Boyfriend’s living together ‘conditions’

my dh just move in with me didnt give a shit about plates on a draining board we were exite to be together

my sisters partner is like this an it just got worse she ant leave anyting out he loses it-shes stuk for now

Doesn't sound much of a catch. What a turn off that he didn't even offer to help fix your switch. I would find that extremely emasculating.

If he can’t handle a singular biscuits crumbs, he’s not going to handle being a dad. Most kids are messy, chaotic, loud and unpredictable. Your boyfriend isn’t going to enjoy it if he can’t handle dishes drying over night.

Maybe he is or would be excited once he’s given it some thought and knows it will work. Honestly the love trumps all BS won’t work, how many threads on here do we see about couples arguing or resenting each other over the mundane tasks? He doesn’t like dishes out overnight then fine one of you wash the other dry… sorted. He’s not unreasonable for wanting a conversation about these things, if you run in blind you’ll fall

Christ, don’t move him in.

How would he cope with children if you ever decided to have any in the future, the house is never tidy with kids and you would be mentally and physically exhausted trying to keep the house up to his standard...nope run now!

I'm 8 years living with my other half and we are still finding "trivial" things that annoy each other. Whenever we do, we tell the other person and either change or reach a compromise...

But I could.

Someone on here said it’s the annoying things at the beginning that break you up at the end.
Don’t move in. Enjoy being together in separate spaces. It’s you that will lose out Op if you don’t.

"Hopefully the answer with things like the dishes is you wash, he dries"

No! She's right and he's wrong.

His conditions are giving 'sleeping with the enemy' vibes. Proceed with caution.

Get rid of both.

Fix the switch and the relationship.

OK. Just saw your last post. Sounds like he does have some good qualities.
I think you should tell him how his listing your faults has made you feel and see what he says. Does he have nit picking parents? Maybe that's been drilled into him and he needs to learn to compromise a bit. Hopefully the answer with things like the dishes is you wash, he dries... but not getting a light switch fixed when you have other more urgent expenses I think you should fight your case on that and tell him it shows how good you are at prioritising the important things.
Overall, I'd say make jolly sure you are both able to discuss these issues Before you consider moving in.

@GlorificusT is he ASD? In my case my partner would leave stuff out or not get something fixed. I get stuff sorted quickly and couldn't live in a mess. I just dont live with my partner and accept that's how he is. It's interesting that yours has opted to mention it. I would wonder whether he's ASD. Personally I'd feel like if he's flagging relatively small things now rather than just helping, then it's a sign that he will end up critical in the future without sorting stuff out

Petty.
So quick to criticise the light switch but has he offered to help to fix it?

Seems reasonable to me, from what you have described you wouldn’t be well suited to living with me. If these things are important to him (however trivial they seem to you) then surely it better to talk about it now than move in together and have terrible arguments about everyday occurrences.

Maybe you have to spell out how he's making you feel at times when he is trying to control things too much. I believe that it can be helpful to be very straightforward with partners on the spectrum as they genuinely don't want to make you feel bad.

No he shouldn't be drying pots that someone else has left to air dry! She doesn't want time wasted on an unnecessary task or little bits of tea towel on her dishes. Who'd be washing all those tea towels afterwards? When in Rome you do as the Romans!

Sheldon's got a list.
Move on.

How long have the two of you been together?

He's seen things that need to be addressed? And they're stupid shit that affects nothing?

Oh, boy.

He's hypercritical and nitpicks small details.

He will be like this with children. They will never live up to his extreme standards and they will feel constantly judged and falling short. Sort of like you feel now. A hypercritical parent is a good way to create an anxious child.

You two are not a good fit.

He can't deal with biscuit crumbs.

Kids are a whole other kettle of fish when it comes to mess.

He sounds a bit of an arsehole - what’s stopping him offering to help fix the light?

I read once that’s it’s more hygienic to let pots drip dry so I rinse under hot water and let them be on the draining board.

But it’s small stuff like this that causes resentment in a relationship so it’s best you find out now.

I can’t decide if he’s being open, or trying to control you and bend you to what he wants you to be. I was married to a man like this and it got worse, and I’d receive silent treatment when I didn’t run the house as he wanted. Fuck that - never again!

Maybe he doesn't want to live together and he's finding excuses