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Original poster

To think that not toilet training your child is borderline neglect?

213 replies

PithyNavyViewer · 30/03/2025 22:24

If your kid is four and still in nappies, that’s not a “gentle parenting choice” - it’s just lazy.

OP posts:
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 30/03/2025 22:44

Teachers are reporting seeing far more children joining Reception who are not toilet trained than there used to be. Unless levels of SEN have risen in the last few years that change has to be down to parenting. Teachers are also saying that more children are struggling with speech and language and social skills.

Hoydenish · 30/03/2025 22:38

x2boys · 30/03/2025 22:28

But lots of special needs/ disabillities are not diagnosed by four .

Show quote history

Yes, this.
But we will still hear lots about lazy parents blah blah.

Anyotherdude · 30/03/2025 22:38

The circumstances have changed, OP.
One of my DC’s was perfectly fine in the day, but wet themself at night until mid 20’s (now diagnosed as autistic). The other was wetting themself in the day until 6, then perfectly dry thereafter.
Both DC’s were at the forefront of the introduction of pull-ups. While these are great, I honestly think they made it easier for both DC to continue to wet themselves beyond the age I did in the 1960’s, because even if they did, there were no painful or uncomfortable circumstances arising from accidents, so very difficult to properly toilet train.
However, as I was working full time, pull-ups were a life-saver, so I can see why some kids take longer to train…

Sourwitch · 30/03/2025 22:37

Fensalwe · 30/03/2025 22:32

There's going to be comments now about people saying their child is SEN

Have SEN not is SEN!

Queenfreak · 30/03/2025 22:36

My 8 year old isn't in nappies, but still has very regular accidents.
We now know she has an underdeveloped introception, and is seeing an OT.
However when she was 4, and still used nappies/pull ups because she quite frankly hadn't got a clue and I was absolutely frantic and riddled with guilt, your comment would have sat with me for weeks. Like a lovely big brutal stick.

Fensalwe · 30/03/2025 22:32

There's going to be comments now about people saying their child is SEN

ChompandaGrazia · 30/03/2025 22:31

And what 4 year old are we talking about here?
Someone you know?
Something you read online?
Or just something that exists in your head?

georgeorus · 30/03/2025 22:31

I agree. It’s unfortunately more and more common for parents to leave it later due to laziness

Manysocks · 30/03/2025 22:29

Depends really. I mean, my youngest was (just over) 4 before he cracked it and I didn’t have him in nappies when we were out. We had tried on and off for over a year before that.
Not great if they haven’t even attempted it though.

x2boys · 30/03/2025 22:28

WhateverMate · 30/03/2025 22:27

A four year old in nappies who has no additional needs, yet has not been toilet trained would indeed be a neglected child, yes.

But lots of special needs/ disabillities are not diagnosed by four .

WhateverMate · 30/03/2025 22:27

A four year old in nappies who has no additional needs, yet has not been toilet trained would indeed be a neglected child, yes.

x2boys · 30/03/2025 22:26

Not quite aa simple as that but i exepect you know that.....

TheStigarette · 30/03/2025 22:25

Unless there are SN it is neglect.