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Original poster

I called him a f**king tramp. DH overheard and is now furious

333 replies

ionlysaidone1 · 31/03/2025 19:50

Aibu?

DHs older son is 14. He doesn't treat the house with any respect when he's here and I understand that can just be teens so I try so hard to bite my tongue.

But one thing I cannot stand is the state of the toilet whenever he's here. He will literally piss all over it, down the back of the toilet, sometimes it's on the floor etc..

I have tried REPEATEDLY to bring this up with DH who minimises completely saying it's not that bad, only takes two seconds to clean up, I'm exaggerating, it's not his son despite it only happening when he's here obviously.

I have taken to shouting DSS in every time I notice it and making him clean the toilet but it's still happening. He's revolting.

Anyway, tonight I came to use the bathroom after SS and lo and behold the seat is a mess again, piss in the back between the cistern and toilet seat. I was so annoyed that I just went WHAT A FUCKING TRAMP! And then shouted SS to get in there and clean it up.

SS didn't hear the tramp comment but DH did and now he's furious.

I've apologised for calling SS a tramp

but said I won't apologise for being angry at this happening AGAIN.

H thinks I've committed some cardinal sin calling his son a tramp but honestly, if the shoe fits! If he doesn't like it he should do more to get through to his son.

I'm so over this situation it's disgusting.

OP posts:
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Moglet4 · 11/11/2025 07:47

Honestly? I applaud you. Far too many men are brought up not to check and clean up after themselves. They need to understand that it’s repulsive and extremely disrespectful- you wouldn’t lose it and shout disrespectful things about him if he showed some!

Cherrysoup · 30/10/2025 14:05

Zombie 🧟

Merc123 · 30/10/2025 13:56

Sofiewoo · 31/03/2025 20:05

Did I say that?
Children will do all sorts of things don’t agree with or don’t like, from not listening, being messy, staying out past a curfew, the answer is not to scream that they are a “fucking tramp. It’s utterly mental that people think that’s an acceptable way for an adult to speak to a 14 year old. It’s abusive.

Show quote history

Its abusive to continually subject others in the home to dirty, lazy/rude behavior and be expected to "deal with it". Unless this 14yo has true medical/emotional diagnosis there is zero reason to be acting out weeing everywhere. He's 14 not 4

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 07/04/2025 20:22

Sofiewoo · 31/03/2025 19:58

H thinks I've committed some cardinal sin calling his son a tramp but honestly, if the shoe fits!

Well you have, absolutely no way I would have someone speaking to my kids like that. Everyone would be screaming abuse if it was him saying it to your kids.

No they really wouldn't...

31andconfused · 07/04/2025 20:19

Annascaul · 31/03/2025 19:51

The lives some people lead…

Sorry but I laughed so hard at this

IttyBittyLittleKitty · 05/04/2025 08:00

EcruCardigan · 04/04/2025 09:10

That is a matter of opinion, and smacks of anti-semitism and islamophobia.

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It is not anti-semitic or islamophobic to have the opinion that removing foreskin without permission from babies is unnecessary mutiliation that should be stopped even if it is done for cultural and / or religious purposes. Both culture and religion have evolved over time to remove barbaric practices from their "norms". Why can't circumcision also become one of these, at least until the child become an adult? At which point, if he chose to, he could have the procedure willingly.

TheHerboriste · 05/04/2025 00:51

Chezxx · 04/04/2025 09:30

If my boys behaved in any way like that, words like "fxxking tramp" would be the least of their and my husbands worries.

Your husband is a disgrace, hardly surprising his son is dragged up.

Same here.

your husband is deflecting back to you because he knows both of them are lazy, entitled twats.

singlewhitetrashheap · 04/04/2025 23:19

EcruCardigan · 04/04/2025 09:10

That is a matter of opinion, and smacks of anti-semitism and islamophobia.

Show quote history

Bollocks. Circumcision is genital mutilation, and should be banned.

millymoo1202 · 04/04/2025 09:45

It’s not teenage boys as I have one and he cleans up after himself well he certainly doesn’t piss everywhere! He’s doing it because he is a tramp and gets away with it with his dad

Elunajeya · 04/04/2025 09:33

Smallmercies · 04/04/2025 09:18

Pro tip: boys and men can pee sitting down if they can't control their spray.

Quite. And if they make a mess, they can clean it. Even if it’s a medical issue. .

Chezxx · 04/04/2025 09:30

If my boys behaved in any way like that, words like "fxxking tramp" would be the least of their and my husbands worries.

Your husband is a disgrace, hardly surprising his son is dragged up.

Smallmercies · 04/04/2025 09:18

Pro tip: boys and men can pee sitting down if they can't control their spray.

