Shit mothers day anyone?

First off, absolute solidarity with people having a shite or disappointing Mother’s Day. I have been there in the past at times and it can sting.

This was the first Mother’s Day since my teenage son died in February this year. I have had a shit day balancing my overwhelming grief whilst also trying to be kind to my other child who went to some effort to draw me a lovely picture and make me a card. I am still a mum of 2, but one will never be with me ever again, and that is so painful.

Solidarity OP. My teen DD, also ASD, told me I’m a terrible mother. Then again, she tells me that most days! I did ask her for a cup of tea (she was making one herself anyway) and she replied ‘only if there’s enough water left in the kettle’.

She managed to hold it together til 9pm though, so not bad going. And I channeled my emotions in a productive way - I attacked my laundry pile and did some rage cleaning.

She did ask earlier in the week if I’d like to go out for lunch, which would have meant paying a hefty price to be insulted in public, so I’m glad I passed on that!

I love her dearly, and she can be unbelievably kind and thoughtful, but my god she’s hard work.

My mum came to see us, because I live with her mum, and we had a gift exchange.

Then she spent the entire time complaining about her health, which isn't terrible and still fixable if she takes some personal responsibility, think pre-diabetes, fatty liver, anxiety.

But when we offered encouragement or advice she didn't actually want that. She wanted us to just confirm that she was dying, she's not responsible for herself, it's all the shitty NHSs fault, and then to top it off she complained about the gift I gave her which she has spent the last 4 weeks asking for and cost me a significant amount of money which would have been better off in my pocket.

She left quite abruptly complaining nobody listens to her and claiming we were angry with her which nobody was, although this is also a staple move of hers when she's hungover.

My sons father text me saying he is sorry he forgot about mothers day, which is an annual tradition, where he tells me that it isn't on his radar because his mum is dead and I remind him that whilst that is sad, his child's mum is very much still alive, but I just let the rest slide because I've no expectations of him and I was just grateful that I get to spend a nice sunny day with my little boy.

Not the shittest mothers day, and definitely not racing to the bottom with anyone but I don't know why we 3 women can't just say fuck it, let's go for Sunday lunch somewhere, have a mooch round a garden centre or something, kiss eachother on the cheek and part ways at the end of the day and be content that it was just nice to spend time with eachother.

My ‘dh’ couldn’t even get up to get the baby’s milk, said he was too tired, went to work an hour early without saying goodbye and came home nearly 2 hours late so missed bedtime leaving everything to me today. He can’t understand why I’m upset, even after I directly told him what’s wrong. He’s blaming me watching people’s Instagram stories and getting jealous.
it’s nice other people are appreciated, I’m happy for them but yeah I am jealous that my husband didn’t help our baby and toddler to sort something for me, I’ve always done it for Father’s Day. Next Father’s Day I’m booking myself into a spa and disappearing for the day!

I’ve had a decent day, dd 19 was the only dc home this morning so I made my own tea , no breakfast as I was going to mums where I knew there would be copious amounts of cakes!
DD surprised me with new trainers for the gym which was unexpected! Then both my DS came home with gifts too! Flowers, chocs , yankee candle & a charm for my bracelet. Most I’ve ever had for Mothers Day so I was very touched to be appreciated.

Had some sad Mothers Days in the past. I always get MIL a card & gift when I’m getting my own mum as dh is in poor health. Some years when kids were really young I got nothing at all. Barely acknowledged. Then it was just the hand made stuff they made at school/ Scouts. As teens my dd has always got me something while the boys have been a bit hit & miss.
I always end up cooking dinner & doing household chores too! Same this year! But I didn’t mind as much as I got nice gifts. There has been years a cup of tea would have been appreciated . Those with young dc hang in there! They will spoil you one day !

Had he already eaten half the box and left you the ones he didn’t want?

oh dear… ex for a reason ehh?

I feel deflated today. But not sure if my expectations are too high. Adult daughter is away for the weekend with her partner, step son and baby. She’s sent me a lovely text first thing this morning thanking me for always being there for her, being an amazing mum, but no card or present. Should I feel happy with just the lovely text, and am I being a little bit self entitled and grabby to expect a card at least? Adult son who is lacking in social skills (can be quite cold and detached) doesn’t really bother, unless prompted by his dad. He still lives at home, no prompting this time, and nothing. Took my own mum out though, and had a nice time, but just feel let down by children who i am there for 100%, every single day.

