To wonder how unethical a coffee date would be if he won’t commit?

Are you 12?

Do you live together? Have shared finances? Do you do the housework, cooking, laundry etc? Do you bring in an income?

If the answer is yes, you've already handed him all the advantages of being married and none of the responsibilities. Why would he want to change that?

Either way, you need to tell him this is not a life you want - marriage and a family is your dream.

If it isn't his, you need to end this relationship and get out there.

It starts with talking with him.

Ask him out right about marriage and kids, if he says not yet bin him and find a man who will commit. Sadly your clock is ticking. Good luck

As long as you tell him that you no longer consider your relationship as exclusive, go for it.
What did Beyoncé say again?… 😂

Let me spell out for you how decent people behave in this world, because you don't seem to have a moral compass.

f you are in a relationship you don't date other people. If you want to date other people, you end your relationship first.

You might want to write that down so you remember, because for most people it is obvious, but apparently not for you.

@Celia24why don’t you propose to him?

i believe that’s called monkey branching and it’s for those not strong enough to be alone

For one thing, I doubt any half decent potential partner would be thrilled to find out they'd been dating someone who's still in a relationship...

Just end it.

Or talk to him!!!!

It isn't ethical IMO and I'm not sure how helpful it would be to go on dates anyway. So if you fell for someone after one coffee date - would you then break up with your DP? If you didn't meet anyone you liked, would you give up trying and settle for your DP? I think if you want to meet someone else, you may as well break up with your partner and go for it. There's no way of knowing if there's someone better out there - but if you feel there is, you probably need to break it off.

I think you need to be able to talk to your DP if you are considering marriage. Talk to him about marriage, find out where he stands, and take it from there.

Well if her DP wants her to be exclusive perhaps he should consider marriage.

Absolutely
Go for it
What're you afraid of?
Best wishes OP 💪💪👍👍
I'm rooting for you ♥️

OP if you're considering getting married, I would say that open & honest communication is the bedrock of that if you want it to last for the long term.

So no, not being able to discuss your honest feelings about where you want your relationship to be going isn't a great start.

As for playing the field to see if you can come up with a better offer while he decides whether you're worth some insta-perfect proposal?!?

I don't really get the impression that either of you is in this for the long haul 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you were thinking about doing this then why on earth do you feel he should be proposing?

That's no position to be in to be thinking about marriage. You need to either tell him that marriage is a deal-breaker and get married. Or tell him that the lack of marriage is a deal-breaker and you're going to end things.

Ditching him will concentrate his mind on whether he wants you or not.

Just end the relationship if it isn’t working for you - how you feel if your partner did this?

Yeah that's cheating.

You know its cheating because of how you'd feel if he did it.

Is a proposal a deal breaker for you? If so talk to him, if he's who you want to have a future with. Or leave him and have coffee with whoever you like

Just end it, then go on your date. You deserve better than to hang around hoping.

If you have not agreed to be committed, no. If you only ever dated one person at a time, forming relationships would be very difficult to near imposible unless you are very good at attracting a potential partner or have massive amounts of free time (I don't get how some people have the time to go on hundreds of dates when one would think they have to earn a living for some significant proportion of their time). In the OP's case, if she is expecting a proposal, they have agreed commitment at some point and dating other people would be cheating. If it is not cheating, that means in this situatiuon you should be able to tell your partner you are dating other people and expect them to be perfectly happy with that.

If you are actually considering doing this then just end the relationship now.

He isn't the man for you

You’re also really out of touch if you think there’s many men on dating sites looking for marriage.. its a rarity, and those that are certainly won’t entertain a woman that’s already in a relationship.

I think if you're going to do it, you may as well get a 3 course dinner out of it with champagne on tap. Not boring old coffee! You want to see whether these men are willing to whip out their wallets and support you, not cheapskates who think paying for your oat flat white is a stretch!

I don't see what you get out of these dates?

Just leave if you don't want the same things

Don't waste mens' time if they're meeting you in good faith. That's so shitty.

You know the answer. I suspect you also know that the fact you are even thinking about looking for a replacement man before you've addressed the problem with this relationship tells you that this is not the man for you.

Or, as Mr Du Jour is fond of saying, "One at a time is good fishing".

I think if you both considered yourself single until marriage, and dated other people then no- it’s not unethical.

i think to be in a monogamous relationship and do that is unethical- well it’s cheating.

but it’s not unreasonable to not want to play the role of wife without commitment/proposal. However just be honest and break up. You have different, incompatible desires here.