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Original poster

To wonder how unethical a coffee date would be if he won’t commit?

141 replies

Celia24 · 31/03/2025 11:45

To clarify, my partner is dragging his heels on a proposal for various reasons. In my 30s I’m not getting younger.

I don’t want to break up with him yet, but I also don’t want to put all my eggs in his basket.

would I be a cheat to consider signing back up to the dating apps, with the intention of going on some coffee dates (nothing physical)?

OP posts:
FreshOutOfFucks · 31/03/2025 11:51

Are you asking if it would be unethical to start recruiting for a man to have an exit affair with while you wait to see if your boyfriend proposes?

NuffSaidSam · 31/03/2025 11:51

Your relationship is already over.

He doesn't want to get married and you want to date other people.

If time is an issue for you, break up with him this afternoon and get yourself back on the apps tomorrow.

MuddyPawsIndoors · 31/03/2025 11:51

I don't know, ask us another.

Like is the sky blue?

Caffeineneedednow · 31/03/2025 11:51

Yeah it's cheating. What happens if he does propose and finds put you had been seeing other people behind his back?

Have a conversation with him. If what you want from your future is not the same as him then end it.

MarkingBad · 31/03/2025 11:51

If you go back to dating without ending it you are every bit a cheating arsehole and deserve to be dumped unceremoniously.

Is that the froth you are after in your am i being a cf thread?

MagpiePi · 31/03/2025 11:50

Seriously??
How would you feel if your partner said he was dragging his heels on proposing because he’d been having a few coffee dates to see if there was someone better out there?

Bogginsthe3rd · 31/03/2025 11:49

Celia24 · 31/03/2025 11:45

To clarify, my partner is dragging his heels on a proposal for various reasons. In my 30s I’m not getting younger.

I don’t want to break up with him yet, but I also don’t want to put all my eggs in his basket.

would I be a cheat to consider signing back up to the dating apps, with the intention of going on some coffee dates (nothing physical)?

Will you be drinking coffee from ethically sourced coffee beans ?

MattCauthon · 31/03/2025 11:48

Yes, that's completely wrong and inappropriate. If you hvae a deadline for getting married and having children, express that clearly. If he can't or wont meet that deadline, leave and look elsewhere.

Sofiewoo · 31/03/2025 11:48

Is it cheating to start dating other people…??

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 31/03/2025 11:48

You know it is wrong to do that. End your relationship first - as you both want different things - and then start looking for someone new.
A decent man or woman wouldn’t, I’m pretty sure, be impressed with meeting someone in the scenario you are suggesting.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 31/03/2025 11:47

I can just imagine the replies if someone posted about a man doing this behind a woman's back.

CocklesandMuscles · 31/03/2025 11:47

Just end it if the relationship isn't working for you. Or propose to him if you want to marry him. Going back on the apps is childish and manipulative.

KimberleyClark · 31/03/2025 11:47

Just end it. Hedging your bets is the unethical thing to do in this situation.

Ineffable23 · 31/03/2025 11:46

I think you probably need to be up front and honest right?

If you put what is morally okay to one side, I think it's necessary simply from a practical perspective. One sure fire way to end a relationship is for him to discover you've been on dating apps and that he didn't know about it.

BallerinaRadio · 31/03/2025 11:46

Yes. Obviously.

Cnidarian · 31/03/2025 11:46

Errr.....pretty unethical? But if you want to blow it up just end it?

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