To think DH pretending not to hear the baby crying at 3 AM is some sort of Olympic level skill?

Post natal women do have hormones to cope with sleep deprivation, ie they're built for it, men aren't.

My DH did get up for every feed, even though he really didn't have to! (he did the nappies). However, I found I couldn't sleep AT ALL in the same room as the baby whereas he could. DC6 is still with him :)

When DD was a baby my XH accused me of getting up 'on purpose' to try to prevent him from bonding with her. (He wasn't fully asleep, if he were he'd have been snoring.)

I know you do nudge him awake but sure you're awake yourself by then anyway. It's not as good as getting precious uninterrupted sleep.

To be fair I can well believe he just can’t hear it, my husband is the same! He’s a brilliant dad, genuinely couldn’t ask for better, but the sound of the baby crying just never wakes him up! He could sleep through the house falling down around him. He’s amazing and perfectly happy to do whatever once he’s awake but the cry just doesn’t wake him up.

I would put money on him ignoring the noise so you'll get up. Although... I was a single parent when my boys were born, and I was sensitive to their noises because there was nobody else as a back up, and I had no choice. On the occasions where I had family stay over to help through the night, I sort of knew there was somebody else there, so I may not have leapt up straight away.

If you were there and the responsibility was solely his, I reckon he would suddenly be able to hear.

Unless of course he is on some heavy duty medication which would mean he isn't able to wake up. I wouldn't buy being a deep sleeper, because I am. I've slept through all sorts, but I've always been able to hear the kids.

AIBU to think he’s just pretending so I deal with it, or do some men actually just have selective deafness when it comes to babies?

There's no scientific reason why he can't hear the baby crying just because he's a man. What is he like during the day in terms of attentiveness, parenting, and pulling his weight around the house?

My DH can sleep through a bomb going off (not hyperbole, he has actually done this). The baby crying did not wake him.

I had one of these as well.

couldn’t hear them cry, forgot how to make up a bottle, didn’t know where I put the pyjamas etc.
Absolutely useless, he didn’t get better.

Selective deafness so you give up and deal with it.
He's probably hoping that if he acts difficult to wake you won't bother to even try.

I don't know about your DH but when my baby was first home from the hospital and waking every hour in the night, my DH was snoring his head off. He couldn't have faked that level of snoring.

That's not to say your DH is or isn't faking it but mothers are more attuned to hear a baby cry.

You're definitely going to have to do more than nudge him awake!

My DH was generally pretty good, but as I breastfed there was little point in him getting up if it was for a feed. I do remember giving him a swift kick in the calf used to get him awake on the odd occasion I just couldn't face another rocking back to sleep session.