To expect DH to wake up when the kids do?!

Ask your "D"H tonight what time he thinks is acceptable for you to wake him tomorrow, and what methods he recommends. If he doesn't want to sound like a twat he'll say, "When the kids wake up, any method you like." When they wake up, get out of bed taking the duvet with you. Send every child to him with every single request for tie/socks/cup.

Why wouldn't you just wake him up? I would wake him or send one of the kids to wake him when they wake you all wake.

This is insane. Why all of the passive aggressive nonsense and huffing and puffing without any real communication?

Once you have a child you need a plan to ensure both parents get adequate sleep, lie ins, and free time. It's not use just playing it by ear and hoping it pans out because everyone has different strengths and inevitably one person will end up doing too much then resenting the other, while the other slacks off knowing their coparent will manage it.

Tonight when the kids are in bed, sit down together and come up with a plan for each day of the week. Who gets up with the kids. Who can sleep in a bit. On days when you're all off, the person who gets up so the other person can have a lie in gets an equal amount of chill time to themselves later in the day.

I'm an early riser, and DH is a late to bed late to wake kinda person. So on a weekend I get up at 7 with our child, while he sleeps until 9. Then they go off to an activity while I can get ready at a leisurely pace, and I get a couple hours to myself to do what I want (go for coffee with a friend, mooch around the shops, play guitar, watch TV, nice long bath, whatever I want). Works for us. He uses his 'free time' to sleep in. I use mine to do fun stuff.

Every weekday we know exactly whose responsibility it is to wake up with our kid. There is no resentment and passive aggression.

You need to sort this out ASAP together or the resentment will eat away at your marriage.

I’m sure every woman here is wildly grateful for this man’s groundbreaking advice.

Well how does he get himself up for work if “noise doesn’t work”?

Give him and the older kids the responsibility of the evening prep and when, in the morning, something isn’t where it should be, send the child in the bedroom to ask him where it is.

It’s amazing what you can sleep through when you don’t view it as your problem to deal with.

My husband is the same and I don't know how he is so dead to the world. However don't bang around, make him get up if you want him to help. I went away with for my mams 60th birthday and had to make sure the eldest would get up with the 2&4yr old just so he could wake his dad up to look after them. Seriously the 4yr old wakes and screams for me at the top of her lungs, banging on the connecting wall at 5.30-6am every day when she wakes up and he doesn't move, no hitch in his snoring, nothing. I have to shake him and take the covers away to get him up 😂😂😂. Tell him, noise obviously doesn't work and certainly doesn't with mine. If he promises me a very rare lay in then I get one, but I have to wake him up when they wake up to get it otherwise it would be midday on a weekend lol.

Link please?! (Teenager!)

OP - you can have this line for free 😁
"where are my PE socks?! 😭"
"They're wherever you put them when I asked you to get your PE kit ready last night."

Remain calm
Repeat as necessary
(You can add an unconcerned "gosh" when they start telling you how they were going to get it but...)

I feel like most women don't realise that men sleep through anything and aren't wired to wake up to babies/kids anyway, until they have kids.

Well he would get a shake awake ,hand a sharp dig in the ribs from me! Honestly WTF? How can you go on like this for a decade.No more its your life too you know

And when we did have young children, we took it in turns and I would not get out of bed until 08:30 for a 09:00 start if it wasn't 'my turn'.

My original comment was to the poster that mentioned why are they only getting up at 8am if they start work at 9am.

He needs to sort the bags and packed lunches out before he goes to bed so that everything is by the front door in the morning.

what would he do if you needed to be away for a night if a relative was ill? Would the kids not go to school?

I would burn something and set the smoke alarm off.

Ok, I get the passive agresivness comments, but why should a grown adult man with kids "need" to be woken up like a child when he has responsibilities?
Put an alarm on for 6.30, wake up. Just like his wife does..
After you ask an adult several times to wake up and he doesn't, you kinda give up!.
It gets annoying the fact that you have to insist to a parent to take on some of the responsibilities rather than shoulder them yourself all the time. I totally understand that.

It was obvious you didn’t have young children. The point being what time you wake up at is totally irrelevant considering this is a couple with 3 young children.

Okay. Put your big girl pants on, rather than be on mumsnet talking about this you need to talk to him. When the kids have gone to bed tonight have a very clear conversation (no phones or telly on) about this stupid 'dont hear them' behaviour and outline what you expect. Explain they are all equally your children and you are both EQUALLY responsible for them. So unless he wants to be responsible for a relationship going sour and you continuing to resent him, when the children wake up you'll both get up from now on and sort the morning routine. Much calmer environment is needed for all before school and work and you need to be firm and lay out clear boundaries and expectations that you WILL NOT back down from! Don't take any shit!

When you are getting up pull the curtains, open the window and bring the duvet downstairs with you. He'll get up then!

Don't have young kids any more but when we did, DP took them to before school club as it's on the way to thier work (8am start) but every other day I'd get up first and sort the kids before they took them.

We take it in turns.

Basically you can - and you do.

He can - but he won't.

Because you do.

Have the conversation and let him know that you need him to listen, how the resentment and unfairness is building, and you don't want to feel like this.

YABU for not telling him to get. Clearly he's not going to of his accord so wake him

This ^

According to my watch dawn today is 5:57am and sunrise 6:32am. (At least it is at my latitude and longitude in the Uk)

The shit on this thread from people who think that if he works he doesn't need to help in the mornings?? Listen to yourselves! Fucking hell

Relax everyone. The man is here to let everyone know it’s OP’s fault, she just has to prepare better.

Surely you need to both sit down and make a plan for mornings? He’s not an early riser, I get it, me neither. My husband gets up earlier than me as he needs to leave earlier, so he gets the school aged kids up, ensures they’re dressed (I’ve laid out uniforms night before and got PE bags etc. ready) and helps them get breakfast. Then he leaves for work. If the 2yo wakes during this time, I’ve gotta get up. If he chills in his cot, I get a bit extra sleep and my husband gets ready quietly. Then I take over the rest of the morning routine and get them all to school/nursery. Then on weekends one of us lies in Sat, the other Sunday. Neither of us are annoyed, both doing what’s necessary to make it work.