Don’t know what to do🫨🤯

God they make this so ridiculously expensive, I find these Visa conditions so annoying. It's just to put poor people off. If he gets deported then they are stopping a British citizen from living in her own country by happily splitting families up. They are all massive dicks.

And what about you OP? What are you putting up with from him?

You say your Mum putting up with so much rubbish from him and also him not paying her back in the past does not paint a good picture. He does not sound considerate and thoughtful. Hope he treats you better. You deserve to be happy.

Good luck for the visa situation.

Not sure why you finish almost all your posts with the words "if that makes sense." It isn't as though they're hard to understand or you're including concepts the average person will have trouble with.

What doesn't make sense is how you can fail to see that a man who won't swallow his arrogance (it isn't pride) in order to stay with his wife and children doesn't actually want to stay with them. He doesn't love them enough to do such a tiny thing for them.

Throw this one back and let him go. He clearly doesn't want to stay.

The more I’m reading the more its annoying me on your behalf op 🤣
he won’t go and thank your mum for the 2.5k as she should just give it him because you have asked for him.
HE SHOULD BE ROUND THERE KISSING HER FEET!!! eternally grateful she saved his sorry ass.
but no because Yano… pride

Cut the f…ker loose and have him deported! One less male burden.
Find someone more deserving than this sulky entitled sponger.

You may be thinking of your children when trying to resolve this. He is not.

He does have the authority to take them out of the country. He is their parent.

Why would he want to leave? Who knows - could be any of a dozen reasons. But he's making no effort to stay.

Not stressed enough to do the right thing to guarantee the stability of his family. Does he want you to move to a country where you will have no real rights or where you will be isolated and even more dependent on him?

You are being nieve. When will he get deported? I’d put good money on you won’t hear from him once this happens.
start to protect yourself and any shares assets, it is incredibly hard to hear and I really feel for you. But over the next few days try to think practically.

It sounds to me like he wants to leave. He has been incredibly rude to your family but your mother is still willing to lend him the money in return for him asking her and assurances that she’ll get it back. That’s not unreasonable given his situation and previous behaviour.

He can easily take the kids out of the country. I have travelled all over with mine and have never once been asked for proof that their father has given permission.

The panic you are feeling, the scrambling about to try and sort the money and to keep him here. Why doesn’t he feel the same way?

I don’t mean to sound harsh at all, it is the feel I am getting from an outsider.
we are talking about his life, children, wife, family. Why is he not living heaven and earth to ensure he doesn’t get deported?
pride is a cop out because when your children are on the line and your life you swallow that pride and do what you have to do.
I think he may be Abit relieved, he can go and live his old life, carefree. You are not as high on his priorities as you should be. He isn’t at all trying to ensure he doesn’t get deported. Which suggests he’s not that bothered if he does.

If he's legally recognised as their father, then he has the authority to take them out of the country. Children can travel abroad with one parent. Legally, your options to insist on them returning are then quite limited in some countries.

How is this your problem to solve? He should be moving heaven and earth to make sure he gets to stay with his loved ones.

If he isn’t, he is telling you he doesn’t care.

No, I'm serious. If he has the authority and ability to take your children out of the country, he could easily take them with him if he has to or chooses to leave the country. Depending upon where he would go, it can be very difficult to get children back home after a parent has taken them abroad.

Give them to you mum to look after. Better safe than sorry.

If it was pride stopping him, he would be too proud to take your mother's money. He, clearly, has no problem with that. He just feels that he is entitled to it without having (a) ask himself and (b) put plans in place for him to pay it back in a timely manner.

Has that helped your mum build a relationship with your husband. Has it meant your children can see a healthy family dynamic which includes your DH and your mother? How do you treat his parents and siblings? If you acted with them like he does with your mother and siblings would he accept that behaviour?

Oh crap OP, just saw you have children together too.

You must feel so let down and rightly so.

His selfishness has risked all of your future.

He's not a man you can depend on.

Take a step back and consider if you & the kids might be better off without him.