Don’t know what to do🫨🤯

@Plummutum how do you feel about him now owing a friend several thousand pounds? what is his plan to pay this back? this money treats the symptom not the disease though doesnt it. the question is how and why did you get to this place with 48hrs to go. No one is saying he is the devil. but my concern now would be how he is going to pay back this very kind friend who has bailed him out. are you happy for people outside of the family knowing this much information about your finances and about his lack of financial planning?

He should be damn grateful she's even offering to help. Twat.

Do you have kids together?
Isn't it a bit odd he got the money so quick?
Did he already have it ?
If he has good credit he could have got a loan . But that's still fast and I would worry about the interest if payday type loan

I'm thinking that when you say "not always", others would probably say 'quite often'.

I'm glad it's all worked out for now OP. At least now you can work through any other issues without this hanging over you. These applications really can bring out the worst in us.
Sounds like he has some pretty stellar social capital, so he must have some redeeming qualities!
Plenty of people don't have a spare grand every year, so that's hardly unusual...

You're being rather defensive here @Plummutum, which is not unexpected as he's your husband and you've elected to commit to him for whatever reason.

Nonetheless, for those of us reading your thread updates from a third party, impartial perspective - there are a number of quite major red flags tied up in his behaviour. Please just have your wits about you going forwards. Best of luck.

Apologies if this has been asked before @Plummutum, but could he ask his parents for the money?

i am not throwing out comments… this is exactly the image you have portrayed to us…
you just seem relieved that this little blip has gone away but trust me there will be hundreds more judging by the past… get him to pay your DM for a start if he can borrow money that easily 🤷‍♀️

all of your excuses for his behaviour are irrelevant as he chose to leave this situation until the day before to fix… umm i mean beg

Yes I’m going to be alert from now on. But I think I can cut him some slack for trying at the last minute
@Plummutum
I somehow don’t believe that… he has just gone to ask for handouts yet you class this as ‘trying’ 🙈
How come he manages to ‘beg’ off non family members (probably male) yet this situation need never to have arisen if he had accepted your DM’s kind and acceptable offer…
I am convinced he doesn’t like women, he sounds like an intolerable misogynistic chauvinistic asshole… i bet if you had brothers he would make an effort.
Please be aware of how your children are brought up if this male influence is all they have to go on 😞

Its not fair there are people like your husband who trying to remain in the country legally, pay his fees etc yet, thousands are allowed to come here for free and stay.

Cut him some slack for trying last minute? No wonder you think he’s great. I’d be cutting him loose for leaving it till last minute and expecting everyone else to bail him out. A Prince among men …not

I hope he now apologises to you and your mum for putting all that pressure and stress on you both, gets his shit together and starts to pay off his debts.

So he'd rather be deported than accept the terms of a loan from your mum? What an utter twat! Would he expect you to uproot yourself if he does get deported? To a country where you possibly don't speak the language and wouldn't be able to get a job? No thanks, time to shape up or ship out, chum!

So despite saying you don’t want more debt, you were not only prepared to be in debt to mother, you’re now in debt to some pal. Well, your DH had better repay this guy because he will run out of friends PDQ.
My son went through the visa thing. I helped with costs of bringing her over but they did the rest themselves.
You don’t have a husband. You have an albatross round your neck. I wish you well, but you have a hard road ahead if this thread is anything to go by .

OK, let us assume he now gets his arse in gear and applies for the visa within the deadline.

Lets look at where does that leave you:

He borrowed from you DM before and has no intention of repaying her.

You and he have other debts - in whose name are these? Are they actually your debts or his?

And now he is borrowing from a friend - do you honestly think he will repay his friend, or will he just lose the friendship and trash his good name in that circle of people who know him?

Can you see that he is dragging you down. You need to make plans to extricate yourself from this financial mess.

Do you have your own current account as well as a joint account?
Do you keep track of what each of you contribute to the household and children, and what each of you has for 'personal' money? (The easiest way to do this is to have a joint account for house and children, into which you both pay an agreed amount, and each have personal current accounts for 'pocket money').

What are the plans for paying off the existing debts? Who is paying them? Were they for household and childcare costs, or personal debts?
Did he let you run up debts for essential household costs because he was not paying into the joint account enough from his wages?

As a married couple, your finances are legally linked, but you can still set some boundaries around his behaviour by using joint and personal accounts and insisting on a fair system for managing your finances.

He is being pathetic.
And no, why should you be on his side when he is in the wrong?
You mum is not been unreasonable, husband is.

Is he from a male dominant country?

It may not be straightforward BUT he has known from the moment the visa was granted thst it woukd have an end date and seems to have done nothing to prepare for that at all!

I think he wants to go "home", maybe he's not even admitting that to himself let alone to you, but his lack of action is speaking volumes