My son (30) has been sectioned for 3 years and has treatment resistant paranoid schizophrenia, he has no idea what day it is.

Mothers Day and previously special events and holidays lost all meaning to me nearly 9 years ago when he had his breakdown and this started.

I’ve spent most the day looking at memories and photos from BS (before schizophrenia) when he used to organise so many wonderful and random treats and days out.

Both my grown up children away on holiday, one did manage a text saying 'happy mothers day'. My own mum died few years back. Just a normal day for me . Took myself to the garden centre full of mums being taken out for breakfast/lunch/ gifts/flowers. Felt sad and had a little 😢 cry driving home.

Sorry. Absent fathers to SEN children? Mm...

If it wasn’t for my mom I wouldn’t have gotten anything from my son.
I joked to his dad as he dropped him off- “is my mother’s day card in the bag?”

response- he made you one at school didn’t he?

it actually really hurt and reminded me how unappreciated I am. A £1 card wouldn’t have hurt. Especially as he took him to the shops to get his nan a card and flowers.

My day was kind of ok. Hand made cards from the kids (made at school), chocolates and a plant…

but the plant I got was the cheaper smaller one that he bought for his mum. The plant he originally bought for me was a lovely Lily but poisonous for kids & cats so he swapped it this morning…
then we spent the day driving around and chasing his mum and family on a beach walk that we didn’t get invited to to give her her present.
with the clock change it was a late lunch and he wanted a quick McDonalds.. which I hate and I hate feeding the kids it.
Then the roast he offered to cook didn’t happen. He had a breakdown over a shelf I asked him to put up. Smashed it to pieces as it broke trying to put it up.. so I cooked the dinner.
sooo not great. Not that I overly invest at all in Mother’s Day. Just another day where everyone’s needs get put ahead of mine and everyone else is more important than me!

I’ve had an awful day. My mum wouldn’t even share her mini eggs with me!

My goodness the more a read on this forum about husbands throwing tantrums and being shit the more I despair.
I have got glandular fever and anemia at the moment but DH has really stepped up and he made today really special. He even saw the perfect card for my mum last week and bought it. Yep he drives me mad at times and is not the tidiest and is always losing things but he is a bloody saint compares to a lot on here.
please lady’s don’t settle and don’t spent the rest of your life with someone who does not care

I don’t really care if it’s not with my DC tbh but I’m tempted next year to book a spa day for just me. It’s far too depressing to book an activity with DH and DC for Mother’s Day so I’m just going to pretend it’s a normal day which will hopefully help me manage my expectations.

Two adult kids. 29 and 26 both still at home. Neither even mentioned Mother’s Day. ‘d’ h says he won’t remind them as they are adults. When younger my mum reminded them but she is dead now because ‘d’ h said that I am not his mother so not his responsibility. Saw loads out with their dm’s today and extra sad as I supported eldest through transition even though I struggled with that. So shit day here.

Thank you, I'm alright.

These threads make me feel sad though, were allowed to feel a bit hurt at being taken for granted or seeing all the fluff on SM when we're dealing with the same shit we get every day. Men who can't stand the attention not being on them so they spoil.it in some way. Self absorbed teenagers or adult kids who should not bite the hand that feeds them.

SM especially isn't real. It's carefully selected and not to be compared with really.

He’s actually normally one of the ‘good guys’ generally but for some reason on Mother’s Day, he just doesn’t think!
To be fair, he offered to make tea but I said no as I’m much quicker at it so maybe I’m my own worst enemy 🤣 he was also getting his own holiday stuff ready as well. I just think as Mums… we deserve one day being just a little spoiled!

@ladygindiva sorry you are having a shite day. I've been depressed most of it. Woke up to my two sons grumbling because eldest (19) got the card but forgot to remind his brother (16) to sign it. Lost my mum two years ago, my grandad 35 years ago. No gift from either one of my sons either. I did say no gift because of the cost but.... sigh. Time for bed methinks. Good luck for tomorrow x

Not the point of the thread but Jesus - he went to play golf on Mother’s Day and didn’t help prep for holiday? What a prince…

Kids argued all day as ever - finally produced some cards after prompting from me. Tried to have walk in the afternoon - total moaning.

Mine was nice, I spent time with my three DC and my DM who we were told this time last year only had a few weeks to live, today I felt blessed.