025 08:12

SpaceMoo · 02/04/2025 22:13

She may not write back? I could quite easily go into her office? DH has done this last few times and she was very taken aback. When he went to ask for it back few months ago, he said she seemed really nervous because her colleagues could hear the conversation. He said he has tried and each time she has said, wait for the court date and talked about her problems, tenants etc… I’ve told him to keep changing the conversation back to WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK. The last time she showed him papers that she has applied for loans. Who does that?

If I were you, I would also mention that you will contact the Financial Conduct Authority if the loan isn't repaid immediately. If she is an Independent Financial Adviser she should be registered with the FCA.

The fact that she is an IFA has meant that your DH trusted her enough to lend her this huge sum of money and is probably one of the reasons he still thinks that she intends to repay the money.

This is the information from Citizens Advice about Financial Advisers and their regulatory body:

All financial advisers should be registered with the FCA. This means they meet the right standards and you get more protection if you’re not happy with the service. For example, you can complain to the Financial Services Ombudsman and may be able to claim compensation if things go wrong.

If a financial adviser is not registered with the FCA, you can make a complaint to the FCA.

Don’t be afraid to ask an adviser about their qualifications and Statement of Professional Standing.

To check a financial adviser is registered with the FCA see the Financial Services Register.

Shelby2010 · 03/04/2025 07:27

I strongly suggest asking for a payment plan. She’s not going to stump up the full amount at this point, so better to get something back.

If the house she’s trying to sell is on an interest only mortgage, there might not be any money from it. I suspect that she took your money & has then officially gifted to her son rather than admit to him that she has no money.

Imbusytodaysorry · 03/04/2025 07:27

@SpaceMoo she has no money . Robbing Peter to pay Paul .
Id be so mad she was spending money on a party and inviting me .
Sounds like she is in way over her head .

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