To ban iPads on school mornings?

Yes ban it and lock it away. I stopped my kids watching tv on school mornings as it just made us late. And yes deal with the tantrum. Or just explain the new rule the night before.

Why is this even a thread?! Of course a child shouldn't be using the ipad on a school morning.

Get a TechSafe and lock it away for the times you don’t want them to have it. My 12yo DS is also a sneaky shit with this stuff (if I forget to lock it up) - he has no impulse control.

My kids (similar age to yours) aren’t allowed iPads from 9pm on Sunday evening until after school on Friday, for precisely the reason you mention OP. And all electronic devices (in theory, mine included) get put into a locked box overnight, every night. The box is locked with a timer padlock - there’s no code and no key, so no-one can override it (although I once found a child unsuccessfully trying to cut it open with a bread knife). They just have to wait until the timer ticks down to zero, and it opens. https://amzn.eu/d/hASDPiq

Kids don't need screens in the morning at all. In fact they don't need screens every day.

Absolutely this. We do a cheat and lose everything for 3 days. Do it again and lose it for a week. No TV, phone, iPad. Works a treat.

You are the parent set the rules!
Set the rules that make the morning run smoothly for everyone.

My 2 get the ipads for 20 minutes each morning. If they don't turn off and get dressed when I say so then they don't get it the next morning.

Take it at night, set a passcode that he cannot change so no usage without you. Set screen time up via a tool such as Qustodio as Apple screen time is abysmal.

Why are you not taking it at night and being in charge of it.
you are the parent!

Are you a woman or a mouse? Just stop being so spineless and remove the damn thing already

Do you have any parental controls set up on his iPad and phone? That would be the easiest way to sort it out. One way or another there is a bad dynamic in that your son sees nothing wrong with ‘sneaking’ his iPad and that you and your husband let him. Having to nag him 100 times to get ready is awful for everyone. how is this going to play at if you continue when he is older.

My kids loved to play on their games console but they were only allowed if they were well behaved. The rules and the consequences were clear and simple and I was very consistent. They were allowed, say, 1 hour a day and any complaints would mean they would not be allowed to play the following day, if they still complained they were not allowed to play for a week. I know that it won’t work for all kids but it worked brilliantly for mine.

Why are you so scared to parent him?

This. Schools days everything is off by 9pm at the latest and left to charged downstairs. Internet is switched off in their devices using in a family app.
saying no isn’t a bad thing - it’s parenting.

We have screens in the morning. For Chess, reading if they have a book on there or Duolingo only. Yes. I'm THAT parent.

Both screens are in the kitchen at the breakfast bar. We don't use the living room in the morning. It's up, dressed, breakfast and out.

My 12 and 14 year old don’t even have their phones back in the morning until they’re dressed and downstairs.
Of course you should just take it away. We have the radio on in the morning and that’s about it - no screens, not tv, no devices - it makes everything a lot smoother!
Start now and everyone will get used to it.

For goodness sake you’re the parent - just take it off him and lock it in a drawer or cupboard at night and say no!

You lock kids devices away at night and they don't reappear until after school. It's not difficult.

DH has volunteered to manage iPads in the morning it seems. Well done him 👍 👍 👍 👍

I tell them they’re only allowed anything before school on a Friday- would that work?

YANBU to remove them. It is obvious that they are stopping him getting ready.

when DD was young, if she had the tv on in the morning, then she would not get ready so we had to switch it off.

They should be handing their ipads over to you at bedtime, and they don't get them back until you decide the following evening, ie after homework and any chores done.

you need to take control of the situation or it will just get worse. if he takes the ipad without permission then you keep it for longer. Buy a lockable box if necessary but make it very clear that you are in charge not him

Oh sorry DS, it's broken...

What are the consequences when he takes the iPad when he knows he’s not supposed to? He’s 11 years old, definitely old
enough to know better. And dont add fuel to the fire by getting one for the 5 year old.
Is your DH around when you’re getting the kids to school? If not, and he has no idea what goes on the morning, his opinion is unhelpful and I would tell him so.

Definitely ban it, you're the parent!

There are no screens in the mornings here with no intention of that changing. DS' school iPad is in his school bag from being packed the night before. If he takes it out against my request, it gets put on top of my wardrobe and he'll lose screen time the next time it's allowed.