Smallmercies · 04/04/2025 09:16

Why. Are. You. In. This. Relationship.

EcruCardigan · 04/04/2025 09:10

singlewhitetrashheap · 04/04/2025 00:58

Shut up.

If he had an actual medical issue, it would have reared its head by now because that sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed.

And yes, circumcision without medical necessity, is barbaric.

Show quote history

That is a matter of opinion, and smacks of anti-semitism and islamophobia.

mathanxiety · 04/04/2025 03:33

beautifuldaytosavelives · 01/04/2025 22:45

My eternal question on threads like these…how does one ‘make’ another adult do something? Or even a 14 year old child? Clearly they are both vile and OP is NBU (might have been to shout it in his face!) but please do explain how she can ‘make’ her DH clean it?

There is the usual withdrawal of all domestic services done by her for the benefit of the rest of the household. No cooking, cleaning, laundry, sex.

She could also get a lock installed on the bathroom door and keep the key herself. She could be the only one able to use the bathroom, for the loo, the bath, brushing teeth, shaving, etc. If this man and his son wanted to use the bathroom it would be on conditon that it was left spotless.

I personally would kick both of them to the curb.

singlewhitetrashheap · 04/04/2025 00:58

Santina · 03/04/2025 20:43

It's hardly barbaric if it's a medical need you fool. Of course some people need to have the prodecure carried out.

No one is suggesting they perform the procedure publicly and have a party. Calm down.

Show quote history

Shut up.

If he had an actual medical issue, it would have reared its head by now because that sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed.

And yes, circumcision without medical necessity, is barbaric.

Santina · 03/04/2025 20:43

singlewhitetrashheap · 03/04/2025 14:23

The fuck? No child needs circumcision, it's barbaric.

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It's hardly barbaric if it's a medical need you fool. Of course some people need to have the prodecure carried out.

No one is suggesting they perform the procedure publicly and have a party. Calm down.

FullOfLemons · 03/04/2025 17:31

I would be surprised if the problem is the boy needing circumcision

As that does not explain why he does not clean up the mess. It seems more likely he does not respect the OP or is indeed a tramp.

However perhaps if OP suggests it as an option, the threat will help him improve his aim.

BluntTiger · 03/04/2025 17:21

Obviously doesn’t lock the door then!

TheGentleOpalMember · 03/04/2025 17:15

singlewhitetrashheap · 03/04/2025 14:23

The fuck? No child needs circumcision, it's barbaric.

Show quote history

Sometimes a boy will need circumcision if the foreskin is too tight and/or deformed, and/or the penis is deformed and the flow of urine can't pass through. I don't support circumcision in general, but sometimes it's needed.

singlewhitetrashheap · 03/04/2025 14:23

Santina · 02/04/2025 10:22

Frustrating as it is, does the child need circumcision, my son used to do this when he was younger, after the procedure it stopped. If not, then Crack on with keep telling your husband to clean it up.

The fuck? No child needs circumcision, it's barbaric.

Paganpentacle · 02/04/2025 13:55

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 31/03/2025 20:13

This is teenage boys tbh

Your husband should be enforcing him cleaning it up

But you shout at him every time, and you called him a tramp - poor kid

Its not teenage boys, actually. Given them credit - they don't all piss on the floor once they're toilet trained.
Its THIS teenage boy.
Unless he's blind or has a hypospadia there is no excuse.
If your husband is happy with the situation- then he should clear it up.
Personally... much as it would drive me insane I'd leave it until it absolutely stinks and you're wading around in it.

gmor6787 · 02/04/2025 13:48

What kind of person pees all over the seat and surrounding floor and walks away. He knows he’s done it as he’s looking at his workmanship. He’s doing it deliberately to get under your skin. You didn’t call him a tramp to his face you commented as an exclamation. You need to speak to your husband and stress his son is being disrespectful and he needs to sort it. He’ll hear a lot worse language than that at school and probably uses it himself.

TessTimoney · 02/04/2025 10:41

DH definitely needs to have a word with DS. At 14 if you can't pee directly into the toilet bowl (is there is a physical reason why he can't) then he is purposely pissing all over you and your rules! Is he doing this in other people's homes?!! 😳

TY78910 · 02/04/2025 10:34

Christ, I’ve been reading this thread over the last couple of days and I’m stunned.

If OP’s DH blurted out ‘fucking tramp’ in relation to OP doing something disgusting, it would be an abomination. Posters would be piling on saying how abusive and awful he is, the excuse that it wasn’t directly in her face just wouldn’t fly. It’s okay when a woman uses foul language towards someone apparently!