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AIBU?

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Original poster

To stop supporting DH

30 replies

staceysmom123 · 01/04/2025 08:52

DH went self employed a couple of years ago. It got off to a good start but business is railing off now and so is his income.

We’ve been living off my savings for a while now and I’m so stressed. I’m picking up extra hours where I can but I don’t want to leave a job I love that works well around DC.

AIBU to say I’ve had enough and that either our lifestyle changes (big house, holidays, cars, etc), or DH gets a job again?

DH is convinced things will pick up again but it’s been 12 months now, our savings will only last so long.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 01/04/2025 09:32

Ditch the car now, maybe when he realises his expensive hobby “business” is costing him things he values he’ll go get a proper job.

Jellycatspyjamas · 01/04/2025 09:30

You have a different definition of scraping by if it includes holidays and nice cars. If his income is reduced he needs to pull his belt in, what happens when your savings run out? Has he already burned through his own savings?

MostlyHappyMummy · 01/04/2025 09:28

You'd be mad to continue with the same lifestyle by using savings. It doesn't really matter what your DH thinks since he isn't contributing - so just stop using the savings and see where that leaves you.
His business is just an expensive hobby at the moment

Original poster
staceysmom123 · 01/04/2025 09:11

DH believes it won’t get to that point as business will pick up.

I want to move to smaller house, get rid of his PCP car, stop going away, etc. DH wants to continue as though nothing has happened, making me feel as though I’m controlling for not wanting to take money out of my saving account.

We’ve continued like this for a year, scraping by thanks to svaings.

OP posts:
BlondeMummyto1 · 01/04/2025 09:06

You clearly can’t afford the lifestyle if you’re eating into savings. What is your plan when the savings are all gone?

I would be stripping the holidays, cars and spending right back to essentials while he job hunts.

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