I called him a f**king tramp. DH overheard and is now furious

I know you have had enough but losing control and talking to your SS like that was horrible. You're the adult! No wonder your husband was angry.

And you were pretty dismissive of the homeless which is also unacceptable in my book.

Oh, please. He’s not a vulnerable child, he’s a dirty, disrespectful and defiant teenager.

Sure. But he is being allowed by her DH. It isn’t the role of the stepparent to discipline the child and if her DH won’t to it that’s a DH problem. You don’t insult a child.

My DS was making a mess but we were lucky because we have two toilets. He has got better now after i mentioned it a few times. If you make them clean it before every time you use it surely they’ll learn

Your husband the dregs raising the dregs.
Why have you tolerated this?
Stop doing anything for either of them.
Use your SS's clothes to wipe up the mess.

What exactly is the point of remaining married in suchba set up?

The thing is, the pearl clutchers who don’t think you should say ‘fucking tramp’ can police language all they want, it doesn’t change the fact that if your little darling does this, people do indeed think he is disgusting. Not being able to say it doesn’t change what people think.

Its disgusting. And controlling. And definitely ‘filthy male behaviour’

This thread is truly something to behold. The posters pearl clutching about the use of the words ‘fucking’ and ‘tramp’. The many posters who seem to have missed the salient point that the OP didn’t shout or even say those words directly to her stepson or his father but to no one in particular as as expression of frustration at the situation. The posters calling this abuse and speaking of the stepson in terms of a child - as if he’s a poor wee 5yo being scolded for missing the bowl rather than 14yo who, notwithstanding he may have more growing up to do should still be fully capable of adhering to basic expectations around hygiene and respect for others. The posters who along with the OPs husband seem to think the OPs words are a greater crime than this little scrote pissing all over the toilet in what i would bet my house is a deliberate attempt by the SS to upset and/or intimidate his stepmother.

So what’s the message there then? Women, and especially stepmothers, if someone is showing you disrespect and contempt, do make sure you express your anger in way that does not hurt or insult the poor men. Fucks. Sake.

We bow to your wisdom oh great one

OR - maybe you’re overthinking yeah?

Teen pisses on toilet seat regularly
Step mother is annoyed
Father refuses to deal with it

She is NBU - they are

Yes I haven’t experienced this. If my husband does miss he must clean up after himself as I have never noticed it. Even the lads I shared a house with at Uni didn’t do this.

People on here are such weak petals, that using the name 'daft' is offensive. Tramp is pretty average, quite mild imo and I would have called him far worse than that, let me tell you! He got off easy with only tramp. That's nothing. I don't understand your husband being upset at that word in particular, what a pitiful snowflake.

Here's what I'd do. Since he said it takes '2 seconds' to mop up pee and clean and disinfect it, make your husband do it. Make him take responsibility. I'd tell him "your son peed all over the bathroom, I want you to clean it up right now." I'd also say "I think he should be taken to a Urologist as he must have a physical deformity if he cannot urinate properly at his age. He is 14! Even 9 year olds are able to pee properly. Make a medical appointment and get him checked out."

If your husband is made to clean it up every single time (get the husband to do it, not the son as clearly his son doesn't care about being made to clean it up) he will soon get very, very tired of it and address it with the son.

Only takes two seconds to clean up?

Then the father of this disgusting specimen can clean it up every time.

Your P thinks you were put on this earth to clean piss off the loo and the floor, OP.

He's actively teaching his son to be contemptuous of women.

I'd have called him worse. He is dirty and disgusting. Unless the stepson is unusually stupid, and he might be because his father doesn't sound like he'd qualify for MENSA, he can learn to either aim, sit down or clean. The fact that he does none of those things is very disrespectful and deliberate. He is saying I choose to leave other people ie his stepmother to clean up his mess. Saying that, I live in a male household with sons and a husband. My sons are grown up now but they didn't do this sort of thing even when they were little. My husband certainly doesn't. I am fairly sure my husband's parents who had three sons wouldn't have put up with this for a moment.

Buy him a Texas catheter.

I don’t understand.

Why do you tolerate this?

He is a fucking tramp. I'd do exactly the same OP.

Not quite the same situation but my 13 year old DD seems to have some sort of mental block regarding flushing the toilet. Every time I go in her bathroom there's a turd looking up at me. It stains the bowl and makes the whole house stink, not to mention what visitors must think. I am sick to death of telling her how disgusting it is. In every other way she is clean and presentable but I dont think she's ever flushed the toilet in this house.

this would be something I'd think in my head and not say out loud 😂

when my DSS lived with us we would have this problem, I know how awful and grim it is but its down to DH to police and sort. luckily after DH shamed him a bit for it, it stopped and we had nice clean toilets again. boys are just lazy 😖

I dont have a child of my own yet but it would upset me if my partner who wasn't my bio child's parent called them a fucking tramp. it's just unkind.

It's also a name for someone who behaves, lives etc in a minging manner. I'm well aware of the origin of the tramping class and how it became a slur. Sayings have regional meanings.
Additional needs aside, it's no surprise that these are mainly step sons, it's a power play. They won't be doing it in friend's houses and even primary schools clamp down on such behaviour. I've known builders who wouldn't stand for it. Very few men want to be covered in the piss of another man. It isn't allowed in work places.
@ServantoftheBones tramp is no more a swear word than bugger. Bugger came from the gay slur.

This is not teenage boys. My teenager doesn't do this. (He wouldn't dare.). OP: you were right to be enraged. Make sure there are consequences for teen. And do not clean up after him. Every time, get the wee sod up there to clean up after himself. And get him to the GP to rule out any physical problem.

Went through a brief phase of this with my two boys. Once I figured out the culprit, I made him clean it every time and lo and behold, it soon stopped. Didn’t call him a tramp, just not in my vocabulary. Scruff, pain in the arse, probably a few others. Don’t think it mentally scarred him. You were right calling ss to sort it, but since dh is happy to mop up another (nearly adults) pee, call him from now on instead.

Thank you.

Yours is good too

I would be tempted to break into song every time I heard the SS go into the loo:

"If you sprinkle
when you tinkle
be a sweetie
wipe the seatie"

I'm trying to think of a good tune to sing it to :

I'm thinking of Beethoven's Ode To Joy or maybe The Rolling Stone's I Can't Get No Satisfaction.

what do you think?

Good on her!

Your username is excellent.

I HATE THIS.
My bff has a notice in her bathroom which - well I go into it in detail but basically if a boy/man is going to use it he MUST adhere to certain rules. And she's been known to make a public spectacle of a boy who DOESN'T keep to her rules!
They won't do it a 2nd time!

Glad to be of service