To expect DH to wake up when the kids do?!

What time does he have work? Does he have early and late shifts? If he was on a late shift last night then I’d say fair enough but if he’s at work 9-5 then he needs to be up

Quite!

Have a proper talk with him tonight when the kids are in bed. Tell him how this is making you feel, and work out a better system together. If he agrees but then doesnt, stick to it, then move to pulling the quilt off etc, and let him actually see how angry you really are with his behaviour. Smothering your righteous anger benefits nobody and will end up making you ill.

Fuck off, is he!

That’s pure misogynist bollocks.

Parenting is a Team sport not the auto default of the vagina owner!

Do you both work?

I would be tempted to wake up poorly tomorrow morning.

YABU to do the whole spoon dropping and huffing and puffing. Just tell him to get his shit together and buy him an alarm clock

This is an issue in our house too. Husband complains he never gets to sleep in. I try to explain sleeping in is not a reality when you have kids.

Sometimes he will take the baby to the sofa and they will fall asleep again and I’m like - thank you for ruining this days napping schedule.

I try to explain that I am awake every single night so even if he did every single morning shift he should not complain.

hate daylight savings in the spring.

Go in and take the duvet off. Worked on me as a teenager when my dad did it, especially when he opened the window as well. No, you shouldn’t have to. But needs must.

Dh is pretty good, but he is a bit inclined to hide places on his phone. Or need to send an important work email first thing (his employees start at 7:30 tbf, but it’s more often staring at social media for 20 minutes from bed). As a rule, I get up when he gets up. He sets his alarm for 7am most mornings, but doesn’t actually get up til 7:10, 7:15. I roll out of bed 30 seconds later. It means no one is lying around in bed all morning when there are things to do. The longer it takes him to get up, the more pressured the whole morning is because I’m not hopping up at 6am sorting everything for everyone. We do it together or it doesn’t get done at all.

I specifically enforce lie ins for myself when we have houseguests (he invites them). I will not get up til he’s dressed and making everyone coffee. I don’t do hosting. You invite people, you have to get up and talk to them in the morning and sort the coffee and breakfast. I get my coffee, give them a wave and take myself back to bed. Not my job. He likes the idea of entertaining people, but not the actual having to spend time with them bit 🙄 so I don’t swoop in and save the day.

Why has the clocks changing made things worse? Dawn is now an hour later than it was last week.

The thign I don't understand, and I don't mean to sound like I'm blaming you, i show has this gone on for so long. I mean, at some point when DC1 started school and DD was a toddler, we slipped into this pattern a bit - I'd get up and do all the chores and he'd sort of stumble downstairs a bit bleary eyes just before leaving for school run. But pretty quickly I realised how absolutely shit that was and there were a few discusisons (and yes, I think I probably did start with a slightly passive aggressive approach that was NOT helpful) and then I fairly forcefully pointed out that this was SHIT and he realised that in fact it absolutely WAS shit and we changed the system.

My point is that I understand how you sort of sleep walk into these situations, but I don't understand how you then let them go on for this long? You need to by laying down a very clear boundary that this is not acceptable.

If he manages to get up for work he can get up to parent

Since sunrise is 6.46am...?

...which is dawn?

What a weird thing to say.

YANBU OP but I literally don't wake up with noise as I'm a deep sleeper. Maybe get him to get an alarm clock.

Send the kids in to wake him.

"I can't find my tie!" "Ask your dad to help you find it."

"I've got no clean socks!" "Your dad will look for some." "He's sleeping. " "Wake him up, then."

"Ask your father".

Don't many people say that to kids any more?

When both parents are in the house then both parents can and should parent. Obviously, there are some exceptions eg breastfeeding, parent who works shifts so maybe on a different sleep schedule, but otherwise one doesn’t get to lie in and avoid the morning routine (and let’s face it the majority of people who regularly behave like this will be the man in the house) Doesn’t matter if one is a SAHP, mornings especially with Primary and younger aged children should be all hands to the pump scenario.

Things can be made slightly easier by getting bags, uniform etc ready the evening before. Again something either parent and older children can do

I genuinely don't understand why you're in this situation. Surely you just discuss and agree who's doing what of a morning. This is such a common theme on mumsnet, and yet I feel a lot of women are enabling it...

You are ok with domestic violence then?

My husband can be like this, it's very annoying, when the kids really needed help, were too young to get themselves dressed etc, you would have to really force him awake to get him to help. He can sleep through anything!

However all the problems you listed if I had woken my husband to deal with those instead of me, he would say why are you helping? It's their problem, they need to learn. E.g. the 10 year old should have checked she had PE socks last night, if she can't find any now or forgot to put them in the laundry she'll have to do PE bare foot. The 7 year old - if he has left his room in such a mess or whatever, that he can't find his tie he can go to school without it and he can get told off by the teachers. The 3 year old doesn't have to have a blue cup, let them scream, they'll stop when they're thirsty.

The tea in bed sounds like you're just adding in an extra job and he'll sit in bed drinking it while you continue doing everything....

During the day, when he's awake, tell him that when you get up at 630 with the kids, he needs to too. Tell him it's too much for one person to get three kids ready (ignoring the fact a ten year old absolutely can get themselves ready) and if he doesn't want to break you he'll pull his weight.

I would say saying a 3 year old can "sod off" over a small tantrum is a really abusive attitude tbh. I would be concerned if you have kids. She's 3, she'll likely stop doing it in a few short months.

Really badly behaved? For a bit of confusion in the morning?

You sound horrid and I'm pleased for OP's kids they aren't yours.

Use your mouth and tell him to get up? It's not a hard one is it? If this were my husband I'd simply say 'get up and help'. And then he would.

Fuck. That.

Is he at work at the time OP is discussing?
If yes than YANBU. Cos he's not there. If no, then YABU and your post is horseshit.

His type of behaviour kills marriages ...

Even if I believed he was still.asleep it's because he has absolved himself of having to think about it. It's obviously "your job and not his.