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Original poster

I can’t believe my friend *[content warning: concerns child abuse]

65 replies

bloomerf · 31/03/2025 07:44

We’ve been friends since 12 were 26 now. My friend has been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years. I understand she’s and adult and will make her own decisions. This guy she has been dating who is not the bio dad to her son she has been letting him discipline him. I don’t mean take away his iPad I mean serious discipline.

The other day I spoke on the phone for a few and she told me she lets him discipline her son. She was upset with her bf because he made her 4 year old stand for hours in soiled clothes because he lied about peeing in the bed. I could not believe what the hell I was hearing. I don’t give input unless asked but what the actual fuck??

I have asked her what her plans are and she just keeps telling me she loves him and he’s a good guy. I’m sorry I’m so furious because to me that’s not acceptable. Am I too involved or is this shit like not ok???

OP posts:
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CroissantOfFur · 31/03/2025 23:23

The parent that lets another adult abuse their child as does nothing to stop it needs the book thrown at them too. This woman would be no friend of mine. I would make sure I distanced myself thoroughly from her once I was satisfied that the child was somewhere safe. That poor little one.

Medtoms · 31/03/2025 15:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

theDudesmummy · 31/03/2025 14:16

She has contacted the authorities and is making a proper effort to get this dealt with urgently, read the thread, please don't slam her by saying she waited too long etc. She knows that but is doing the right thing now and should be supported in this. She has said she will update.
NSPCC is not relevant, she is in the US.

JHound · 31/03/2025 11:04

I came from an insanely strict background. This is not discipline is it child abuse.

I would absolutely be contacting the authorities / SS / speaking to my family members who are SS to get advice on how to handle.

Say nothing and this will soon be a news story with a dead child and your friend looking at serious jail time.

I don’t get parents who allow their new partner to discipline their child. I really don’t.

HornyHornersPinger · 31/03/2025 10:42

Report to NSPCC.
TODAY!

Newmumburnout · 31/03/2025 09:57

Please do everything you can to safe guard this child. And also your friend she may also be mistreated.

Original poster
bloomerf · 31/03/2025 09:11

Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 09:06

And? Did you speak to someone in person? That was quick

Show quote history

I spoke with an agent I will be stopping by the office to speak with someone in person when the offices are open.

OP posts:
Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 09:06

bloomerf · 31/03/2025 09:06

I have contacted the child abuse hotline and will also be stopping by the local office in my town at 8am. With it being so early I will give her parents a call in a few hours.

And? Did you speak to someone in person? That was quick

Original poster
bloomerf · 31/03/2025 09:06

I have contacted the child abuse hotline and will also be stopping by the local office in my town at 8am. With it being so early I will give her parents a call in a few hours.

OP posts:
luckylavender · 31/03/2025 08:51

If this is true, get off sm and get help for the child.

ChippingSoda · 31/03/2025 08:50

Hi I agree with all the posters saying you must report to SS and school, and I also think you should talk to your friend about how you see this and ask her to put her child first and leave this man. Blended families can and do work well but so many people also have horror stories about their mum letting men who did not love them into their lives and ruining childhoods. Give the little lad a good chance in life and do everything you can to get this man out of it.

Amba1998 · 31/03/2025 08:50

AliBaliBee1234 · 31/03/2025 08:05

This is quite often something you end up reading about in the news. This is abuse and although it puts you in a really difficult situation, you need to at least tell the school.

Edit: saw your update, well done for not turning a blind eye

Edited

I was going to say the most recent trials in the news of poor kids who have been killed by parents or step parents have included making children stand in one spot for prolonged periods of time. This is vile and is not acceptable but could also escalate. Report report report

Original poster
bloomerf · 31/03/2025 08:50

Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 08:48

Come back and update if you can

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I will update

OP posts:
Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 08:48

bloomerf · 31/03/2025 08:46

That’s what I said @Elicitcoffee

Show quote history

Come back and update if you can

AliBaliBee1234 · 31/03/2025 08:47

CheeseyOnionPie · 31/03/2025 08:41

OP you should have reported this immediately instead of posting online.

I don't think having a go at OP is going to help. Last thing we want is for them to be scared off.

OP I hope you use this advice and please update us once you've reported! Alot of us are worried for this boy.

Original poster
bloomerf · 31/03/2025 08:46

Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 08:45

So you’re calling the number I gave you? Now?

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That’s what I said @Elicitcoffee

OP posts:
Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 08:45

bloomerf · 31/03/2025 08:44

I should have and I’m taking the proper steps now.

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So you’re calling the number I gave you? Now?

Original poster
bloomerf · 31/03/2025 08:44

CheeseyOnionPie · 31/03/2025 08:41

OP you should have reported this immediately instead of posting online.

I should have and I’m taking the proper steps now.

OP posts:
Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 08:41

So I have provided you with the number

have you called?

CheeseyOnionPie · 31/03/2025 08:41

OP you should have reported this immediately instead of posting online.

Original poster
bloomerf · 31/03/2025 08:39

TheObligingSwan · 31/03/2025 08:32

Glad to hear you're going to take action OP. The greatest threat to a child's safety is an unrelated male (I imagine, sadly, the next greatest threat is a related male).

You have to be strong now and accept your friendship is probably over. To SS she will deny what she's said to you, she will defend her partner. I've been there and it blew my family apart. My sister in law confided in me that my brother had physically assaulted their 6 year old son quite badly, and not for the first time. I couldn't live with that information so called the NSPCC for advice. They got SS involved. My SIL denied the whole thing - my brother (a very outwardly charming man) laughed it off and SS took no further action!! BUT, it put the fear of God up him and he knew we (DH and I) were watching him. It divided our family sadly, but I'd do it again tomorrow if I thought a child was being harmed.

It’s really sad to know there are children in these situations. I will also be contacting her parents about this.

OP posts:
Clarice99 · 31/03/2025 08:34

Belshels · 31/03/2025 08:25

Reminds me of that poor little boy Arthur Labinjo-Hughes 💔

Arthur immediately came into my mind too. And Star Hobson.

Heartbreaking.

Edit/Typo

TheObligingSwan · 31/03/2025 08:32

Glad to hear you're going to take action OP. The greatest threat to a child's safety is an unrelated male (I imagine, sadly, the next greatest threat is a related male).

You have to be strong now and accept your friendship is probably over. To SS she will deny what she's said to you, she will defend her partner. I've been there and it blew my family apart. My sister in law confided in me that my brother had physically assaulted their 6 year old son quite badly, and not for the first time. I couldn't live with that information so called the NSPCC for advice. They got SS involved. My SIL denied the whole thing - my brother (a very outwardly charming man) laughed it off and SS took no further action!! BUT, it put the fear of God up him and he knew we (DH and I) were watching him. It divided our family sadly, but I'd do it again tomorrow if I thought a child was being harmed.

Neetra30 · 31/03/2025 08:29

Please please @bloomerf report your friend to police and social services.
That little boy is at serious risk of harm.
If anything happens to him, it will be on your conscience forever because you have the power to change things.
That poor little soul doesn't. If his mum was putting her son first she would have left her partner.
But she didnt.
For the love of god, please do something. Too many children have died due to parental/step parent abuse. Don't let this boy be one of them

Original poster
bloomerf · 31/03/2025 08:28

Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 08:27

It took me 10 seconds to find the 24 hour 7 day a week reporting line in the US

And even if you hadn’t been able to find

police (911 just in case!)

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Thanks @Elicitcoffee

OP posts:
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